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View Full Version : Why do I have Gay thoughts when I Am not attracted to men?



Dezman
Apr 6, 2010, 07:57 AM
I am tired of gay voices inside my head. I'm a 28 year old male who always been with women. Yes I had my share of bad relationships but it has never pulled me to being gay. I have a girlfriend that I adore. I am confused to these thoughts. They make me feel horrible.. I don't want to be gay I just want the thoughts to go away. Describeing my thoughts really are hearing voices telling me Im gay being very weirded out by real gay men... Confused and tired of this

CravenMorhead
Apr 6, 2010, 08:02 AM
I think you might need to see a therapist. The 'hearing gay voices' thing is sort of weirding me out here.

Why do the thoughts come up? What are the thoughts? I think you need to explore and understand where these feelings are coming from.

excon
Apr 6, 2010, 08:21 AM
Confused and tired of thisHello Dez:

Here's my take on it, and I don't know nuthin.. If you measure one's sexuality on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being 100% hetrosexual, and 10 being 100% homosexual, it's my view that most people are NOT 1's or 10's, but fall somewhere in between..

Therefore, it doesn't make you less of a hetrosexual because you check out a guy's crotch once in a while, because there's no such thing as a 100% hetrosexual.

Now, there's a lot of lying about this stuff, because it's frowned upon in our society to be anything other than straight. So, in my view, that's where your problems stem from. It's accepting who you are, instead of trying to fit a stereotype that nobody fits.

excon

smoothy
Apr 6, 2010, 10:48 AM
I am tired of gay voices inside my head. I'm a 28 year old male who always been with women. Yes I had my share of bad relationships but it has never pulled me to being gay. I have a girlfriend that I adore. I am confused to these thoughts. They make me feel horrible.. I don't want to be gay I just want the thoughts to go away. Describeing my thoughts really are hearing voices telling me Im gay being very weirded out by real gay men... Confused and tired of this

I think what those "Voices" are telling you means everything.

Are these really voices... or are we really talking a gut feeling... or a curiousity.

Actual Voices won't be all that normal, but a gut feeling or a curiousity about something "forbidden" isn't all that unusual. Particualrly around a time you need a "release".

ThunderChicken
Apr 15, 2010, 10:14 PM
I'm not real clear on what the "gay voices" are saying. Is it like a desire or just curiosity? Or they like actual voices? Because if you're hearing voices, it's not a good thing, whether they're gay or not.

I also have to ask, is it a desire/curiosity towards men, or is it desire/curiosity towards homosexual practices, but you're still attracted to the opposite sex? If it's the second one, it might be a relief for you know that there are straight people that like "gay" things, but they do them with the opposite sex.

If it's the first one though, well... you can deny it all you like but eventually you'll have acknowledge it.

Dezman
Apr 16, 2010, 09:42 AM
Well I really don't understand it. I'm still very attaracted to women. I don't want to say I'm Bi either. I mean I just don't get it. May I have a mental illness?

smoothy
Apr 16, 2010, 10:06 AM
Well I really don't understand it. I'm still very attaracted to women. I don't want to say I'm Bi either. I mean I just don't get it. May I have a mental illness?

Do you actually hear voices... or is it just a bad choice of words for saying you have these thoughts?

ThunderChicken
Apr 16, 2010, 01:21 PM
Well I really don't understand it. I'm still very attaracted to women. I don't want to say I'm Bi either. I mean I just don't get it. May I have a mental illness?

Mental illness? For what exactly?

It's not an illness to have gay thoughts or to be gay. Or even the situation I mentioned above, is not a mental illness.

However, I'm unclear on the "hearing voices" thing... are you actually hearing voices? Or was that bad wording?

Dezman
Apr 19, 2010, 02:52 PM
Yes I do here voices

ThunderChicken
Apr 19, 2010, 03:06 PM
All right then, you should go seek out some therapy.

smoothy
Apr 20, 2010, 05:12 AM
Yes I do here voices

THAT is so NOT normal. Knowing that you really should seek help. Its likely a condition that can be treated so you can go on with life without that happening.

Dezman
Apr 20, 2010, 05:50 AM
Any ideas on who I see... I've never had to see a shrink before... These thoughts are so not me.. Could I be such a homophob it's affecting my reality causing misguided thoughts... Plus one thing I do know I never actually have homosexual tendenics... I enjoy sex with my woman...

excon
Apr 20, 2010, 05:52 AM
Any ideas on who I see... Hello again, Dez:

A psychiatrist. Hearing voices IS an illness. Just figuring out who you are isn't.

excon

McCarfy
Apr 21, 2010, 02:52 PM
I knidof have the same thing at the minute. I am a 20 year old guy from Ireland. I have always kind of had compulsive thoughts and have somewhat an obbsesive personality. For a couple of years I had bad depression and when I was 17 I tried to commit suicide. It was the same thing then than I get now it's like when I was badly depressed I could not stop thinking about suicide I mean every minute of the day the thought was there in the back of my head, but I did have genuine reason's to be depressed, now it's the same for the last week or so I've had this thoughts about being gay but I am not I am and always have been attracted to women I am in my first real long term relationship and she is the second woman I have slept with. I love her to bits she mean's the world to me and she's gorgeous and the sex is unbelievable, after we're both wrecked. I have nothing against gay people and have a gay friend though I see him like twice a year. If I see two men kissing on t.v. I am repulsed and I know for a fact If I went to try it I wouldn't be able to kiss a man I would be sick it turn's my stomach. If you met me you would know yourself there is nothing gay about me. Why do I have this thought constantly in my head it's not even the thought of I mite be gay I have been constantly convincing myself that I am not. Like I have this constant thought about how am not attracted to men and I how sick I would be if I did try it. I have been fully committed to my girl friend from the start and I really do love her and I don't have the thoughts at all when she's there. I feel as if I don't have control over my own thoughts.

Dezman
Apr 22, 2010, 06:45 AM
Wow Mcarfy you have the exact thing going on I do. It's so annoying isn't it?Not knowing what it really is for one thing. I'm the exact way when Im with my girlfriend I don't have these thoughts.We've been together for about 7 months now Im fixing to move in with her she makes me so happy.(and the sex is amazing as well!)... but back to these gay thoughts I even tried to watch a gay porn before and didn't even watch 5 seconds of it without getting grossed out. There's nothing gay about me either. But thaws thoughts are so depressing makes me sick sometimes.. Compulsive thoughts you say hmmm sounds interesting

excon
Apr 22, 2010, 06:55 AM
Hello again, Dez:

Look, Youngster. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. We are NOT our thoughts...

I'm an ordinary guy. Sometimes, out of the blue, when I see some stranger I don't know, I wonder what it would be like to smash him in the face. That's a weird thought. But, that's ALL that it is, because I don't smash people in their faces.

Now, I could get all upset and obsess about how screwed up I am... Or, I could realize that I am NOT my thoughts, and continue on with my life.

excon

McCarfy
Apr 22, 2010, 07:10 AM
I get the whole smashing in the face too, I used to get a real urge to punch people who are driving like ? That could kill everyone in the car including myself but I never do it. I tried watching a gay porn to and I think it's made me worse because I can't stop thinking about watching it and how repulsed I was. Like I just want to have control of my own thoughts. I know I am not guy so why am I constantly convincing myself that am not it's like am in denial that am guy yet I am not attracted to men at all

excon
Apr 22, 2010, 07:16 AM
Like I just want to have control of my own thoughts.Hello M:

Really, dude. So, does everybody else. But, it ain't happening.

excon

Jake2008
Apr 22, 2010, 07:46 AM
There could be a lot of things going on here, and more information is needed.

When you say 'having gay thoughts', does that mean having sex with other men?

Do you hear the voice encouraging you, only with the 'gay thoughts?'

Have you ever had, or come close to having sex with another man?

Do the thoughts happen more when you are with your girlfriend, or when you are by yourself.

Do you fantasize, dream or are otherwise occupied with being gay; does this thinking happen frequently, almost never, or just lately.

Just my opinion here but the voice may be created by you, because you are not willing and/or able to sort this out with any level of comfort. If the voice is coming from somebody else, you are not responsible for the thought in other words, and it is easier to deal with.

Have you ever experienced voices talking to you under other circumstances, such as while under a great deal of stress?

Is it always the same voice, and is it male or female.

When you feel an attraction to another male, is that when you hear the voices most?

Hearing random voices in your head telling you to blow up a hydro dam, or otherwise destructive thoughts, is not the same as hearing a voice encouraging you to go with the gay theme.

You may not be allowing yourself to realize that as excon said, sexuality is not black and white, and we are not born with a barrier that stops us from thinking or being attracted to the other sex. But, sexuality itself, is not normally accompanied by voices. That's why I'm thinking that this may be a really big, tough issue for you right now.

McCarfy
Apr 22, 2010, 08:37 AM
Nah it's not like that for me I just have thoughts all the time about gay's, I dno't know it's weird I just wish it would get out of my head because I tell you thing it'll never happen, I know I'll never be gay I won't even have a fling with guy to find out because I wouldn't be able to do it. I get weirded out if I accicdentally touched a friend in the hand and stuff like that and I know if I was drunk and a guy ame on to me I would probably get arrested for GBH, I'm nuts when am drunk lol, but anyway I love my girlfriend we're absolutley perfect for each other but why can't I think about her all the time like I used to I would just like to know why these thoughts come into my head, watching two men kiss make's me feel sick, it's not right. I want a have a family when I'm older I want to get married and have kids I love having sex with my girlfriend and when am not with her I miss her so much. If she knew what was going on in my head she would be shocked. I feel sick.

Jake2008
Apr 22, 2010, 09:07 AM
It isn't an easy bubble to break, that homophobic one. I am so proud in Canada that gays can marry and adopt children, and it is seriously not a big deal.

But, this isn't a debate on that issue, I just think it is a shame that you feel so defensive, and feel physically sick when, as you said, see two men kiss.

You didn't answer any of the questions posed to you, and brushed it off as "I just have thoughts about gay's all the time.."

You asked this question:
Could I be such a homophob it's affecting my reality causing misguided thoughts... and I think it's pretty obvious that plays a big part in this for you.

You might want to do a little research online, and seek out some professional help to help you understand your question, "Why do I have gay thoughts when I am not attacted to men".

I sincerely wish you well in your journey.

Dezman
Apr 22, 2010, 09:09 AM
The thoughts I hear is a male voice always saying your gay and I think about it I get all depressed and sick feeling then after awhile I realize I'm not because Ill see some dude with out a shirt on and think dude put that back on no one wants to see that... I'll see a very attractive girl and love looking at her.. I never fantizise about having sex with men.. Never it's gross to me but I still have this thought with no answer

mudweiser
Apr 22, 2010, 09:13 AM
Hearing voices: not normal

Having feelings or thoughts about the same sex: normal


What you can do is go to your family doctor or local walk in clinic where they will refer you to a psychiatrist. You can also look for a psychiatrist in your phone book.

Eitherway, any OTHER unusual thing happen to you? Do these voices tell you to do other things? Do they keep you up at night?

Synnen
Apr 22, 2010, 09:13 AM
I suggest you see a counselor.

Hearing voices--actual voices, and not just thoughts--is a BAD thing.

You need to talk to your doctor about it and get a referral.

slapshot_oi
Apr 22, 2010, 09:16 AM
Ya man, you really need to go see a psychiatrist pronto. Clearly, what this voice is telling you is stressing you out, never mind the fact that it shouldn't be there in the first place.

You need medical attention before things get out of hand.

EDIT:
A pledge brother of mine was hearing voices at 18. It was his living uncle, who he liked, and he said all the voice would do is narrate his life. He was a bagger at a grocery store and often times he'd hear encouraging words like: "And now Tom is placing the bread inside the plastic bag, careful not to put it on the bottom. Good job Tom.". It sounds silly and it made me laugh but he said he's had episodes where he thought the CIA was spying on him and smashed his laptop, which isn't funny. When takes his medication the voice stops almost immediately he says.