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marcelina
Mar 10, 2010, 01:29 PM
Recently my 5 y/o son discovered the difference in being circumsized and not (he is not), this was the start of a lot of questions and exploration on his part. Which his DR assured me was normal. I noticed not much longer that he was "masturbating" usually using a pillow or his bed. Following Dr orders I did not make a big deal about it, we made sure it was not due to anyone touching him or anything he had seen. He simply told me it feels good.

About one week ago his teacher informed me that during nap time she had caught him using a pillow to "masturbate" again (it is odd to me saying a toddler is masturbating) I told her what the Dr had told me and my son and I had a talk that this was private behavior as the Dr instructed me to do. I also provided him with a blanket to take to school as I was informed his actions may be due to him trying to comfort himself in an uncomfortable situation. (He hates his class and teacher... this is his first yr in school)

Two days ago Child Protective Services knocked on my door. The teacher had called them suspecting abuse. I am horrified. I am not sure what to do, I thought I did what I was supposed to by taking him to the Dr, she said this was normal so I did my best to not make a big deal about it and now DESPITE the CPS worker not finding anything wrong and having all the info from the Dr the school is strongly pursuing this. I am at a loss what to do. All family members have been interviewed, no evidence of any abuse has been found. He doesn't not spend the night anywhere or is ever (besides school) not in the presence of myself or his grandmother.

My questions..

1) are there are resources where I can get more information about this behavior being normal?
2)is this behavior truly normal? He has done it once at school but does do it more often at home... usually when he is indeed upset or bored.
3) Should I take him to another DR to get a second opinion?
4)Should I take him to a counselor? (His Dr said no, because this would make a bigger deal out of it which could make him do it more and also confuse him)

The one thing I am sure of is that he has not been abused, or seen anything he shouldn't. I have parent blocks on all the TVs in my house. I am at a loss on how to proceed with this, the thought of losing custody of my son because of a "normal" child behavior is appalling to me.

Side note, in our city CPS is cracking down because a mother recently murdered her two children the day after a CPS worker went to her house to investigate reports of abuse. She found none, and the next day the mother murdered both children. I understand they have a job to protect children... but this is ridiculous.

If anybody has any resources or advice please help me. This is tearing us apart.

justcurious55
Mar 10, 2010, 01:44 PM
What do you mean the school is still strongly pursuing it? Is CPS still involved?

It is normal behavior. Little kids are curious. We were actually just talking about this in the human sexuality class I'm taking. The teacher said the best thing to do when your young child starts masturbating is to just keep telling them its OK to do it, but only in their room when they're alone. That way they learn when it's appropriate and inappropriate.

I might do without the blanket and just keep reinforcing that school is not an appropriate place. And maybe its time to switch schools.

http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/masturbation-1?print=true

Here's an article you might be interested in
http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/masturbation-1?print=true

marcelina
Mar 10, 2010, 02:07 PM
From the bottom of my heart thank you for taking the time to answer my question...

As for yours:
Yes, CPS is still involved thought she won't answer my phone calls (I am giving the benefit of the doubt I am sure she is busy) last I heard from her she wants him to go to counseling, for what I am not sure. She also said that when she went to the school and talked to his teacher the teacher said she has seen this behavior in children and is convinced there is more going on than just normal behavior...

Since this is a headstart program (he had to start school late because of his bday) it is not required and I informed the CPS I would like to change his teacher or school, we have three elementry schools in our district. This seemed to backfire on me, as if I were hiding something. The reason for the blanket was because the Dr said he might be feeling insecure, initially I had let him take his "banky" to school then stopped letting him... I guess trying to make him more independent. So when Dr suggested I let him take it again I did.

Something I didn't mention earlier, I work long hours so my mother actually went to the school and spent the entire day with him. During lunch he ate pineapple which I am alergic to and now we know he is also, he broke out on his upper lip and tongue. Well, my mother had gone to the restroom and went to talk to someone and while she was gone they sent him to the nurse. I have the paperwork from the nurse it states he has an unexplained rash which has only occurred when grandmother attended school with him.

I feel like this is a witch hunt and I am truly at my witts end.

Thank you for the links, I am going to look at them now.

justcurious55
Mar 10, 2010, 02:23 PM
Wow. That does sound like a witch hunt. If the dr says to take the blanky to school, take the dr's advice. You could take him pack to the dr's for an allergy test to show that that is all the rash was. Hopefully someone else on here will have more advice for you. Hope you'll keep checking back

marcelina
Mar 10, 2010, 02:26 PM
I did take him to the dr and he does in fact have my same reaction to pineapple. I have the paperwork that says so.

I have a Dr appt for him on Friday I am going to have her check him head to toe and ask him all the questions she wants. Keep all documentation... it's all I know to do at this point. Thanks again for responding and for the links.