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View Full Version : Can I get put into foster care without my parents consent?


gretchin155
Jul 18, 2012, 08:02 AM
I'm 15 years old and my mum and step dad have done nothing but treat me like dirt on there shoe,like my mum would go to work sometsomenights or days and during the time she's gone my step-dad would be very cheeky towards me,like if I asked were my mum was he would give me smart asnwers or yell and call me names,one day he called me a prick for asking were my mum was and I got very upset by this, I told my mum about this incident and she went back to my stpe dad about this and he denied the whole situation and my mum nearly ate my head off my shoulders calling me a liar and that I do bothing but make up stories, and my step dad has only been in my house for a couple monthsand he doesn't even let me watch my own t.v, which is very unfair, even when he's nt watching anything! My mum would sometimes hit me, like she gave me a busted lip by punching me in the face and I rang the police and they came out to my house and she denied the whole thing sh told them I did it myself, someone just pleasee help me with the ins out of foster care, I've had enough of them doing this to me, cause if ones not picking on me it's the other, you'd think they were a tag team:(

Prak the lycan
Jul 18, 2012, 08:14 AM
Dear friend,
You are 15 years old. You must be strong as well as mature to stand the pains subjected to by your step father. I feel that you would know someone maybe a relative from your real father's side. Get in touch with them at all costs. Tell them about your situation. Definitely you will be brought under their constant watch and hence your parents won't be able to humiliate you anymore otherwise they can take you under their care entirely if you mother is willing. Either way this act needs a lot of courage and robustness. Think clearly with a calm and free mind before you make any decision driven by your emotions because after this there is no chand\ce of going back. Hope you find yourself a solution to this. With warm regards and prayers for you.

smoothy
Jul 18, 2012, 08:14 AM
I'm 15 years old and my mum and step dad have done nothing but treat me like dirt on there shoe,like my mum would go to work sometsomenights or days and during the time she's gone my step-dad would be very cheeky towards me,like if I asked were my mum was he would give me smart asnwers or yell and call me names,one day he called me a prick for asking were my mum was and I got very upset by this, I told my mum about this incident and she went back to my stpe dad about this and he denied the whole situation and my mum nearly ate my head off my shoulders calling me a liar and that I do bothing but make up stories, and my step dad has only been in my house for a couple monthsand he doesn't even let me watch my own t.v, which is very unfair, even when he's nt watching anything! My mum would sometimes hit me, like she gave me a busted lip by punch:-) ing me in the face and I rang the police and they came out to my house and she denied the whole thing sh told them I did it myself, someone just pleasee help me with the ins out of foster care, I've had enough of them doing this to me, cause if ones not picking on me its the other, you'd think they were a tag team:(
Oh, how aweful, they won't even let you watch the TV they bought for you. Next they might make you study or get a job to pay for stuff... even make you do things you might not want to... Oh, wait... thats life for all of us adults.

Life isn't "fair" so its time you learn that.
I'd also like to know where all these teenage experts in life get this IDEA foster care is Utopia? If anything its far, far worse. Respect is earned, not owed from your elders and superiors. It will be like that your entire life. Not just home but work and everywhere.

Tough concept for the average teenager to grasp.. because they think the world still revolves around them.

It's a lesson you will HAVE to learn if you expect to make it in the real world. While its unfortunate your arguing escalated to violence, remember YOU had a part in it. Knowing teenagers as well as I do, you likely caused it. And someone on the street is not as likely to stop there. A foster parent would NOT put up with as much crap from a teenager either. They are paid to house and feed you, not love you or put up with your crap. And the day you turn 18, they throw you out onto the street.

Prak the lycan
Jul 18, 2012, 08:17 AM
You can speak about it to someone you trust preferably someone from your real father's family. Definitely they can understand you. From what you have written, I feel really sorry for you. You are old enough to face this. Someone at the age of 15 can easily face this. I am sure you will. Best of luck.

JudyKayTee
Jul 18, 2012, 12:24 PM
dear friend, You are 15 years old. You must be strong as well as mature to stand the pains subjected to by your step father. I feel that you would know someone maybe a relative from your real father's side. Get in touch with them at all costs. Tell them about your situation. Definitely you will be brought under their constant watch and hence your parents won't be able to humiliate you anymore otherwise they can take you under their care entirely if you mother is willing. Either way this act needs a lot of courage and robustness. Think clearly with a calm and free mind before you make any decision driven by your emotions because after this there is no chand\ce of going back. Hope you find yourself a solution to this. With warm regards and prayers for you.


For starters, how old are you?

The question is whether this person can be "put into foster care without [my] parents consent." Of course, he/she can IF the situation is reported to the property authorities and the authorities agree he/she should be removed from the home.

Talking to a relative who will be helpful could help. Whether or not that would then cause anyone to be brought under that person's "constant supervision" is questionable.

OP is complaining because the stepfather won't let him/her watch TV whenever he/she wants? I don't think that's abusive.

Hitting is. I have no idea how the mother explained the bleeding lip. So - report the abuse to the local Child Protective Agency and get placed in foster care. Foster care, by the way, is not fun, but if there are no other options, well, that's an option.

gretchin155
Jul 18, 2012, 03:22 PM
Oh, how aweful, they won't even let you watch the tv they bought for you. Next they might make you study or get a job to pay for stuff....even make you do things you might not want to.....Oh, wait...thats life for all of us adults.

Life isn't "fair" so its time you learn that.
I'd also like to know where all these teenage experts in life get this IDEA foster care is Utopia? If anything its far, far worse. Respect is earned, not owed from your elders and superiors. It will be like that your entire life. Not just home but work and everywhere.

Tough concept for the average teenager to grasp..because they think the world still revolves around them.

Its a lesson you will HAVE to learn if you expect to make it in the real world. While its unfortunate your arguing escalated to violence, remember YOU had a part in it. Knowing teenagers as well as I do, you likely caused it. And someone on the street is not as likely to stop there. A foster parent would NOT put up with as much crap from a teenager either. They are paid to house and feed you, not love you or put up with your crap. And the day you turn 18, they throw you out onto the street.

Yes you may think that mentioning not being aloud to watch t.v is a stupid reason to be complaining, and I know that myself but I am trying to make my point. He thinks he can boss me about like a rag doll when he can't. He has my mum rapped round his baby finger in other words he's got her doing and listening to what he says or does, were suppost to be moving to canada to, but I really don't want to nor do my sister or brother and my mums exact words were 'I don't care,ill go without yous' she's more less turning round and saying look I don't give a crap about yous aslong as I have my husband. How do you think that makes me feel?I swear I always feel down in the dumps ever since she said that, the only thing now that's going through my head is my mum doesn't seem to care about me, like what she said is more than enough proof, and as for you saying about it being my fault, yes me and my mum are both to blame its not always entirely my fault, and I wouldn't treat or talk to foster parents like a bit of dirt, dirt, cause I would respect them, and try to start new and change the way I speak, whether its hell or not, I would just know to start good and keep on the gbetter side of things, were as in the house I'm in now? Its impossible. No one listens and I always cry myself to sleep.

JudyKayTee
Jul 18, 2012, 03:26 PM
Yes you may think that mentioning not bein aloud to watch t.v is a stupid reason to be complaining, and I kno that myself but I am trying to make my point. He thinks he can boss me about like a rag doll when he can't. He has my mum rapped round his baby finger in other words he's got her doing and listening to what he says or does, were suppost to be moving to canada to, but I really don't want to nor do my sister or brother and my mums exact words were 'I don't care,ill go without yous' she's more less turning round and sayin look I don't give a crap about yous aslong as I have my husband. How do you think that makes me feel?I swear I always feel down in the dumps ever since she said tht, the only thing now that's going through my head is my mum doesn't seem to care about me, like what she said is more than enough proof, and as for you saying about it being my fault, yes me and my mum are both to blame its not always entirely my fault, and I wouldn't treat or talk to foster parents like a bit of dirt, dirt, cause I would respect them, and try to start new and change the way I speak, whether its hell or not, I would just know to start off good and keep on the gbetter side of things, were as in the house I'm in now? Its impossible. No one listens and I always cry myself to sleep.



At 15 you probably aren't going to "get" foster parents. You will probably "get" a group home. Yes, if it's as bad as you say, by all means report the situation to a social services agency. They'll go from there.

If your mother moves and leaves you behind placement in a foster group home will be easy.

Is this your stepfather or your father?

gretchin155
Jul 18, 2012, 03:26 PM
You can speak about it to someone you trust preferably someone from your real father's family. Definitely they can understand you. From what you have written, I feel really sorry for you. You are old enough to face this. Someone at the age of 15 can easily face this. I am sure you will. Best of luck.

Thanks for your help, I did try speaking to someone, I use to have a social worker and I told her all my problems, even the time about my mum busting my lip, I tell her what my mums really like, others see my mum as a thoughtful person, but behind her true colours is an evil person, my dad hates her for what she does,she treats him like crap and he tells me the truth and she goes crazy at me and she was going to take it to court cause she didn't want me or my brother or sister speaking to him anymore, cause he was apparently mixing our heads when he wasn't, my mum was just mad that we were finding out stuff that she was lying about, my social worker brought this up with my mum and she denied the whole thing again and made me out to be a liar again then when she left she always roared at me for telling her, but I really didn't see what the problem was because that's what a social worker is there for :(

JudyKayTee
Jul 18, 2012, 03:31 PM
Thanks for your help, I did try speaking to someone, I use to have a social worker and I told her all my problems, even the time about my mum busting my lip, I tell her what my mums really like, others see my mum as a thoughtful person, but behind her true colours is an evil person, my dad hates her for what she does,she treats him like crap and he tells me the truth and she goes crazy at me and she was gonna take it to court cause she didn't want me or my brother or sister speaking to him anymore, cause he was apparently mixing our heads when he wasn't, my mum was just mad that we were finding out stuff that she was lieing about, my social worker brought this up with my mum and she denied the whole thing again and made me out to be a liar again then when she left she always roared at me for telling her, but I really didn't see what the problem was because that's what a social worker is there for :(


Then I would try another social worker AND I'd tell your father IN DETAIL what is going on.

Where is he in all of this? He can go back to Court and request a custody change. You're old enough to have an opinion - although the Court does not have to do what you want.

gretchin155
Jul 18, 2012, 03:32 PM
At 15 you probably aren't going to "get" foster parents. You will probably "get" a group home. Yes, if it's as bad as you say, by all means report the situation to a social services agency. They'll go from there.

If your mother moves and leaves you behind placement in a foster group home will be easy.

Is this your stepfather or your father?

My step father

gretchin155
Jul 18, 2012, 03:34 PM
Then I would try another social worker AND I'd tell your father IN DETAIL what is going on.

Where is he in all of this? He can go back to Court and request a custody change. You're old enough to have an opinion - although the Court does not have to do what you want.

He lives in england, he tries to ring my mum and everything but she just hangs up the phone on him,he tries his best to come over but isn't aloud as his work never gives him time off

JudyKayTee
Jul 18, 2012, 03:48 PM
He lives in england, he trys to ring my mum and everything but she just hangs up the phone on him,he trys his best to come over but isn't aloud as his work never gives him time off


Then write him a letter OR he can retain an Attorney (where are you?) from England. He certainly cannot think you're in a good situation.

What does he do about visitation?

smoothy
Jul 19, 2012, 01:49 PM
Yes you may think that mentioning not bein aloud to watch t.v is a stupid reason to be complaining, and I kno that myself but I am trying to make my point. He thinks he can boss me about like a rag doll when he can't. He has my mum rapped round his baby finger in other words he's got her doing and listening to what he says or does, were suppost to be moving to canada to, but I really don't want to nor do my sister or brother and my mums exact words were 'I don't care,ill go without yous' she's more less turning round and sayin look I don't give a crap about yous aslong as I have my husband. How do you think that makes me feel?I swear I always feel down in the dumps ever since she said tht, the only thing now that's going through my head is my mum doesn't seem to care about me, like what she said is more than enough proof, and as for you saying about it being my fault, yes me and my mum are both to blame its not always entirely my fault, and I wouldn't treat or talk to foster parents like a bit of dirt, dirt, cause I would respect them, and try to start new and change the way I speak, whether its hell or not, I would just know to start off good and keep on the gbetter side of things, were as in the house I'm in now? Its impossible. No one listens and I always cry myself to sleep.
You aren't making a point... you are making yourself look bad.. and self centered. Also, in fact... as long as you live under your parents roof and they support you, they can in fact tell you what to do... and when to do it. Like I said, I wasn't being mean to you. I was point out to you this is life... better you learn to accept
It now.. because this is exactly what the rest of your life is going to be like. Today its your parents... tomorrow it s your boss, and customers. NEVER inn your life are you going to get to do everything you want when you want to do it. I fact you will never have as much freedom as you do now.

gretchin155
Jul 19, 2012, 02:59 PM
Then write him a letter OR he can retain an Attorney (where are you?) from England. He certainly cannot think you're in a good situation.

What does he do about visitation?

Yess he visits but not alott, he would come couple of times a year, maybe more.