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View Full Version : How can a mother get custody back after the father has lied to get the custody



confussedcin
Feb 19, 2011, 09:51 AM
I know a mother that has a back problem and subsequently got addicted
To prescription pain killers. On her own she and to the best of her
Knowledge having the support of her husband she went to rehabilitation
At Mountain Manor. A few weeks after returning home from treatment her
Husband left with the two children and went to his mothers home a few
Blocks away. He filed false allegation about the mother in order to
Obtain temporary custody. The fathers mother use to run a daycare out
Of her home and her license has been taken away due to abuse/neglect.
There are a few concerns that the mother has with this arrangement
Including the fact that the children now hit one another which never
Happened before going to the grandmothers to live.

The mother feels the children should not have been taken out of the
Home and custody should have never been a issue because throughout
This journey with the back problem/pain killers she has tried to do
Everything right. She identified the addiction and looked for help and
Support. Yet her husband was able to take the children from the only
Home the children have ever known and he was able to take her rights
As well as the children's rights away from her and the children to
Even see one another.

After fighting for nine months the mother has the right to see the
Children unsupervised for a few hours a week. She has an attorney but
Is still confused about why her husband had the right to take the
Children and continues to have the right to keep them away from her.
She voluntarily takes drug tests every week to keep proving that she
Is well and she can not understand how to get this problem under
Control. It seem to me that the attoney is not giving her any
Direction or hope as to what she should be doing. Can you give me any
Insight on what she should be doing or what she can do to fix this
Problem?

I am deeply concerned about not being able to direct this mother to
The resourses that can help her to correct the injustice that is going
On with her and the children?

JudyKayTee
Feb 19, 2011, 11:04 AM
What is your relationship to these people? Is your information 100% correct?

There had to have been a Hearing of some sort for the children to be taken out of the home... or else she would simply go and get them back.

The person to ask what is going on is the Attorney who is familiar with the circumstances.

GV70
Feb 19, 2011, 11:06 AM
I know a mother that has a back problem and subsequently got addicted
to prescription pain killers. On her own she and to the best of her
knowledge having the support of her husband she went to rehabilitation
at Mountain Manor.
To my knowledge Mountain Manor provides detoxification services and it is a drug rehabilitation center .What kind of pain killers did she take? Morphine?


Is your information 100% correct?
I think NO!

confussedcin
Feb 19, 2011, 11:19 AM
What is your relationship to these people? Is your information 100% correct?

There had to have been a Hearing of some sort for the children to be taken out of the home ... or else she would simply go and get them back.

The person to ask what is going on is the Attorney who is familiar with the circumstances.

Sounds like I need her to get on this website as I can not answer your question about the information being 100%. I do know that there was a hearing but like I said her husband lied and she has proof of that lie. I just don't get it... I will direct her to this site and hope that someone can give a helping hand.

GV70
Feb 19, 2011, 11:36 AM
The mother feels the children should not have been taken out of the
home ...... and I feel my salary has to be tripled.:cool::cool:


and custody should have never been a issue because throughout
this journey with the back problem/pain killers she has tried to do
everything right.She has an attorney but
is still confused about why her husband had the right to take the
children and continues to have the right to keep them away from her.
I have been dealing with children at risk for more than 20 years.Sorry but I cannot accept the axiom "Good drug addicted Mom against evil father".Do not forget that in some states drug addiction is a factor for permanent termination of the parental rights.I do not know a state where it is presumed that if a parent is on rehabilitation ,that parent automatically will be designated as the primary custodian.

JudyKayTee
Feb 19, 2011, 02:02 PM
I have to agree - mother is an addict, father is a liar who filed false allegations. Apparently an investigation found the false allegations to be (somewhat) true because the children were removed.

This is the "I'm bad but you're worse" defense.

confussedcin
Feb 19, 2011, 04:06 PM
I have to agree - mother is an addict, father is a liar who filed false allegations. Apparently an investigation found the false allegations to be (somewhat) true because the children were removed.

This is the "I'm bad but you're worse" defense.

I guess I did not make it clear so let me clarify a little bit; the mother has proof that the father lied she is putting herself through weekly testing to prove that she is clean. She completed the rehab and the drug use was due to some doctors idea that she could handle all the drugs he was giving to her. She realized that she could not go without the drugs and with her husbands support "so she thought" checked herself into a rehab. Come to find out the husband has been seeing another woman for over a year and used this "opportunity" to take her down when she was not expecting anything.

confussedcin
Feb 19, 2011, 04:08 PM
I guess I did not make it clear so let me clarify a little bit; the mother has proof that the father lied she is putting herself through weekly testing to prove that she is clean. She completed the rehab and the drug use was due to some doctors idea that she could handle all the drugs he was giving to her. She realized that she could not go without the drugs and with her husbands support "so she thought" checked herself into a rehab. Come to find out the husband has been seeing another woman for over a year and used this "opportunity" to take her down when she was not expecting anything.

The children were never remove he took them and kept them with the use of lies.

Fr_Chuck
Feb 19, 2011, 05:30 PM
This is the issue, when the father got "temporary" custody that is all it is, temporary, pending hearings. Of course she should have know of that hearing and appeared to defend herself, If he lied, all she needed to do was PROVE they were lies, since of course if he could not prove his lies, the court would not have really honored those statements too much.

So I would assume she is working on the final hearing for a final custody order.

What bothers me is that she only gets a few hours to visit, there has to be proof that she is some danger to the children not to be allowed more visit time

confussedcin
Feb 20, 2011, 03:56 AM
This is the issue, when the father got "temporary" custody that is all it is, temporary, pending hearings. Of course she should have know of that hearing and appeared to defend herself, If he lied, all she needed to do was PROVE they were lies, since of course if he could not prove his lies, the court would not have really honored those statements to much.

So I would assume she is working on the final hearing for a final custody order.

What bothers me is that she only gets a few hours to visit, there has to be proof that she is some danger to the children not to be allowed more visit time

Yes I appreciate your comment and I sent her the link to this "ASK ME HELP DESK"

JudyKayTee
Feb 20, 2011, 07:06 AM
This entire scenario (I have avoided the use of the word "story") is either missing details or details have been changed. It just doesn't make sense.

This isn't simply a change in custody.

Somebody proved something. In MY area rehab CAN cause you to lose your children. It's a two edged sword - either GO to rehab and run a risk of losing custody OR don't go and run a risk of losing custody.

I don't know what people who are addicted are supposed to do, but the system is set up to protect the children.

I see everyone ELSE being blamed here - the Doctor who prescribed the drugs, the husband who lied, the system which took the children, the lawyer who was apparently retained but can't answer a simple question ("Why?") That concerns me.

GV70
Feb 20, 2011, 08:13 AM
She voluntarily takes drug tests every week to keep proving that she
is well and she can not understand how to get this problem under control.



the mother has proof that the father lied she is putting herself through weekly testing to prove that she is clean.

What?? ;)

TA4500
May 24, 2012, 12:03 AM
I am going through a similar problem about husband lying to court. I have let my husband take his son for christmas last year to spend for holidays since he has been deployed all year. I wrote letter stating that he wouldn't take any legal actions while caring for my child. Thus far he has. He done told the child custody hearing people that my ex boyfriend was sucidal and that I move to GA and left my other two children with there grandparents. I have left to GA to find a JOB because I lost the job I had in TENN because of maternity leave. There wasn't anything at TENN decided to look elsewhere for work. The guy I did date he did talk about hurting himself due to depression from the army. I have text my husband telling him I wasn't going to bring my kids around a person who thinks that way. Out of spite I didn't want to deal with him either but I did get help for that person. By all means I wouldn't let a person kill themselves an I knew about it. Anyway I guess my husband decided to tell the judge court whomever made up some lie sayimg he had my son for 6month in Colorado my son birth place. I left my husband May 2010 He has deployed the month June 2010. He return July 2011 to Colorado. I was In Tennesse since May 2010 when I left him. We even got married in Tennesse. My husband picked up my son from my mother for holidays from December 6 2011, and I pick him up Feb 27,2012 therefore my husband state he is in Colorado Doesn't have Jurdiction. I have filed divorce Feb 28, 2012. He was summone in court divorce papers in March 2. How the world did he end up with temporary custody. March 14 when the paper was order. My son been with me since birth and never left my site. My husband been in out our lives living and cheating on me with several woman. I left him because he receive a bad infection. So I left I cant be with a guy like that.. He is trying to use my son to get out the army under fsamily care plan/ and he doesn't want to pay childsupport. He want let me talk to my 2year old son I couldn't talk to him on mother day and haven't since now. I am sick/sad and depress. I really want my son back. The lawyer I have stay to busy and I feel I am getting the run around. I don't think its write a person lies to court and when free without a lawyer. He represent hisself so hw in the world people listen to someone without investgatiing. Jurdiction lies inTennesse where the mother resides. I just want my son back I am still nice enough that he can still get fathers day and his summer with him. I pray to GOD he help through this tough pain.
MOTHER THAT WANTS HER BABY BACK. MOTHER OF THREE.

JudyKayTee
May 24, 2012, 05:15 AM
I'm trying to boil this down so I can understand it. Any letter/agreement you and your husband wrote without an Attorney, without knowing the law, is most probably useless. Let's see - you claim your husband lied by telling people your ex-boyfriend was suicidal (and you admit he was), by saying you left your other children with their grandparents (which you admit you did). Your husband cheated and gave you a "bad infection" - but you left your son with him for a period over the holidays.

If you believe the Court does not have jurisdiction, that's your legal argument. Why would he pay child support to you when he has the child?

You can't argue that your husband is unfit (because of whatever happened between the two of you, which may or may not be important), and also be "nice" and allow him to have the child on father's day... and all summer.

Listen to your Attorney.

ks1028
May 27, 2012, 04:52 AM
I need help my sons father gave wrong address for me when he filed for full custody, but then gave me the papers, well had a friend serve me. The paper said the only way that it was going to continue was 1 of us had to write a letter why we wanted custody,and had 30 days to do this otherwise it would be dismissed. Well we were on speaking terms and I asked if he had talked to his lawyer he told me no.I also went to court house and I have the date and time I went and I was told it was closed.Well at least 4 months later someone sends me a copy of where he had went to court and had gotten full custody. I never knew of a court date, he gave them my old address. So it looked like I didn't care because I didn't show up and now he has full custody. Well I didn't know this because he never said a word to me about it and we kept it the same we shared 50/50. I really know nothing about what I can do because now he has decided because I did get a charge which my son was not with me and its nothing compared to his record, I am not saying what happened to me was OK I will take full responsibillity but he found out about my charge that I got while he was in jail, yea while he was in jail. Now he feels that I cant take care of my son which this happened last sept. and I go to probation and meetings and they drug test me and always clean. And he will not let me have my son now because he just found out. I cant afford a lawyer and there is a lot more to this story but I NEED HELP! Can you plez point me in the right direction? I have went and talked to three diff lawyers and they pretty much all said I need to come up with 5,000 for them to take my case. Any info would be great because I am a mother of a 2 yr old that is my everything! This is truly hurting my heart and I NEED HELP!

JudyKayTee
May 27, 2012, 06:17 AM
I don't see that you have much of a chance without an Attorney. It sounds like you both have criminal histories. Maybe his is worse, maybe not. Have you talked to Legal Aid? Is there a law school in your area which has students which help prepare papers?

If you go to Court a Judge will decide which of you is the better custodial parent and whether either one of you should have visitation. That decision will be in the best interest of the child.

If you were not served with the papers, that's one thing. If you were served but didn't appear, that's another. He either gave you the papers OR he had a friend serve you.

Which was it?

I don't know that hearing the whole story will make a difference. You need to get back in Court, whatever process that is in your area.