Me with my boyfriend dating for almost 5years. We come from different country which are very far from each other.He is my first love.We met in my country when he was working here and I was just an university student. He is 8years older than me.He told me he fall in love with me because I had very very pure love and never ask physical things.He did treat me very well tolerate me a lot and act like a dad. After one year he told my dad he wanted to engage me. But my parents against us saying he is not stable as a foreigner,also he has no money to build a family with me in my country.There is no guarantee for me.They say I can not go with him to his country because I won't have any friends or relatives in his country and his country is almost 10years backward as my city, from appearance(I can not say it because each city has it's own advantages and disadvantages).He promised my dad he will work hard and buy a house in my city(which is very very expensive).THe second year he created his own business but failed.He spent all his money on it. He is a very hard working man this factor I really love and admire... During the 5 years.We have fight a lot. The main reason is because my parents don't allow us,it make me a lot of pressure so I always letout to him. Also at the 2nd year I figure out he had cheated me(looking for whore,chat with girls with webcam, flirt and MAYBE one night stand) when he worked in another city without me during our first year.I got crazy ,I maltreated him a lot.I did a lot of bad things to make him remember his fault.but I didn't leave him I still love him very deeply.After one year(the third year), he started to against me. Don't allow me to maltreat him.(beat him in public ask him to do whatever I want).I thought its enough to punish him and also want to keep him with me,so I agree to make love since the 3rd year(my first time).So he is my first man.I do love him.But I felt so unsecure. I'm afraid losing him.I only ask his love and attention.but I didn't give him so much understand.The 4th year he said he wants to go back his country to look for the opportunity about business.Ask me go with him stay one year(me study language he work).My parents didn't agree.they said 1year is too long for stay together without marriage.. I can only go for one month to visit his country,and my mom went with me.We spent 1month there and then saperate cause he wasn't intimate with me,didn't comfort me and follow me when I get upset as he always do in my city in front of our parents.then he told me we won't have future because I don't like his country also our future kids should study in his country and I'm only child my parents won't never allow me go with him.I agreed.THen I left his country.I spend there 20days.After six months,he came back to me saying he wants to marry me and buy a house in my city.I accepted him again.I still love him even he didn't want to talk to me during six months.(I beg him to come back).now he has worked for 5month here in another city(he can not find job in my city).he come to my rent place each weekends(I move out cause I hate my parents for against us)but again.he said saperate because its not realistic for me go with him anywhere and he can not stay here if he lose his job(my country policy for foreigners).he felt unsecure and unstable.he said he wanted to leave.and he won't marry me.won't buy a house because he doesn't want to pay the loan all his life also he said I only want his money(he has a good job but no so much money!),he said if he don't buy a house I won't marry him.the fact is he didn't have money,I still be with him for 5years.even he told me 5years relationship is not so long... he always said he has sacrifice too much(he come my country from his just for me.he spent all his money just thinking to make more money and buy a house here,etc).I realise since he came back to me things changed,he doesn't touch me oftenly(sex).he shows tired and unhappy to me.no tolerate as before.despise my place is not good because I share apartment with others(its cheap),I don't earn so much money with my full time job but its stable.so I sing in restaurant as part time job at night.Everyday I felt tired can not sleep enough but I need support myself.. He doesn't like he think the singing environment is very bad.I can become a bad girl.. etc.10days ago.he told me he didn't feel happy cause his colleagues are fired,he said he will leave if his boss fire him.I felt so hurt when I hear that because he said he won't take me with him because my parents don't agree.. etc.We stop talk and the next night I stay very late in my part time singing place chatting with staffs spending time.He called me but I didn't see then call back cheated him I was at home I just don't want make him upset with me I know he don't like that place,usually I just finish singing then go home.He figure out I cheated him so hang up.I didn't call back because I also very upset for he saying he will leave me if he be fired.after 4days I call him but he hang up, since the last year, most of the time after we fight, I'm the person beg him back to me. Then he sent a sms to me saying separate.I agreed.I felt very very sad and I cried a lot.But this time I don't want beg him. Don't want to take a train to his city knock his door again. I know I did a lot of things hurt him before.But now I can feel he changed.before we go his country he had deposit all his money in my bank account to show his sincere and make me feel secure(after I go back my country I keep 4000USD with me,I didn't return to him cause I angry with he abandon me,angry with his promise will be with me forever will give me a result also I quit my job before go with him).now he said I just want his money.I feel bad,I think there are 70%responsibility is from me.I didn't treat him good.I didn't take my responsibility to convince my parents in a good way. I didn't tell
Him OK I will give up everything just go with you anywhere,with no garentee,I didn't tell him I will go with him to his country and live there.I didn't tell him OK I would like to cut relationship with my parents just go with you.marry you.I didn't. Seems I didn't do anything for him... I didn't even love him in the way he likes... I didn't give him space,didn't give him courage.I'm childish,needy,clingy,selfish... but I just want a stable family.I want to marry him.I want him do something to show my parents he can give me a good future not just invite them for some dinner or buy gifts to make them happy or promise things never make true.. I don't know what to do now. He stop talk to me. He is so cruel.I don't know what he want. Why he come back to me after 6 months?he has ever loved me? His words are out of angry or he means them?what can I do to make him back? Please help me!

My boyfriend and me dating for 5years, he is my first love and first man.I love him so much but we have too many blocks.I come from China he comes from Peru.My parents against us for he has no money and he is not stable as a foreigner.During our 5years he was mainly loyal in mental but few time betray me with looking for whore and flirt with webcam or one night stand,we don't live together so he always saying he do it just for fun he felt boring and lonely.That broke my heart but he beg me stay and treat me better.I tried to punish him but finally I realise I loved him more and more deeply.His family doesn't like me after they see me.because I'm too childish and don't know any better.We have saperate for six months then be back together again.after that he always find fault with me and I always call him to say sorry and beg him back to me.After We be together again I realise he has changed,he doesn't have intimation with me.doesn't want spend money with me,doesn't like go out with me,don't talk about future,always say he feel stress with his work,he has no money to marry me.He said he only consider me as girlfriend,not wife,said he wants to spend more time to know me.Said he will leave my country if he has no job here,without me... of course I also did many bad things.After I figure out he betray me,I maltreated him,punished him.I kept his money 4000usd after he abandoned me which is his one month salary.. I asked him to buy house with me then get marry.I don't agree to go his country to live(im only child my parents won't allow,me have no problem as long as he loves me),my job is so so with no much money,I have a part time job singing in bar believe I'm a clean girl will never become bad in that bad environment,I didn't dare to face my parents to accept him,I just left home to show I want to be with him.. etc.now he wants to leave me,he doesn't talk to me at all no matter how I try to contact him.I just want him back to me.I'm confuse about our future but I want to work it out.I'm thinking to compromise everything,I can give up everything I have in my country. Go with him to his country and have a live there.His bad words are just from angry or he means it? He really wants to leave me of he just want to educate my behavor?I'm a childish,needy,clingy and selfish girl.I need a lot of love from a man.I need his top priority for me.his full attention with me.I'm not independent in mental even I'm independent in finance.I don't know what to do.I will get unsane if I keep thinking on this.I miss him so much.I didn't talk to him for 15days already... I want to know if he loves me,and how to make him love me again...