Here is the situation... My stepson is presumed to be the father of his girlfriend's new baby. The girlfriend and my stepson both acknowledged my stepson being the father in the birth papers, although the girlfriend has full custody. We could start a court proceeding to have our son gain some custodial or visitation rights. Neither side has much money to start the legal proceedings. I was thinking that it may be best to start with an unofficial and cheaper DNA paternity test, which the girlfriend is hesitant about. The girlfriend is hesitant because if our son gains any sort of custodial or visitation rights, then she doesn't think that our son will ever "need" to marry her. Likewise, if the baby is not our son's offspring, then she thinks that our son may never marry her (most likely due to her anti-testing behavior). The whole situation is sad for the little one because our probable grandbaby would grow up at least part of the time inside a close, caring, and loving family. Marriage is out of the question for these two at this time.
The question... Does our son have the right to take a DNA swab from his officially recognized child (although not a custodial parent) for the purpose of a paternity test?

If there is a motion before the Court (for support, custody, visitation) the Court will order DNA testing at a COURT RECOGNIZED facility. You can't just buy one of those over-the-counter kits and have the Court respect the findings.

I would resolve this now because it will only get worse. Everyone needs to know the truth.

As far as loving a child - I have step Grandchildren, not related to me my blood. I could not love them any more.

If the girlfriend is pressuring your son into marrying her I think I'd have a serious talk with both of them, as a concerned mother.

Here is the situation...My stepson is presumed to be the father of his girlfriend's new baby. The girlfriend and my stepson both acknowledged my stepson being the father in the birth papers, although the girlfriend has full custody. We could start a court proceeding to have our son gain some custodial or visitation rights. Neither side has much money to start the legal proceedings. I was thinking that it may be best to start with an unofficial and cheaper DNA paternity test, which the girlfriend is hesitant about. The girlfriend is hesitant because if our son gains any sort of custodial or visitation rights, then she doesn't think that our son will ever "need" to marry her. Likewise, if the baby is not our son's offspring, then she thinks that our son may never marry her (most likely due to her anti-testing behavior). The whole situation is sad for the little one because our probable grandbaby would grow up at least part of the time inside a close, caring, and loving family. Marriage is out of the question for these two at this time.
The question...Does our son have the right to take a DNA swab from his officially recognized child (although not a custodial parent) for the purpose of a paternity test?

If your son is unable to afford the court fees, he can apply for a waiver of fees. He can ask the court clerk about this.

My concern is that you state that your stepson is listed as the father "in the birth papers" which sounds as if he signed a paternity acknowledgment. Did he have doubts at that time that he was the biological father of the baby?

The girlfriend has larger issues to deal with if she's trying to use a baby to gain a husband.

If your son is unable to afford the court fees, he can apply for a waiver of fees. He can ask the court clerk about this.

Thanks, I did not think of this.

My concern is that you state that your stepson is listed as the father "in the birth papers" which sounds as if he signed a paternity acknowledgment. Did he have doubts at that time that he was the biological father of the baby?

Our son does not have doubts, but we did have doubts then and still do now.

The girlfriend has larger issues to deal with if she's trying to use a baby to gain a husband.

I am trying to keep all parties from being emotional, and so I am tackling this from as rationale a perspective as possible. The maturity levels are not high with either our son or his girlfriend, although our son has stepped up to try and be a Dad and Father.

If there is a motion before the Court (for support, custody, visitation) the Court will order DNA testing at a COURT RECOGNIZED facility. You can't just buy one of those over-the-counter kits and have the Court respect the findings.

Understood. But if this is not our child/grandchild, then no need to go to court for anything until our son adopts the baby (if ever).

I would resolve this now because it will only get worse. Everyone needs to know the truth.

As far as loving a child - I have step Grandchildren, not related to me my blood. I could not love them any more.

If the girlfriend is pressuring your son into marrying her I think I'd have a serious talk with both of them, as a concerned mother.

No problem with loving non-biological children and grandchildren. I already have several of each, and the new grandkids have already stolen my heart. We acknowledge that the maturity levels of both are already testing our patience.

How old are the parents of the child?

If there is a motion before the Court (for support, custody, visitation) the Court will order DNA testing at a COURT RECOGNIZED facility. You can't just buy one of those over-the-counter kits and have the Court respect the findings.

Understood. But if this is not our child/grandchild, then no need to go to court for anything until our son adopts the baby (if ever).]


If your son wants to be Court-ordered (and the time will come) to pay support for a child he's not sure he fathered, then I agree - there's no need to to Court. Also, if he wants the child to believe he's the father and then at some point find out he's not, then no need for DNA testing.

How old are the parents of the child?

Both 22 years

He will need to go to court and get this situation straightened out. He needs to set up visitation and child support for his child. Also if there is any doubt whatsoever he needs to get a DNA test done. Right now since Im not sure who aknowlaged what or what papers your talking about. But it may not be enough to pass a hippa test. So he can't get dna from his child until a court order.

If your son wants to be Court-ordered (and the time will come) to pay support for a child he's not sure he fathered, then I agree - there's no need to to Court. Also, if he wants the child to believe he's the father and then at some point find out he's not, then no need for DNA testing.

Dear Judy:

I don't wish to sound insincere or ungrateful. But these legal viewpoints would have been helpful in your first reply to me. My son thinks he is the father. Grandmother and I are not so sure. We (Grandma and I) are the ones pushing for the truth. We do not wish to invest our love, time, and money (and in that priority) into someone that may possibly be playing games. We also think it best if our son discovers the truth sooner than later for emotional as well as legal reasons. We suspect that our son will love this child if it his biological child or not, because that is how he was raised (no bragging intended). But we don't wish him to be held accountable if things do not work out, and the child is not biologically his. Much like an attorney with a client, a parent's job is to teach children how to stay out of trouble. That said, nobody has answered my question...Is it illegal to test a non-custodial child for DNA? If we discover from the first test that our son is not the Father, then we would go to court with a certified DNA test, and we are only an additional $200 out above the legal costs. If he is the biological father then he is going to pay in some fashion, right?

He will need to go to court and get this situation straightened out. He needs to set up visitation and child support for his child. Also if there is any doubt whatsoever he needs to get a DNA test done. Right now since Im not sure who aknowlaged what or what papers your talking about. But it may not be enough to pass a hippa test. So he can't get dna from his child until a court order.

Thanks Dad of 3! My son and his girlfriend both signed county court papers soon after birth acknowledging that our son was the father. I will check locally with the county to see if this document passes the Hippa test. I do appreciate everyone's time and energy!

Here's my issue with the whole thing: your son isn't the one concerned about this situation - you are. Your son doesn't want to take a DNA test - you want him to take one. I'm concerned that you're going to alienate your child and possibly your grandchild if you continue to push this and he doesn't want to.

I'm even more bothered by this statement:

We suspect that our son will love this child if it his biological child or not, because that is how he was raised (no bragging intended). But we don't wish him to be held accountable if things do not work out, and the child is not biologically his.
You make it seem as if your son learns three years down the road that this isn't his child, he should be able to walk away from the situation. Either you want him to a)be the father figure in this child's life, regardless of paternity or b)get the DNA test and if it's not his child, wash his hands of the situation. You can't have both. If you "raised" him to love this child, regardless of who the father is, then I don't understand why you're pushing to have a paternity test done.

What are your grounds for not believing the child belongs to your son? Physical features? Timing of pregnancy?

Also, depending on your state, your son may not even be able to question paternity. In my state, the paternity acknowledgment says multiple times that signing the paperwork results in you forfeiting your right to request a paternity test or deny paternity later down the road. Sometimes the judges will stick to the paperwork, others will allow a DNA test to be done if they feel the father was lied to. Even so, some judges will ignore a DNA test if they feel it's in the child's best interest to keep the "dad" in their life.

You also made a comment about your son "adopting" the baby. If he signed the paternity acknowledgment, then adoption isn't necessary - he is the legal father of that child.