I have been friends with a guy for over 2 years and recently I borrowed some money from him which I didn't pay back for a year and he didn't ask for, then around January time I sat down and calculated how much money I owed him (£500) and decided now's a good time to pay it back as he has been so patient and understanding, so while trying to find the right moment and minimise any awkwardness he started acting funny. He would say things like "Oh why don't you pay me back the money you owe me" out of the blue, and without reason, in a jokey tone. I found this weird and it got to the point it was humiliating me, little did he know that any day now I'd be paying back the full sum.

He kept dropping these kinds of snide little jokes and I confronted him saying look have your money back I don't want to talk to you.

Now we have been friends for a while and had our ups and downs so he should have been understanding, after that he took the money and walked away, we haven't spoken for around 4 weeks now and I really miss him, he was my rock through everything and whenever I try calling him to apologise he just shouts at me and swears. I don't know why he's acting like this and I feel so helpless, he's just changed now and used to respect me so much and be there for me.

How do I get him back? I really do miss him, I did make a mistake but that's because he was hurting me by saying all those things which he claimed were completely random.

He was probably bitter about you not paying the money back, a year is a long time and he was VERY understanding to let you take that long, most people would be hassling you after a month, so you have to respect him for that. His comments were unfair but he didn't know you were going to pay it back so to him to had just taken that amount of money of him and not mentioned it yourself, he may have felt rude if he brought it up himself.

Try calling him or seeing him, do all you can do and if it doesn't work then you have to accept he doesn't want to see you, and give him more time.

Good luck

Yes, he expected you to pay him back months ago, and what do you mean you waited for the "right time" the next time you saw him would have been the right time.

So at this point he does not think you even intended to pay him and he had to ask for it.

You did not act like a friend, you acted like a dead beat that he had to go after for his money.

I doubt you can get to be friends back with him, you treated him badly, he most likely was mad about it for months and finally got fed up and asked for the money.

You let him cool off for a while, then apologize.

You didn't pay him back, you took a LONG time to finally decide to pay him back, by which time his grace and patience was wearing thin and he started to make "jokes" (passive aggressive way to get you to pay up)...

You dropped the friend ball by then paying up and flouncing off "here, take your money, don't talk to me." as if you were the victim/slighted party. Really?

He didn't handle his way of asking in a great way, but you certainly are the one here who blew the relationship up by using him, not respecting his money and then dumping on him when you paid by storming out!! Very immature.

It's unlikely you're going to recover from your selfishness and lack of friendship -- so it's best to apologize, cut your losses and move on.

Don't push it, take your screw up and learn a lesson about timely repayment, and leave him alone. For now the friendship is ruined, and best not make it worse with unwanted apologizies.

Maybe he forgives you later, maybe he doesn't. Just don't push it anymore.