I recently met a guy on Okcupid.com. On our very first date, he stated that he is not like the other guys playing games with multiple girls. And I was confirmed with him that he has broke up with his ex. Both his ex and I are from Shanghai, but I have been in the states for almost 10 years and am a citizen. But according to him, his ex has visa issue and she wants to go back to Shanghai and asked him to go with her. But he did not want to, so that's the reason they broke up.

We had a several dates after. I asked if he just recently broke up, he said they broke up a couple of times and this one was final. And he told me he has not been seeing other girls after meeting me. His profile was still online, but he rarely logged on.

We have been seeing each other for a month and have been to each other's apartment. We had sex... He is very introverted, and did not like to talk anything besides his work and his dog. I asked what does he like to do, he said "nothing". So, it is difficult for me to figure out common interests between us. But he seems like a guy who is trustworthy. The strange thing is that he never called, emailed me after each date. But if I text him and ask him out, he responded and went out with me. I feel he is not completely over his ex.

Just a week ago, after our last date which we had sex in his apartment, he started ignore my text and phone call. I called him and he told me that his work is crazy right now and he is not into any relationship. I know it is an excuse. He has been frequently talking to the girl on Facebook, and shared his business link via her. She is a lot younger than him. I found that she has designed website ads for his business. I came to outside his apartment asking him to talk face to face, he admitted that he is interested in someone else and does not want to hurt me. And this is just happened recently. I think his ex went back to him, so he decided to stop seeing me again.

Maybe he is a good guy who can only see one girl at a time, but I was really hurt by him because I was serious. And I thought he was exclusive based on what he said, So it must be the ex wanted to get back and he was not over.

I don't know what to do. It is very painful to move on. But what else can I do? I really like him:(.

I think you assumed too much of this stranger, and blindly trusted him. Bad move, as was having sex so soon in my opinion, before he had proved his words actions matched and were sincere. You also ignored a HUGE red flag that should have made you VERY cautious.


He is very introverted, and did not like to talk anything besides his work and his dog. I asked what does he like to do, he said "nothing". So, it is difficult for me to figure out common interests between us. But he seems like a guy who is trustworthy. The strange thing is that he never called, emailed me after each date. But if I text him and ask him out, he responded and went out with me. I feel he is not completely over his ex.

This makes you a rebound, and probably so is the other girl at his job. Sorry, tis experiment failed, so don't beat yourself up about it, it was fun while it lasted, and with what this experience has taught you, do better with the next experiment.

Don't even think about this guy any more.