Mar 2, 2012, 07:48 AM
I have been with my husband for almost 14 years, married for 5 years. He has cheated with random girls multiple times over the years. It has always been like a one night stand type of situation, no side relationship but regardless a definite trust-breaker. In 2010 we lost our second child and he was out of the home for 15 months. In those 15 months, I cheated with one guy, but multiple times. We were technically still married, but not "together". One of his incidents was oral sex received from my "bestfriend", needless to say who is no longer a friend. I thought that was the worst ever to cross that line on top of cheating. My self esteem with him is ruined because he has always cheated with girls that are not so pretty so it's really nothing I can compete with. I feel I am setting myself up for failure because it continuously happens and even after a BIG second chance and surviving the loss of a child, he takes our family for granted. I confessed to my mistake before he found out and he was ENRAGED! He says this time the reason he cheated was because he never forgave me but seems sorry but I don't know if that's just a ploy to make me feel sorry because I insisted this is where I draw the line and want a divorce... He has always come to me with his confession, although I do snoop in his stuff, I have never found hard evidence and would have never known without him telling me. We also have an 8 year old son and a son on the way, due in 5 weeks! Not only do I not want my children to grow up in a broken home, but boys need their father and he's GREAT dad, just not so great of a husband at times. I also understand that it's sometimes better to be from a broken home than from an unhappy home... I need advice and outside opinions please! I don't want to be the dumb, unhappy, insecure wife forever, can we get past this or do you think he will continue to screw around?