Hi,

I have been married to my partner after being in a relationship with him for 3 years. This is the fourth year that we are together. I somehow feel that the relationship is dead and it is difficult to continue. We fight almost everyday. The situation was not different even before marriage. But our relationship was known to everyone and I was worried about what people think about me if I don't get married to him. And more over at the end of the day we had love for each other. SO I felt everything would be all right. But things are not smooth as I thought. Out of 7 days a week 6 days we are in fight mode. I can't tell my parents or his as ours was a love marriage. He gets irritated for every small things. I am a person who do not want to take everything seriously. He is very responsible while I am not. I have improved a lot though. He keeps on cribbing for whatever I do. If I go to the kitchen and start making something he will ask why don't u check with me before cooking? If he is cooking something and I go and help him he will ask why don't you do your things I will manage, If I don't help he will say can't you do your stuff later... He has problem in me holding a bag pack with one hand. I mean he interferes too much into my personal space like he checks if my goggles is inside its cover, or why is it that I am making a particular expression while talking... I get too irritated. Whatever I do in this life is wrong.. He has a very bad temper so he cannot tell these things in a normal manner but it seems to me that he is shouting at me.Even when we go to my in laws place his parents always tell me to talk normally. But that is how he is and I do not think that it would change. We both are egoistic and I would not want to go back to him during fights.I feel we stop talking to each other than listening to his nagging all the time.

When we are in good terms both of us laugh a lot love each other but the duration is very short. When I talk he does not acknowledge and if I don't acknowledge if he talks he gets angry. He is very responsible and takes care of all house hold activities like paying bills buying groceries etc. In fact he does not let me do any of these things. Our expectations are different. I cry almost everyday because of these fights and even he is upset. Every now and then we both tell each other that 'I am fed up'. For him I make face when he finds faults at me. As per him I should not. And also he gets irritated for all those things that I mentioned above. I have never seen my dad or any other guy finding faults like this. I am scared to tell him that a glass fell down and broke from my hand. I believe to err is human.. no one would deliberately break or destroy things.I have been brought up in an atmosphere where my mom and dad used to understand my mistakes. I am sick and tried of hearing 'cant you do this' 'cant you do that' 'why are you like this' etc etc. Our tastes and interests are also different. For me he does not give me importance when we are in a group or with family. He will be in his own world. These all will be minor things. But a bunch of minor things have put this relationship in a worse situation. He might not be wrong. But for him I am not the girl and for me he is not the guy to be with.

I am scared to tell these things to my parents. Once before marriage I had told that we fight a lot and I do not want to be with him. But then he said he cannot live without me and even I also did not want to break up with him. Now for my parents we stay happily. If we get separated, my parents will not be happy. And I will not have any answers to everyone's questions. But when I think about future I am even more worried thinking where will this lead both of us to. Please suggest what to do.

I am so not the one who should answer this - but oh well. I know some of the Askmehelpdesk Guru's will pick this a part.

However, life is too short to be miserable. It isn't worth doing unless you are having fun doing it, so make everything fun. If you have tried to make this work and there is absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel, then maybe it's time to get out of the relationship - regardless of what your parent's think or may say. It isn't their relationship.

I have chosen the same stance of being anti-relationship. I just want to have a good time with people at this point. One or actually more than one of the one's I am seeing are pressuring me to have a relationship with them that is exclusive. I am really resisting it because I am sick and tired of them as well. But you have to realize their on consequences to our decision.