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Apr 23, 2012, 02:36 PM
I have just asked a girl to be my girlfriend and now we have been going out for about 2 months. We have admitted to each other that we have like each other since we first met 7 yrs ago. Well the story is I've started going out with her after not seeing her for a couple of months and I found out that she has gotten close to her brothers friend and they are always texting with kisses and calling each other babe and sweetheart, and he always starts the conversation off with 'can u talk'.
Also when ever her family plan to do something she always ask him before me or they might not ask me at all. And to make it worse he is going on holidays to Spain with her and her family but they haven't asked me. Maybe I am being over the top but I think that she liked me then because she didn't see me for a while she lost interest and then met her brothers friend and liked him. An then I saw her and asked her out, and she said yes, but really wants to be with him.
What should I do, its driving me crazy. I would rather her tell me she likes him, so she can be happy with him, and then I can carry on with my life and not waste it.
Apr 23, 2012, 03:17 PM
Why dont you do exactly that ? Walk away and see what happens.... You obviously dont feel involved as much as he is. Do you trust her ? Have you tried to talk to her about how you feel? Or have you asked her if she likes him ?
Apr 23, 2012, 03:44 PM
You should confront her. Tell her that you think she likes someone else. If she says she doesnt, trust her. If you dont she'll go for him instead of you. If she says she does, tell her you wont stop loving her and you'll be there when you need her. Weather your dating or not. Tell her exactly what you think...
Apr 23, 2012, 04:01 PM
It is super obvious, assuming what u said is true, that she likes that guy and is cheating on you and furthermore the fact that her family likes him more than you, makes her like him more. I think its time you show some self respect, leave the relationship, never talk to her again and move on with your life.
Apr 24, 2012, 07:35 AM
Thanks for the quick reply, also I forgot to mention that when ever he comes over her house while i'm there she totally forgets that i'm there and just talks and bothers with him. I have also just fond that she has pictures of him on her phone and PC of his face and other parts of his body like his bum and I asked her to delete them and she said she did but she still has them.
I am only asking and double checking to see if some else thinks that she is carrying on with him because I don't want to dump her and it turns out not to be true, because I love her very much and she says that she loves me as well.
Another thing that I forgot is that when she texts me in the night she always says shes going to bed cos she tired but when I look at her phone on the sneak she texts him until early hours in the morning after saying goodnight to me. and the other day she said she couldn't come over mine cos she felt sick and i couldn't text her cos she was going to rest but she spent the whole time texting him.
I know that I seem to be over thinking this but I wanna make sure that I ent going to waste time with her and not waste her time.
Apr 24, 2012, 08:45 AM
Tell her its not working out, but thanks for trying, and just leave her alone and do not respond to her at all, be it calls or texts. She will get the hint, by being totally ignored.
You don't have to wait for her to say it to your face because her actions speak louder than any words. How old are the both of you?
Apr 24, 2012, 09:27 AM
How many more signs do you need? It's obvious that she likes the other guy more. It's only been 2 months, move on and save yourself a lot of trouble.
I met a girl a couple months ago and we texted and talked for a good 3-4 weeks. She was flirty and said she liked me and called me her baby and all that jazz, said she loved talking to me and that she wanted me to be her bf. A couple of weeks ago though I noticed that whenever I would call her she was always "busy". Whenever she answered the phone she said that she would call me right back, but never did. This happened like 3-4 days straight. So I decided to be the one to not call or text her first because if she really wanted to call or text me she would. I deleted her number out of my phone just in case I got the urge to initiate contact first...haven't heard from her since and it's been 2 weeks now lol. To this day I have absolutely NO CLUE what she wanted from me.
Who knows why people play games with another person's emotions. I don't get it because I'm incredibly honest, but it is what it is. It's best for people to show signs of disinterest and dishonesty early in the relationship instead of later because it's easier to forget about them and move on. Just imagine how you would feel if your gf started to act like that a year into the relationship instead of a couple of months?
Apr 26, 2012, 12:13 PM
I think it is time to move on, she has other interests. Don't wait for her to say something, take the horn of the bull and end the relationship, no point in continuing something that both parties aren't interested in. And I wonder as to how you got all this information, if you are going through her things then lesson learned... respect your girlfriend's privacy next time.
Apr 29, 2012, 06:12 AM
heyy!! exactly same thing was happend with me.for you it is couple of month and for me it is 1 and half year.she loves someother guy from 1 and half year.so when i started talk with her i proposed in 10days..den she had to tell me atleast dat she is alrdy committed but she dint do that..and she never accepted my proposal but she always say i love to talk with you n frndshp..
Jul 9, 2012, 11:14 AM
Sorry for taking so long to answer. she left me on 7th July this year.
I tried multiple times to talk about it to her on the phone and in person and if we were on the phone she would just go silent and if i tried to talk to her in person she would just change the subject.
But when she text me saying that it wasn't working out, I replied saying that I loved her ana and I rang her and I ended up going down to her house. we talked for ages about all the problems that we been having and she didn't try to avoid it.
Then she said that we should just take a step back and start a fresh as best friends because we went from not seeing each other for months and then from just by seeing each other once we were together( Ive known her for 7 years and didn't see that often before we got together).
But then to top it off she said we will have to see how it goes and we can get to know each other better and she said that she still loves me, and I have asked her if it's just friend love or proper love and she said proper also she said that she thinks that we are closer than ever now. and since 'stepping back' a couple of days ago we have got on really well, ive been down her house all weekend and we talked loads about general stuff like what she been up to ana and she looks really happy plus she did say the night that she said the step back that she cried her self to sleep and that a bracelet that i bought her she said that she wore it to all of her exams for luck.
Its a bit awkward now tho the fact that we don't kiss and hold hands, i still do it by accident as i got used to doing it but she doesn't say nothing when i kissed her on the cheek and when we hugged we started crying.
So anyone got any thoughts on this, is she really telling the truth, does she really still love me and is there still a chance for me to be with her or is it just some crap that she fed me to let me down easy.
Any other details needed off me please post because i really need some help on this.
BTW she is 16 and i'm 17. I really love as she has really helped recover as my dad has not long died from huntington's and the last couple of years I have looked after him so i haven't had much of a social life plus i work 37hrs a week and college(just finished). I think of her every second that im awake and i will do anything for her and she did realize that very selfless as she said.
Thanks to everyone who has posted and will post.
Jul 9, 2012, 10:25 PM
Whatever happened to the other guy she was so interested in??
Jul 10, 2012, 01:41 AM
Hello, she still bothers with him and she just recons that they are only friends. but it would surprise me that they will get together, her mother is still treats me the same way as before tho cos i thought after this they would all be funny with me.
Also they are having a small house party , only a couple of people on friday and the the girl asked if i wanted to go and her and her mother asked if i wanted to sleep over with some of the boys ( that boy is sleeping down there aswell i think), not with the girl or anything.
Plus I work as a full time lifeguard in my local leisure centre and she was planning on getting a job there not because of me or anything but im applying for a new job this week and when i told her she said that she didn't want me to leave yet and that she wanted me to be there if she got a job there. I dont know why she said that but.
So I have giving you some more detail and i know most of you might say that theres plenty of fish in the sea and you will find the right girl but I love her to pieces and the thought of her being with someone else makes me feel miserable, I've cried loads of time over her and can hardly sleep.
Jul 10, 2012, 08:45 AM
I know the uncertainty, and high hopes are frustrating you. But I thinking you are way to attached to realize you have been demoted to the friend zone, and need to redirect your priorities, and focus off of being with her, to something else that benefits you greater than a very young female at this time.
She has the luxury of not needing direction, but you my friend do not. She can party and enjoy exploring her options, and opportunities, and be provided for, but you have a life to build, and are distracted from this by her.
Redirect your attentions, and actions, and get beyond the games of the heart, and onto more important things. Something tells me when you let go of this kid, amazing as she may be, and as attractive as you think she is, you will also see a clearer picture, and make better decisions for yourself.
Its only been a few days my friend, and your wounds are still open, and fresh, and as long as you are in contact with her, it will continue to hurt, unless you stop all contact with her. Its a simple concept after a break up, but an extremely hard thing to do, but very neccesary to start a process of recovery, and growth.
Sorry guy. I know you are too hurt to see reality, and I know its easier to hold on to false hope. Trust me. The easy way out is the most painful in the long run.
Jul 10, 2012, 01:51 PM
Thanks for you answer. TBH you are absolutely right. Ive talked about it with my mother and i know it sounds like i used her but when my dad died i was lost and had a big gap in my life as i spent all my time with him and doing everything for him and when i went out with her i thought she would fill the gap but i wasn't using her for that I generally liked her.
and everytime i see her now i feel more upset and it feels a bit more awkward ever time. so i will try that.
Thanks for the reply
Jul 10, 2012, 07:41 PM
Be grateful she got you thru the rough patch. Time to stand on your own now. No more emotional crutches.
Jul 10, 2012, 11:40 PM
just leave the whole situation
Aug 4, 2012, 10:04 AM
hello everyone again, i'd just thought i would give u all an update. its been a couple of weeks now and after the breakup we seen each other once or twice the week after and haven't really seen her since, she hasn't texted me or rung me since it and now she has a new boyfriend which is not the other boy i have been on about.
The strange thing it tho she has been coming to the leisure centre that i work at quite allot with her mother and before when we was together her and her mother said that they didn't like the one i worked in so they went to another one, and some of the other lifeguards have said that its strange as I've told them what happened. the first couple of time she came she just said hi and that's it, but this week she has only come once and when she was there she tried asking something about swimming but i was busy and then when she went out and got changed she came back out to say goodbye and she only used to to that when we was together, and the other lifeguard said it looked like she wanted to talk to u.
I still see her brother now and again and he recons that this new boy is just a rush and she wont be with him for long, i think he could be right cos he said that she wouldnt go with the other boy and he was right, i assume that he would be right tho has he has grown up with her so he knows her best.
ever since we broke up ive been really depressed and ive tried getting over it and trying to forget buts its impossible i just cant stop thinking about her and all the good times we had. she seems to have totally forgot about me and very quickly moved on and recovered.
I've even tried going out with other girls but I feel really guilty about it because I think that I will be cheating on her and being unfaithful.
I really want to text her or ring her but I've been reading around and they say you shouldn't, and now I don't feel right as she now has another boyfriend.
What can I do because I really still love her, I know there's plenty of fish in the sea but she really still means the world to me and I will do anything for her even if the worst happened I would still stand by her. I just want to go to her house and just grab hold of her and kiss her.
And I have realized what I have done because i've put it out as it being her fault but now i see that it was really mine and tbh from me now understanding the reason y it happened and the fact that she didnt go for that boy i really feel like an .
I think that it could work between us now as i have realised the reasons for splitting and understand and i would really love to have a second chance but i dont think i will ever get one no.
I really want to talk to her now and i dont know how to do it tho, is it right tho should i and im going to spain for 10 days so that will be without seeing her at all.
Aug 4, 2012, 10:25 AM
I hope the trip to Spain does you good, because seeing her around is whats keep hope alive, and feelings stirred up.
Do nothing but what you have been doing because this will take longer than a few weeks. The wound is still fresh but don't feel guilty about having fun with others. You are supposed too.
Aug 4, 2012, 01:37 PM
thanks for the quick reply. funny thing just after i posted this she came up my house with her mother to give me some BD cards cos its my BD tomorrow hence going to Spain.
It was hell of a shock, she didn't say much to me, her mother mostly talked to mine and then they left she give me a gentle tap on the arm and said your 18 now and they left.
TBH im quite happy that she came up just to see her but at the same time i felt awkward and wanted them to leave. but she seemed happy and she didn't seem interested in me anymore, plus i pretended to be happy while they was here so it didn't look like i was miserable, but i always look miserable even before i started to go out with her i don't know why but i do . Well NM well ill just have to work my self to death haha. and that's another problem I don't do anything besides work and that it so when i have some free time i just mope.
Aug 4, 2012, 06:15 PM
Free time is not for moping, its for enjoying. Plan on it.
Oct 19, 2012, 04:16 AM
Hello my girlfriend broke up with me about 5 days ago and very think you said has happened to me but it sounds like you have a chances in you really do love her go for it mate. i was with my girlfriend for 3 years and i found out she liked someone else it broke my hard watching them kiss and hold hands (they go to my college ) but as long as she was happy i am i think. What I'm tying to say is in you think this girl loves you why not try it will only play on your mind if you don't
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