At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
- Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
- Accept money for answers that you provide.
- Communicate privately with other members (PM).
- See fewer ads.
Mar 15, 2011, 12:37 PM
I have a friend I have lived with for 5 years we started out as roommates and ended up as boyfriend well we act as boyfriend and girlfriend but he won't give me the title so every once in a while he goes out with the "boys" and is gone for a day or two I really love him but I can't take it anymore do I give him an ultimatum or just put him out because if I'm going to put in the work and time and love any longher I need the title as well
Mar 15, 2011, 12:54 PM
Have you been a 'couple' for the better part of the five years?
If he can't commit,it seems he's just using you as a convenient sleeping partner.
Time to tell him you've had enough.
Mar 15, 2011, 01:01 PM
Yes we have been a couple for the majority of the 5 years. So do you think I should give him an ultimatium or just give him an eviction notice?
I have recently lost 45lbs and everyone notices' but my boyfriend I get compliments,comments and encouragemen from everyone but him should I be upset? I am....
Mar 15, 2011, 01:06 PM
Have you tried discussing this with him?
I'm betting you have and nothing changed,right?
If you feel you've given him enough chances,and you're still on square one-I'd close the book.
Mar 15, 2011, 01:18 PM
Yes I have tried talking to him and we are still on the same wheel spinning lol. He acknowledges what I say acts as if he's going to change for a little while and then right back to the same old thing. I think I know what I have to do- let him go. I'm just kind of scared, 1.) I purchased my home 6 years ago and the neighborhood has gone waaaaaaaaaay down hill and we have a high crime rate so its kind of good to have a male in the home. 2.) I'm a home body and kind of scared to reenter the dating scene.
Mar 15, 2011, 01:23 PM
I feel you've made your mind up to give him his marching orders,so do it.
Could you get a dog?
Or get a proper housemate?
Don't worry about the dating scene,once you're over the breakup,these things will sort themselves out-they usually do!
Mar 15, 2011, 01:29 PM
You are right,guess I can get me a dog I'm sure he will be more loyal lol! Thanks for listening and the advise
Mar 15, 2011, 01:32 PM
Evict him and get a room mate that shares half the responsibility.
1.) I purchased my home 6 years ago and the neighborhood has gone waaaaaaaaaay down hill and we have a high crime rate so its kind of good to have a male in the home. 2.) I'm a home body and kind of scared to reenter the dating scene.
These are not good reason to share a bed, and home with a guy who doesn't make you happy. Does he at least pay rent? If he does, tell him where his bedroom is, and you stay out of it, and ease into dating, as you regroup, and build a life that you enjoy, with friends, and activities you look forward to without him. Then you will make yourself happy, and for sure someone will notice, and want to share your happiness with you.
Mar 15, 2011, 01:33 PM
Good luck with everything and I hope you find a fabolous puppy!
Mar 15, 2011, 01:36 PM
You do not give ultimatums unless you are going to follow through with any and all consequences.
Every so often having time away with friends can be seen as a good thing. You should do the same thing with your friends. Every couple needs some down time to keep from burning out in the relationship. Being able to vent and just goof off with people other than your partner can help keep you more stable.
If you have talked to him, what reason does he give for not making your relationship official? Has he said what he needs in the relationship? Have the two of you tried to find a compromise so that neither of you are doing all of the giving or taking?
Mar 15, 2011, 01:41 PM
I hope you are not seriously thinking about getting a puppy without looking into everything that it takes to keep and raise one. Like boyfriends, you should do some research before you end up with larger problems.
If you do seriously consider getting a dog, our pet/dog experts will be very happy to help you think about one that would suit your lifestyle and discuss the needs of puppies and dogs in general as well as specific breeds.
Mar 15, 2011, 01:43 PM
I don't mind him going out with the fellas its all the lying about it says he's doing one thing and its another no need to lie he knows that. His excuse is everythiing is going fine the way it is. I am trying to compromise but not given much wiggle room, and I don't feel like I am asking too much with my commitment as his girlfriend all I want is to know that he is not sleeping with other women or men lol.
Mar 15, 2011, 01:46 PM
I actually spoke with his mother about this last week she advised me to sit down and talk with him but don't give him an ultimatum well we have sat down and talked about it time and time again. I'm not getting what I need but he is out of the relationship
Mar 15, 2011, 01:47 PM
Honey I was just joking I don't do dogs!
Mar 15, 2011, 02:02 PM
Ah, lying is a completely different matter. If he can't be honest about what he is doing and habitually says one thing and does another, then he has used up his 'strikes' and any understanding and trust he might have earned.
Check your local housing laws on evicting a renter/boarder. If you own the house, he probably isn't considered a roommate. He is probably a boarder or renter depending on your original agreement.
Once you know where you stand legally, you can decide just how to get rid of him. I suggest trying to be as friendly about it as you can. After five years, I am certain that you have bills and other items that will need to be sorted out.
As for getting back into dating, wait on that concept. Work on getting involved in things that you enjoy and will help encourage you to take care of yourself at a time when you might not feel like doing anything. It can help you meet new people who might become new friends. Catch up with friendships you might have let slip a bit.
Congratulations on the weight loss. Good luck on getting rid of the dead weight.
(I am glad you were joking. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't.)
Copyright ©2005-, Ask Me Help Desk