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![tinkerbelle's Avatar](image.php?s=5394a3a51a3f046882f0a1484a518a44&u=76671&dateline=1164901750) |
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Nov 30, 2006, 06:40 AM
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Old Age Scars!
Hi guys! I need your help, I have a 17 yrs. Old scars on my right lower arm, I was only 12 yrs. Old when an accident happened... I threw away the burning oil from a frying pan but unfortunately the splash of burning oil went directly into my right arm and it resulted to a more than 20 round and oblong flat scars plus two small keloids near the elbow and the colors are dark brown and light brown. It really affects my daily life, it restricts me from doing everything that a normal person/girl does. I'm hiding these to everybody including my relatives and friends because I don't want anybody to laugh or even insult me because of my ugly scars... I want to wear comfortable clothes, I want to act normal in front of everybody but I am really afraid and shy... I'm tired already.. . Somebody help me!!
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![J_9's Avatar](image.php?s=5394a3a51a3f046882f0a1484a518a44&u=43109&dateline=1256099159) |
Expert
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Nov 30, 2006, 06:55 AM
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PrettyLady is by far the best expert here to answer your scar questions, and I will leave that up to her.
I will go on to say that, it looks like you are 29, adults are not as cruel as children. They are not going to laugh at you, insult you, or make fun of you because of your scars.
You could use your scars to teach people about the dangers of burning oil and how to handle this. You could turn it to your advantage rather than a disadvantage.
There should be no reason you cannot act normal in front of people. I think that there also may be a self-esteem issue here, possibly originally caused by the scars, but fueled by something else.
It should not affect your daily life. If someone asks you what happened tell them. That is all.
I see people on a weekly basis who have been burned up to 60% of their entire bodies, face included.
I hope PrettyLady can help you with your scar questions a bit better than I could.
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![Fr_Chuck's Avatar](image.php?s=5394a3a51a3f046882f0a1484a518a44&u=24071&dateline=1402162715) |
Expert
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Nov 30, 2006, 07:05 AM
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Do you know no one, not a single person we normally think of as beautiful think they are, most of them look in the mirror and wonder why anyone can love them with that longer nose, or one breast that is 1 mm larger than another, we laught about it, but to them, they are deathly afriad of it.
You have hidden in shame and never learned to deal with your issues.
So you have some scars, so what, you can not tell from my photo well, but I was in a serious accident 20 years ago or so. I had 100's of stiches on my forehead alone. There are scars there, my arm looks like I was in a knife fight and lost, I lost part of a eye lid, so one eye is much more open than the other.
Guess what unless I mention it, most people don't notice, ( maybe the eye) but no one even asks unless we are close enough friends that they feel they can. No one laughts,
No one laught at the midget in walmart, and god only knows about the 500 pound lady in spandex who perhaps needs to be laughed at for clothing choices.
Adults are accepting of other people, OK, a few may not be, but you move on past them.
The problem now is not the scar on your arm, but the scar on your mind that keeps you afraid to be yourself, you have a arm, I work with people all the time that would love to have a arm,
You merely need to wear what you want, and do what you want, and let others worry about them. If you are afraid of what others will say or do, you will never do anything.
I would suggest some counseling to help you learn to be the best you that is possible and accept yourself just the way you are.
For the actual scars, you can of course consult with a plastic surgon, there are many new things that is possible. or heck get them cover with tattoos, we have a lady we help that looks like a bill board.
The thing is, that the only thng stopping you from doing all those things, is you.
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![J_9's Avatar](image.php?s=5394a3a51a3f046882f0a1484a518a44&u=43109&dateline=1256099159) |
Expert
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Nov 30, 2006, 07:10 AM
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Sorry Fr. Had to spread the love.
That was a beautiful answer, spoken from the heart and experience.
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![tinkerbelle's Avatar](image.php?s=5394a3a51a3f046882f0a1484a518a44&u=76671&dateline=1164901750) |
New Member
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Nov 30, 2006, 07:24 AM
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Fr_Chuck & J-9, from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really appreciate your answers, although you made me cry a little, I feel relieved! You're both right, the problem is not really the scars... it's me & myself esteem...
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![J_9's Avatar](image.php?s=5394a3a51a3f046882f0a1484a518a44&u=43109&dateline=1256099159) |
Expert
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Nov 30, 2006, 07:29 AM
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Well, now, that is something we can work with!!
I am sure you are a beautiful person. Beauty is not always in the flesh, it is in the heart and soul also. You can, and will I am sure, find your beauty and wear it proudly.
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