My husband and I want to adopt our friends son. He has been in our home now for one month. He has medical problems and his mom has no way to care for him. She wants us to take him but the father won't sign over his rights. He has only seen one a couple times and does not support him. He draws disability for a mental condition, is on drugs and lives in a camper with his parents. He said that he would take the baby and raise him. Do you think we have a chance to get the child? We go to court for the father to have DNA on the child and back child support.

You cannot adopt without the consent of both parents UNLESS a parent loses custody permanently through Court Order. That very seldom happens.

I'm sorry but I don't think you will be able to adopt - you and your husband are taking him to Court for DNA and child support? You have no legal standing in this.

As this is a legal question its been moved to the appropriate forum from the Adoption forum.

Your post raises a lot of questions. You refer to back child support. But if the father has never been established as the legal father then there is no back support to get. As Judy pointed out, you have no legal standing here. You can't file for anything. The mother has to do that.

If the father has already been established as the legal father then there is no reason for a DNA test. But in that case, he can just show up and ask you to hand over the child and you would legally have no choice.

You better get an attorney NOW! By taking the child you have put yourself in a tenuous position.

Yes, Scott is correct if he has never been proven the father, there is no back support even due. If he has been proven the father, then there is no need for a DNA test

And you have no right or standing to even ask, only the mother can at this point. Also if he is collecting disability what support he would owe would be a few dollars a month at most. And normally it will not be held out of a disability check.

If the mother does not want the child, and the father does not want him ( but you said he would take child) perhaps guardianship of the child. But it may be a long costly court battle

yes, Scott is correct if he has never been proven the father, there is no back support even due. If he has been proven the father, then there is no need for a DNA test

And you have no right or standing to even ask, only the mother can at this point. Also if he is collecting disability what support he would owe would be a few dollars a month at most. And normally it will not be held out of a disability check.

If the mother does not want the child, and the father does not want him ( but you said he would take child) perhaps guardianship of the child. but it may be a long costly court battle

I have not right! You don't have a right to even make that comment. You do not know the circumstances. What I am concerned about is this: The mother cannot provide a safe and sanitary home for this child. She is pregnant right now, using, and in a very bad place. The mother has asked us to take the child to keep him safe. The father has not been in his life at all.. and no the father has not had DNA yet. This will be done this coming month. The "potential" father draws a check and is being sued by the state for reimbursement of a check that has been given to the mother since the child has been born. If the test comes back and the man is the father he will be responsible for all back payments and plus child support for his child. The "potential" father lives in a camper, without electric and water, does drugs and cannot take care of this child either. If someone doesn't take the child, the child will be in state custody. My husband and I do have power of attorney for him right now because he has to go to shriners for treatments due to a medical condition. The child has not had shots! Would u try and help this child or would you let him fall between the cracks. Yeah the dad will take him but what is in best interest of the child. I am state certified with fostering so I know the guidelines. My heart is with the child and I will do whatever in my power to help him. He deserves a chance at life! No matter what the cost. I can provide that!

I have not right! You don't have a right to even make that comment. You do not know the circumstances.

Excuse me, but you are way off base here. You asked a LEGAL question. You got a LEGAL answer. Chuck didn't make any "comment" he (as I did) gave you the facts as a matter of law. Based on what YOU told us.

You totally misunderstood us. We understand how you want to protect the child and we applaud you for it. But the law doesn't always look at it that way.

However, since the father has not been established as the legal father yet, you are in a slightly better position. What you need to do IMMEDIATELY is consult a Family law attorney to protect yourself and the child. You need to nail down your temporary guardianship of the child in a court. This has to be done legally and quickly. The Power of Attorney may not enough if it wasn't approved by a court. Once this is done, then you can act on behalf of the child.

Courts have traditionally favored biology. That means, that despite, his shortcomings the father has a leg up in custody issues. Its possible you can build a case for unfitness and I hope you do.

There are very good reasons behind not being able to force someone to sign away their parental rights just because they cannot support the child. Can you imagine the business that would be started, keeping women pregnant and dependent and "selling" the babies for adoption, because the mother couldn't support the child and the father was willing to sign over parental rights? Can you imagine forcing a teenage mother with no job to sign away her parental rights because she can't provide a home better than a camper with no water or electricity?

There are VERY good reasons for making sure that signing parental rights away is voluntary, or that the state is terminating parental rights ONLY for parents who are a danger to their children.

So... if you can prove he's on drugs in his camper down by the river---GREAT! You stand a pretty good chance of getting custody of the child, at the very least. I doubt the state will force him to sign over his parental rights without at least a chance at rehabilitation, though.

If the mother was drawing state aid, then yes, he will be responsible for back support if proven the father. That back support will be paid to the STATE, not you or the mother, to repay the taxpayers for supporting his child. Don't expect to see that money.

Your attack on FrChuck was unfair. You asked a legal question and gave very little info and you received correct legal advice based on what you posted. Even after expanding on the details that advice does not change.

As Scott said, morally you are probably right. Ethically, you are probably right. Legally you have no standing.

I have no idea how a man who has not been proven to be the father owes back child support - what State is this? I presume Kentucky but I am not positive.

Judy,

I'm betting that if he IS proven to be the father, the state is looking for him for reimbursement for public assistance funds. That happens often enough.

Judy,

I'm betting that if he IS proven to be the father, the state is looking for him for reimbursement for public assistance funds. That happens often enough.

Actually, I'm not so sure about that. Apparently the mother has a good idea of who the father is. BEFORE she's approved for public assistance, Social Services would ask for this information and they would have already gone after the father.

Excuse me, but you are way off base here. You asked a LEGAL question. You got a LEGAL answer. Chuck didn't make any "comment" he (as I did) gave you the facts as a matter of law. Based on what YOU told us.

You totally misunderstood us. We understand how you want to protect the child and we applaud you for it. But the law doesn't always look at it that way.

However, since the father has not been established as the legal father yet, you are in a slightly better position. What you need to do IMMEDIATELY is consult a Family law attorney to protect yourself and the child. You need to nail down your temporary guardianship of the child in a court. This has to be done legally and quickly. The Power of Attorney may not enough if it wasn't approved by a court. Once this is done, then you can act on behalf of the child.

Courts have traditionally favored biology. That means, that despite, his shortcomings the father has a leg up in custody issues. Its possible you can build a case for unfitness and I hope you do.Thank you! I do have an attorney. The first and most important thing in this case was to get the power of attorney so that the child could receive medical treatment. The child is nine months old and has had only two Hep B shots. That's it! He hadn't received his wic in almost three months. The child had been drinking whole milk. Also the child has severe allergies and asthma, is on a breathing treatment three times a day. He has severe ear infection right now, on antibiotics, steroids, and ear drops. NOt only this but he is being treated by Shriners for a club foot which hasn't been addressed and trachea mylasia which can be very dangerous. I only want what's best for this chiild in need of dire medical treatment. I understand that if his father wants to see him then he needs to straighten up his act. The mother does not want him so if it needs to be then I will do whatever in my power to help the father take care of this child. I just don't see it in the child's best interest if the father is on drugs and can't provide a clean and stable home for the baby. This is what this child will require based on his medical condition. I hope and pray the young dad can step up to the plate and take responsibility because every child deserves its parents.

There are very good reasons behind not being able to force someone to sign away their parental rights just because they cannot support the child. Can you imagine the business that would be started, keeping women pregnant and dependent and "selling" the babies for adoption, because the mother couldn't support the child and the father was willing to sign over parental rights? Can you imagine forcing a teenage mother with no job to sign away her parental rights because she can't provide a home better than a camper with no water or electricity?

There are VERY good reasons for making sure that signing parental rights away is voluntary, or that the state is terminating parental rights ONLY for parents who are a danger to their children.

So...if you can prove he's on drugs in his camper down by the river---GREAT! You stand a pretty good chance of getting custody of the child, at the very least. I doubt the state will force him to sign over his parental rights without at least a chance at rehabilitation, though.

If the mother was drawing state aid, then yes, he will be responsible for back support if proven the father. That back support will be paid to the STATE, not you or the mother, to repay the taxpayers for supporting his child. Don't expect to see that money.I don't expect money from this case, What I do want is for the child to be taken care of. Like I mentioned above in the other post, he is in dire need of medical treatment. The first step was to get power of attorney so my husband and I could provide that for him. He is on breathing treatments three times a day, antibiotics for severe ear infection, being treated for a club foot which had never been addressed and trachea mylasia which is very dangereous. I pray the dad can step up and be a good dad for him, his mom doesn't want him. If needed to be then we could help this dad take part in his child's life. I will do whatever necessary to help him out.

Judy,

I'm betting that if he IS proven to be the father, the state is looking for him for reimbursement for public assistance funds. That happens often enough.Yes they are looking for reimbursement for a check the mother has received since the child has been born. The state also wants a DNA to rule out the man is the father of the child so they can proceed with getting their money back and for the father to pay child support.

I just want to say that I wasn't attacking Chuck, but I did want him to understand the situation a little better. I get upset when talking about this baby. I appologize if this was taken in any rude manner.

Hey, I can understand getting upset when a child is very ill.

Please don't think we're attacking you--we just so often need more information in order to answer questions--and sometimes people just do not realize WHY the law is phrased the way it is.

We are trying to help--we just don't know as much of the story as you do.

Hey, I can understand getting upset when a child is very ill.

Please don't think we're attacking you--we just so often need more information in order to answer questions--and sometimes people just do not realize WHY the law is phrased the way it is.

We are trying to help--we just don't know as much of the story as you do.I totally understand. Thank you so much for everything!

Good luck and keep us posted.

Good luck and keep us posted.Thank you and I sure will! Pray for a good outcome.