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View Full Version : He promised a baby, now he is taking it back... Divorce?


britishlover
Aug 17, 2012, 02:59 PM
When we got married my husband of seven years promised that we would have kids of our own. (he came to the marriage with 2 kids now, 7 and 9).
He stated 2 years ago that he was having doubts. We went to marriage counseling and the only thing that you can compromise with having a child is time. So the therapist recommended that I put my time into something else that would benefit me, and that was a compromise for my husband. Went to school, here we are 2 years later and now we are right back where we started. He says that he doesn’t want any kids, and when I tell him to get out, let me move on this is where he 'back peddles' and says 'No, fine I will settle and we will have one'.
Now, what I don’t want is for my husband to resent me or the baby. I want it to be a happy time. I feel that he is only doing this to not loose me. He sated that he knows that he is selfish, and thought that eventually I would forget about having a baby.
His dad even said that I should go to a sperm bank and then that way my husband wouldn’t have any responsibility to the kid. That way if my husband wanted to leave he just could. COME ON!

So those that know a little bit about me on here, know that I have tried, and struggled. I have been there, and done what I can. Working full time, school full time, and supporting him and the kids, I’m just done. I feel like there is more out there... or is there?

Guess that’s my question. If I want a kid, and he says "yeah I guess" Is that enough ground for me to leave? Looking at the big picture, don’t I deserve a man that wants to have a baby with me and not just settle? Or am I being selfish, and need to just say fine I won’t?

joypulv
Aug 17, 2012, 03:19 PM
What I'm wondering is why this is a question for us, total strangers. If you want us to weigh the options of no child, child with worries about his desire for one, leaving him, and having a sperm donor (serves no purpose as far as I can see), that's a tough topic really for you only. It's not like he is beating you, or doing drugs, or gambling your savings away, or having an affair.
I do wonder about your statement that you are supporting him and his kids. Why are you? What does he contribute?

Oops! Went back and read some of a thread from 2010 on this same subject. What the heck, why are you still with him? Also I see that you were asked what he does all day and what he contributes and you never answered.

JudyKayTee
Aug 17, 2012, 05:49 PM
Actually this has been going on for four years - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/young-love-however-acting-like-old-boring-couple-250302.html.

I would be a lot more comfortable if OP wanted to have a child, not a "kid." Sounds flippant.

Forcing/coercing/fooling the husband into having a "kid" after 4 years of problems would be a guaranteed disaster in my opinion.