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Blackbird2211
Jun 24, 2013, 01:47 AM
We have been married for 6 years, have a two year old boy and another one on the way in November. We've been together for 9 years and the first three were spent long distance. As soon as we were married things changed. He became verbally and emotionally abusive and it is a roller coaster ride of a relationship, hot and cold, up and down, and, if I'm honest mostly down.
My husband has often threatened divorce over the last 6 years. It's a get out for him, he comes from a broken messed up family and seems to think its OK. But it has never amounted to anything.. It's hard to like him with the hateful horrible things he says. Which I always forgive. But, if I do one thing, react emotionally get upset, argue with him, he tells me abusive and won't talk for a week or so.
This weekend was our sins second birthday. For which I did pretty much everything for. Of which I told him it wasn't fair and it's a shame I do everything. He has a lot of resentment and negativity towards me, and last night told me our marriage is 'dead and dusted' and that I ruin every special occasion there is.. Even our wedding, which was a new one on me. :( last night he sent a tirade of horrible texts to me (as he does so often) and even threatened to take the kids away from me and I'd have to fight him for them. I am a stay at home mum and he earns near $200,000 a year. He has assets I couldn't even begin to calculate and our funds are looked after by him. I'm originally from England, and he took great joy in the fact that I'd never be able to leave the country without his say so especially with or without the kids.
I don't know what to do. I don't think I like him anymore and the glimpses of love I felt for him are dwindling. He repeatedly puts me down telling me I'm not good enough, in between moments of building me up telling me I'm the best thing. I don't know how much I can take of this. I'm 5 months pregnant and I don't want the stress. I don't have access to money and don't know how to handle this. I slept on the couch last night. But I don't want that to happen again. I don't know if this is something he is going to get over and it just be another threat, (there's been so many) or if I really need to prepare myself.. But I really don't know how.

JudyKayTee
Jun 24, 2013, 08:05 AM
I would consult an Attorney to protect your legal rights and a Physician/therapist to protect your emotional health - and that of your children.

You know he's using you and is abusive or you wouldn't be here. Only you can end it.

joypulv
Jun 24, 2013, 08:33 AM
He said you can't leave the country, even alone? You can leave today, if you have a passport and the money for a plane ticket.
On another note - he works. Why should he help arrange a birthday?

smoothy
Jun 24, 2013, 09:04 AM
Couple things... he can't keep YOU from leaving and going back to England... he can however prevent you from taking his son... (and the other too if its actually born here first) out of the country.

You would be owed Alimony.. and CHild support assuming you remain here and win custody... and yes as the father he has equal rights to custody as you do. That would have to be fought out in family court HERE.