Apr 1, 2010, 10:49 AM
How can I help my boyfriend cope and move on after the death of his previous girlfriend? A little background of our situation. My boyfriend and I met and started dating in July of 2009. His previous girlfriend of 9 years passed away in Sept of 2008. He dated two girls prior to meeting me (one of them lasting 6 months). I was also in a relationship that ended with him passing away (April of 2007). It took me over a year to cope, recover and start living again. But I went through the full grieving process and got through it. After being with my boyfriend for almost 9 months now, I am starting to think that he still hasn't gotten through the grieving process and is 100% ready for our relationship. He tells me that he loves me and we have made plans to move in together at the end of the year. However, there have been comments and other actions on his part that make me think that he isn't ready. For instance, he has his dining room table set up with her ashes and two large (12 x 18 Size) pictures of her. It looks like a shrine in honor of her sitting for the world to see. He has changed a few pictures out in his house from pictures of them to us but only 6 out the 20 pictures (I had to be the one to give him the pictures too). A few of the pictures are still in the master bedroom. Again, I have gone through this process and I know when people have come to terms with the loss and are ready to move forward again. I don't think he is there yet. Should I just be patient and wait to see if he comes around? Or should I say something to him? Maybe suggest counseling? Not sure what to do at this point because I love him and I want to help him through this and not push him away. Any advice?