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Saala
Aug 9, 2010, 11:16 AM
My boyfriend has joint custody and pays child support but we have his daughter 5 out of 7 nights a week! How do we change this to be fair? This is all fairly new to us and he signed a separation agreement which says his ex is the primary care giver and that he will be responsible for the child when she works. At first it was every weekend but then it turned to several nights a week and in the contract it says that he is responsible for child care if he can not take her any time his wife works. She tends to take night shifts and since we live over an hour away we ended up hiring a baby sitter for week nights during school. I feel it unfair to be paying support and then having the responsibility of this child 5 nights a week when he gave his wife the house, saving and investments so basically she really doesn't have to work as much.

smoothy
Aug 9, 2010, 11:29 AM
Was this how it was when the court imposed the child support? Or did it slowly change to this.

I would talk to your lawyer and have this brought up in court as that is the only way this can legally be modified or changed.

ScottGem
Aug 9, 2010, 11:41 AM
What does the original custody/support order state? If the child is spending more time with him than the original order stated, then he goes back to the court and asks for a modification of the order.

How can you say something is unfair if he agreed to it? Remember you have absolutely NO standing in this. Its your boyfriend's issue not yours. If he wants to fight for fairness then he goes back to the court and points out that the separation agreement is not being adhered to and ask for a modification of the support order accordingly.

Saala
Aug 10, 2010, 11:19 AM
Thank you guys! I guess I was trying to figure out if this is normal - and if once an agreement is signed its really hard to change. Perhaps what I was thinking didn't seem fair - really is just the normal when a father leaves a child the mother gets everything and can just decide to send the child to the father anytime it suits her. I guess it is a good idea to go back to court and see what a judge decides! Thanks