Ok, before you all get on the band wagon and tell me that I´m a home wrecker etc let me explain my particular situation.

I moved to another country a couple of years ago (I originally came from another moved to country with a girl where it didn´t work out) I was attending language classes in this new country where I met someone. One thing led to another and before we new it we winded up in bed together. She then told me that she was married. I admit that we carried it on for a few more weeks as I´ve never felt such a connection with a girl in my whole life.

We decided though that we should end it as it just was not right. She said she needed to try and make it work with him and so I said a sad goodbye and got over it. Now and again we would always say hi and that it was a shame it was bad timing and that we couldn´t find out what would´ve happened if we were both single.

Ok skip forward 8 months and we started talking/writing more and more, so much so that we arranged to meet to say hi which is when she told me that she was upset about her husband who she thought was cheating on her. She told me that its always been tough and that she has never related to him and was so sad to "drop" me 8 months before. She says that she still feels affection for him but is not in love with him anymore.

So, for a month just gone we ended up meeting and having the most wonderful time together.. we slept together 4 times and had the most passionate and intimate time. She told me that its getting impossible now to keep the closeness for two men as its not something she can do. She said that she's never cheated before but doesn't now feel guilty at all. The other day though she told me that he could sense something wrong and is now phoning and checking on her a lot. She cannot leave as 1, she can't afford it and 2, if he calls for divorce she will be kicked out of the country.

We have left it for a week but have arranged to meet again as we both admit that we miss each other way too much. We know its wrong and we know its dangerous but I think we are falling hard for each other. I know this situation sucks and someone if not all of us are going to get hurt when the hits the fan but if the feelings are that strong surely that can't be ignore.. I know, I know.. she should leave him first, but she is stuck. What the would you guys do? I need to walk away right...

Btw Her and her husband (apparently) has said that they wouldn´t have lived together or got married to start with when she moved over. She is (obviously) not happy. I´ve tried to give you this message in a nutshell but there is a lot more to this.. when we look at each other it's that feeling of just "knowing" that this is real for both of us. Thx for listening guys.. and don´t give me too much :-/

Firstly, how would you feel if that was your wife cheating on your like that.

Secondly, it's completely out of your control, you are not her and cannot control what she does. If she decides to leave her husband and seeks you out, I wish you both the best, but as of now there's nothing that can be done.

The least you can do is back off, you've done enough I think.

Indeed there is nothing that can be done now. She is bread and butter for his ego otherwise he would not have negleted her as he has done. Her love is lost for him and now he can suddenly feel her slipping away. This is tough for her and I give her a lot of space to breath and don´t demand anything. She´s going on holiday with him soon so were stealing a few ours together before to be close. I guess he´ll try and wine and dine her back into it or if not, it´ll just become clearer to them both that its just not working out.

Of course I´ve thought about how I would feel if this was being done to me but what can you do. My feelings are very real for this girl and in life that's rare to meet someone where you have such an electric connection off the bat. I cannot hope to build any future with her while the situation remains the same. Cheating is the worst thing anyone can do I know... God, I miss a "normal" life but feeling her close to me is like a slice of heaven right there.

My statement remains, back off and let her choose. That's all you can do.

The moment she told you she was married, should have been the last time you ever spoke to her, make this right by going away, go no contact, and move on with your life. Next time, respect someone's relationship. Until the divorce papers have gone through completely, she is off limits to you.

Well after the next time we won't see each other for a while which will give both of us time to think. Trust me, I´m not comfortable at all with this. Ultimatly she has to choose. I´ll try and put it out of my mind. Did that successfully before. Weird though that if she never met him then she would have never met me! Such is life.