So, because of some advice from a previous post about my very independent (1 year old and female) cat, I (or should I say my husband and I) decided to get another cat (young cat). We found a very longing a playful female cat that we fell in love with (she's 9 months old). We have set her up with a safe room down stairs and plugged in feliway (vet recommended it). She's been down there for over a week now. They have played with paws under the door and have gotten used to each others scents. They have seen each a couple of times face to face, but here's what happens. The existing cat comes into the room and our new cat purrs and tries rubbing against her. The existing cat sniffs her, and even grooms her a little and there really isn't any aggressive behavior. As soon as the new cat leaves the room, the existing cat runs in front of her, put's her paw up and will smack her, and chase her, and be aggressive even if she goes back into the safe room, so we end up separating them again to start over.. I know the existing cat is protecting her territory, and we have to be patient. We also will make sure they have separate feeding areas and several litter boxes in open spaces when the new cat gets further than the safe room door.
I've heard of putting the new cat in a carrier so the existing cat can see and smell, but the new cat is still safe and not stressed, I just don't really know where to go from there if that is the right way..
How exactly should we go about advancing this so the existing cat won't fell like this is a huge invasion of territory, and the new cat won't get so stressed from being punished?

It sounds like they are doing just fine. Is there hissing or spitting? Are there arched backs? Feeding them at the same time in the same room but on separate plates might be next step.

One of them will assert herself as alpha, which is what cats do; they live in hierarchies. It sounds like the "face smacking" is the older cat saying, "This was my house first, and I'm in charge here, so don't get ideas." If her claws are not extended when she does this, it sounds pretty agreeable.

They're both very young and close in age. I'd put them together more often and whenever you are close by. Maybe have a bath towel or throw blanket close by to toss over one if them if an actual fight breaks out. We just brought inside a 1.5 year old stray (and vet-checked) female who adapted very quickly to our household routine and three other cats. I'm guessing you're well on your way to a happy household.

Surprisingly, they have not hissed or growled, nor have they arched their backs (except when surprised, which I think is pretty normal for cats).
Awesome, I guess they're getting along way better than expected! The only thing I'm afraid of is the new cat not being as sweet or relaxed as she is without the existing cat around. The whole reason we got this new kitty was for 1, to have our existing cat have a friend to play with, and two, so we could have a cat to cuddle, but the existing cat HATES being touched 98% of the time.
But, We'll keep putting them together, supervised and let it run it's course. Thanks! :)

Each cat has a personality (just like humans). My son's cat will sit on his lap or hang round his neck or snuggle up next to him 24/7. That cat looks at me with a blank look and then turns his head away in disgust. My beloved cat who died was on me constantly like a leech and expressed his opinion about everything. My husband's cat looks at all of us, except him, like we're used kitty litter. Her eyes melt into pools of minced beef when she sees him. The new one we brought in from outside is mostly invisible, but we're working on her to be more social.

Play with the new one and touch her as much as possible, especially when she's eating. Talk with her constantly. Oh, and whoever feeds her will have first dibs with her affections. Find a treat she likes and lure her onto your lap.

Thanks! We were also afraid if we gave her affections while the existing cat was around, that the existing cat might get jealous and dislike her right away, but then we thought about it and realized, our existing cat hates being shown affection, why would she care! Sure enough, she doesn't.. :P We'll gave the new baby a lot more affection to soothe her nerves! Thanks for the advice [and confidence! :) ]

Thanks! We were also afraid if we gave her affections while the existing cat was around, that the existing cat might get jealous and dislike her right away
You'll know it if the "old" cat gets jealous. Cats don't disguise their feelings. Tell me their names, and be sure to update us as time goes on. And we LUV pics! :D

http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l571/tmtrotminor/cutieyuffie.jpg

Tifa is the existing cat, and Yuffie (pronounced You-Fee) is the new cat.

I'll let you know how it goes! :)

Tifa seems to know her way around very well and has taken over. Yuffie looks just like the cat we brought in from outside. Does she have any white on her at all?

Thanks for the pics!!

Tifa does! :P Yuffie has a couple of white patches on her tummy. She is also striped like a tabby when you see her in a well lit room. Very cute! :)
No Prob. ;)

All right, here's an update. We have been letting them be in the same room, supervised, with feliway, and separated and fed at night.
Tifa of course is trying to establish her alpha cat position, and she's doing it by constantly following and/or watching Yuffie, chasing her, stalking her, giving her the mean eye, pouncing on her and grooming her. Usually the grooming starts, but Yuffie doesn't trust her so she tries walking away, and Tifa pounces on her and starts biting and scratching.
I guess, basically what's happening is Tifa's constantly (like 24/7!) following her, and then ends up attacking her and they lock arms around each other and start kicking, at which point I squirt them both and say , "NO".
Any behaviors to be concerned about?

All right, here's an update. We have been letting them be in the same room, supervised, with feliway, and separated and fed at night.
Have you started to feed them together (at the same time in the same room), each having her own dish/plate?

Tifa's constantly (like 24/7!) following her, and then ends up attacking her and they lock arms around each other and start kicking, at which point I squirt them both and say , "NO".
Both are still young and may be doing this "just for fun," although with Tifa hounding Yuffie, Yuffie may disagree with the fun part. Our Cats expert (hheath) isn't online right now, so I'll PM her to ask her to take a look at your thread and venture an opinion.

We have tried feeding them a good 8-10 feet from each other, but Tifa wants to get involved. She goes over and tries grooming her, and then Yuffie runs away from her food, and Tifa goes to eat it.. So we decided to feed them in different rooms.. Tifa wanted to be involved with Yuffie going into the litter box too, but I squirt Tifa and shoo her. I don't need Yuffie pooping on the carpet because Tifa's chasing her out of the litter box!
As far as them"playing", I can see exactly where Yuffie doesn't agree with the fun part.. Tifa is very Bi-polar to everyone.. She's nice and sweet one second, and the next she's gripped on for life trying to seriously hurt you! I have the scars to prove it! And Yuffie has picked up on this, therefore, does not trust her.. So she's always trying to avoid Tifa, so she doesn't get caught up in it.. Can't blame her really..
I actually spoke with my vet today, and she thinks Tifa might have depression.. She's going to the vet on Thursday to check up on her.. Along with clipping her claws (since I haven't been able to since she was a kitten.
Thanks so much for your help thus far. :)

Sounds like normal cat behavior to me. My cats fight like that all the time. In fact, my alpha male will go after either his brother or his sisters in the morning and not let up for an hour or more. As soon as they get away, he's back on them kicking and biting. He's just reminding them of their place, and there's never been any danger of someone getting hurt.

If they're not hurting each other, then I say just let it play out. If you interfere too much, they'll never fully establish a hierarchy, and you'll end up with two cats that can't live peacefully.

Try getting a cat tower so tifa can have a high place to sit. The alpha of any pack will claim the highest spot as their own, and it'll also give her a place to get away from yuffie.

Seems to me that you're doing everything right, and you're cats are adjusting well.

By the way, I love the names. How did you pick them?

Awesome! Thanks so much. We named them after final fantasy 7 characters (video game.) They seem to have the traits of those characters. :P