I've been reading website after website on this subject and nothing is really clear.

My partner's ex is telling him she wants a divorce. They had provisionally reached a verbal agreement with regards to finances. He works over 15 hours a day (and weekends) on two full time jobs and some freelance stuff, and she works two days a week in an office. They agreed for her to pay the mortgage and him to pay maintenance for their child and all the bills/existing debts. It works out at him giving her around £1400 pcm and her paying out around £350.

She's been very difficult since they split, restricting access to his son, cancelling agreed visits, constantly texting my partner bouncing between telling him how worthless and pathetic he is and begging him to come back. She was violent and emotionally abusive during their marriage, and even I had to take out a harassment warning against her because she decided to bombard me and people I work with texts/phonecalls etc after we started dating.

Now she's had an about face and said she's going to be "ruthless" and "take him for everything he's got". Can anybody tell me what she's actually entitled to? He's more than happy to pay child support, and contribute to their mutual bills/debts etc, but does he actually owe his ex anything? She's worked two days a week throughout their marriage and could easily up her hours now, but she's refusing to do so and saying he has to maintain her lifestyle.

Apropos to nothing, we also found out she had an affair whilst they were married. Would this information be useful to a solicitor if she is trying to stake a claim in 70% of his earnings?

Any information would be greatly appreciated. He has an appointment with a solicitor but is concerned that if he has to go through the courts (which he is already having to do to get access to his child) the money he can afford to put towards his child's wellbeing will be depleted.

I'm not in the UK so anything I learn is from research. If it's anything like the US (and I have to believe that some common sense prevails... sometimes) there is inequity in her working 2 days a week and him working 15 hours a day plus freelancing. How long have they been married? How old is the child?

You say she was having an affair while they were married. He is your partner now. Are they still married or legally separated? If not you both had affairs while you were/are married. But, no, moral conduct has nothing to do with child and spousal support.

Matrimonial actions, unfortunately, are very expensive in most cases, particularly when the parties are not in agreement. The "... toward the child's wellbeing" is VERY well said.

I think he has to look at the money he will need to pay an Attorney is money which he does not have to pay his wife. Do you know what I mean?

Thank you for your support. He is still married technically, although separated, and divorce proceedings are going through. They were married for 19 years and the child is 11.

He has an appointment with a solicitor tomorrow.

Please come back and let me know how this plays out - I'm always "surprised" by the number of ways US and UK laws are the same... and the ways they are different.