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View Full Version : My mother threatened to put me up for adoption and I'm 16 years old


mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 11:22 AM
I am a 16 year old girl that has always had problems with my mother.My father left and my mom got a boyfriend and now she is married to him. I am like like my mothers stress reliever, everyday she comes home she starts arguing with me and she never fails in hurting my feelings by saying hurtful things.recently we got into this colosal argument about me procrastinating about my volenteer hours and from then on we have stopped talking. Then one day I took my brother to the library without telling anyone and I also took him to burger king for lunch and when I came home she threatened to put me up for adoption right after she said that she was beginning to dislike me, when she said this I didn't even start crying and I actually went on the internet to llok up families willing to adopt a 16 year old because I heard that it was hard for a teen to get adopted.

tickle
Apr 4, 2011, 11:32 AM
Yes, mylife, it is difficult to find adoption for a teen. You can only believe they are empty threats. She probably wouldn't take the time to start the whole process of adoption, and I don't think she will get anywhere anyway.

All things pass. Is she under a lot of stress lately for any particular reason ?

Tick

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 11:33 AM
It's a horrible feeling to think you are not loved.

But what immediately caught my eye was your saying you took your little brother to the library and BK without telling anyone. Does your mother think you are trying to be too grown up and that's why she's on your case?

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 11:35 AM
Yes she is but its like everyone says that I'm the one causing her to be stressed

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 11:38 AM
My grandfather drove me there so actually someone did know where I was going

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 11:40 AM
Does your mom like to know where you are and where your little brother is, even if you two are out with Grandpa? I sure would. I'm thinking she's thinking "irresponsible"? Are there other things like that (like the procrastinating), and she has gotten upset?

tickle
Apr 4, 2011, 11:41 AM
Hi again mylyfe, can you please use the 'reply' feature when you want to reply to us. It is much easier and more comprehensive for us to use as well.

Who is 'everyone' telling you that you are the reason she is stressed? You seem to be a pretty decent kid from what I see in your posts. You are almost an adult, give or take a few years, maybe that is what is worrying her, losing you and she can't handle it and her reaction is completely the opposite. When was the last time you two had a loving mom/daughter conversation ? Can you try and sit down and sort this out with you being the initiator?

Tick

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 11:50 AM
I'm sorry tickle I could not find the reply feature I'm sure that that is one of the problems and that mother/daughter thing that your referring to is unheard of between my mother and I

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 11:52 AM
I admit that it was a little irresponsible but the adoption thing and talking about my father in a negative way is uncalled for to me.

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 11:52 AM
The reply thing is the Answer box below the most recent post.

Are you angry that your mom left your dad and married this other guy?

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 11:57 AM
I am furious he left when I was about 2 years old and I don't remember much about him I don't even know why he left

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 12:03 PM
i am furious he left when i was about 2 years old and i dont remember much about him i dont even know why he left
Thanks for finding the Answer box!! Yay!!

It must really hurt, then, when your mom disses him or says bad things about him to you -- and you definitely lose respect for her.

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 12:25 PM
To be honest with you I'm slowely losing respect for almost everyone around me I feel so alone all my family is on my mothers side and they all blame me.

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 12:38 PM
to be honest with you im slowely losing respect for almost everyone around me i feel so alone all my family is on my mothers side and they all blame me.
I'm sorry to hear that! Blame you for what? Weren't you very small when your parents' marriage ended?

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 12:45 PM
They were not married and they blame me for my mom being stressed out.

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 12:47 PM
Her being stressed out now? Do they give examples for why she is stressed, like, you don't help around the house or you talk back to her?

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 12:58 PM
I can't talk back to her and I try my best to stay out of her way

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 01:07 PM
So what's supposedly stressing her about you?

And just between you and me, what do YOU think the external thing is that is stressing her? Or does a lot of her stress come from inside her, that she's creating her own misery?

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 01:11 PM
To me I think she stresses herself out by overreacting about stupid stuff and probably at work and when she comes home all that balled up anger is released on me

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 01:17 PM
Since you've known her all your life :) and seem really good at figuring her out, what do you think would improve her mood, say, when she comes home from work? Is there something you could do to sweeten her life then?

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 01:19 PM
And I think that's the problem I don't care much for her feelings since she has raptured mine

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 01:22 PM
True, but since you still live there with her, why not decide to try to improve HER life somehow, even in a small way, because that will improve YOUR life if she's in a better mood.

Does she hope you will have dinner started, the table set, your little brother in a good mood because you have played with him or read to him?

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 01:25 PM
No she does not

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 01:27 PM
Do you know how to improve her mood when she comes home?

mylyfe
Apr 4, 2011, 01:31 PM
I don't really try to I just avoid her

Wondergirl
Apr 4, 2011, 01:36 PM
You're really angry, aren't you.

tickle
Apr 4, 2011, 03:49 PM
Yes, I get that from the OP. She is really angry and not willing to compromise, but that is what being l6 is all about. OP is following normal patterns, but in her situation is is far more difficult because there is something here that is behind the scenes that is not being talked about.

I can almost see OP's face when WW asks her questions about the situation at home; so OP, and I am sorry I am being clinical here, has to open up about what the major issue is.

Until then, there is nothing left to be said, because WW and OP are going around in circles.

Just my opinion from observations between all posts (comments) whatever and to be quite frank, this conversation can't go along until OP divulges to us what the real problem is. And I think I know what it is.

Tick

JudyKayTee
Apr 6, 2011, 10:05 AM
It's anger. My guess is that the stepfather is now taking up part of the mother's life, the child is rebelling, the situation is imploding. Mom is out of patience; daughter is out of patients; family is involved.

I wonder if the children have the same father - ?

tickle
Apr 6, 2011, 12:10 PM
It's anger. My guess is that the stepfather is now taking up part of the mother's life, the child is rebelling, the situation is imploding. Mom is out of patience; daughter is out of patients; family is involved.

I wonder if the children have the same father - ?

Judy, this is not what I imagined at all; I was thinking more along the lines of mom being jealous of her daughter around her stepfather. Perhaps the step father has been giving the daughter some attention.

Perhaps the OP hasn't recognized this attention is being unwarranted affection, but mom has, therefore, it is now a problem of two women and one man in the household.

Tick

JudyKayTee
Apr 6, 2011, 12:38 PM
Judy, this is not what I imagined at all; I was thinking more along the lines of mom being jealous of her daughter around her stepfather. Perhaps the step father has been giving the daughter some attention.

Perhaps the OP hasnt recognized this attention is being unwarranted affection, but mom has, therefore, it is now a problem of two women and one man in the household.

tick


Could be - I'm thinking one mom, two focuses.

Hope OP comes back - to answer questions AND let us know how she is coping.