Okay, So I was born in Florida in 1994 and my adoption was cloed yet my birth mother sent me a few photos of her from the 1970s-1990s and a letter with her full name on it. I found her on Facebook I think but I'm too scared to contact her because she does not no my name because of the Closed adoption. The letter she wrote was to me but yet not knowing my name the Company that was using the adoptions thing sent it with her words. Am I allowed to email her and ask her if she had a son in 1994?

No one can stop you. You have a right to know your birth mother and to be able to ask questions and get answers. Went they the same thing with my dad. Minus the adoption agency. But you do have rights!

Okay, So I was born in Tampa Florida in 1994 in the fall, and my adoption was closed yet my birth mother sent me a few photos of her from the 1970s-1990s and a letter with her full name on it. I found her on Facebook I think but I'm too scared to contact her because she does not know my name because of the closed adoption. The letter she wrote was to me but yet not knowing my name the Company that was using the adoptions thing sent it with her words. I really just want to talk to her. I have a lot in common with her I myself am into rock n' roll like her and play the piano and some guitar and can sing. As well I enjoy art and I paint and draw graphics really well. Am I allowed to email her and ask her if she had a son in 1994?

I think you should absolutely email her... I don't think she would send you photos or anything with her full name on it if she didn't want to be found.that was obviously her only way of reaching out to you.I think it is an amazing gift to find your birth parents. I found my birth mother when I was 27 after 13 years of search and now have an amazing relationship with her and her children. EMAIL HER... I think you will regret it if you don't

Yes

Have you discussed this with your parents? You adoption may have been closed for a very good reason and it may not be a good idea to contact her.

J 9 she just didn't have the money at the time to take care of me she was just in the middle of college

Meeting your birth mother is not always a wonderful experience like Lovelove22 said above. Sometimes it is a very emotional and heartbreaking experience. My sister-in-law went through the heartbreaking experience.

It is quite possible she has moved on with her life and you are not part of that new life. Considering you are only, what 17? it would be best to talk this over with your parents and get their blessing first.

Thanks J9 I bet your right she never even said anything about having a son nor anything about the 1990s on any of her info on fb nor on any other website of hers.

I understand your desire as my husband's entire family was adopted, but you have to remember that she has moved on now. Your parents are the ones who have raised you, remember that.

Have you discussed this with your parents? You adoption may have been closed for a very good reason and it may not be a good idea to contact her. I don't understand the disagree on this thread. There are children birthed every day who are taken away from their mother's for many reasons. Some voluntarily, others court ordered... drug abuse when the drugs are found in the infant's system for example.

Just wanted to find out who I really am

Just wanted to find out who I really am

You are the person your parents have raised you to be. Nothing more, nothing less.

First, unless you are over 18 you should NOT do anything. Until you are you may be violating some law since it was a closed adoption.

Second, did the letters she sent indicate any desire to contact you in the future?

Third, what do you parents say about this? If you haven't told them then you NEED to right away. You can hurt them badly by doing this behind their backs. As J_9 said, you are the person your parents raised you to be. This woman gave birth to you. By your account she did what she thought best for you by giving you up for adoption. But she is related to you only by birth, she is not your parent.

Once you have turned 18, however, I would contact her privately and let her know you are willing to have contact. If she doesn't respond or refuses contact, then you drop it.

I am a birthmother, and I've worked with other birthmothers for 20 years now.

You NEED to talk to your adoptive parents before doing ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY if you are under 18.

You ALSO need to get some counseling BEFORE you jump into it.

I had a semi-open adoption and left a letter and some pictures with the adoption agency for my daughter when she was born, but have had no direct contact with her through the years. I am in contact at least once a year with her adoptive mother, though--maybe that is the case with you?

In any case, you have NO IDEA how much of a can of worms you might be opening by contacting her. You might break open any healing she has done. You might mess up her current relationship or marriage because she may not have told anyone about the adoption. You may cause problems with any other children she has now. You just cannot predict how you will affect her current life.

The BEST way for you to reach out is NOT through Facebook--it is through the adoption agency used. This way, if she wants to contact you as well, she can respond--and if she does NOT want contact at this time, she can remain anonymous to you.

You need to do this WITH your adoptive parents, and you need to do it the right way to protect both yourself and your birthmother.

In the letter she told me someday we could meet back up and she gave me her full name and a ton of photos

That's a good sing, but how long ago was that letter written?

You still should not be doing this without your parents involvement and until you are 18. If she is willing she will have left word with the adoption agency to find her.