You will probably still want to file as Married Filing Jointly (MFJ) for your federal return. As for the state returns:
1. For Ohio, you must file as MFJ if you file your federal as MFJ, and report all income (including yours). But you use Schedule D to take a credit for any non-OH source income (namely your wages). See instructions on page 15:
http://tax.ohio.gov/documents/forms/ohio_individual/individual/2010/PIT_IT1040_Instructions.pdf
2. For Iowa, you can file status 3 or 4, but you also need to report all income, aportioned between you and your wife. Take a credit for taxes on your wife's non-IA source income using form IA 126.
Don't be put off by having to report all your joint income to both states - because of the credits you end up paying taxes to each state only on the income attributable to that state.