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View Full Version : Why doesn't he want to give me oral



katiejkepler
Dec 30, 2009, 08:57 PM
I'll start and note, I love giving my man oral. We are pretty active in the bedroom but the only thing I am confused about is why he won't give me oral..

I've tried to talk to him about it, but he pushes the subject off and says he's not ready,
We've been dating for a while, since he doesn't really like to use his fingers.. I'm not usually ready to go in, and when he's done most of the time I'm not..

If he went down on me, it would probably complete my sexual need..
But I have to use a vibrate to make up for the part that isn't filled..
Or I'll have him go a few times..

All I want to know is what would make him so scared to go down on me?

I keep myself very well clean.. it shouldn't be that..

jmjoseph
Dec 30, 2009, 09:18 PM
Some guys just don't like doing it. Me personally, I have always enjoyed giving a woman oral sex.

Talk to him about it, and maybe he will change his mind. Ask him to at least give it a try, for your sake.

Some guys are just that way. I don't understand it.

Catsmine
Dec 31, 2009, 04:05 AM
I'm not usually ready to go in, and when hes done most of the time I'm not..

May I first ask your ages?

It sounds like you're both not very experienced in the bedroom. I would recommend not letting him "go in" until you're ready, and perhaps not until you've had your first climax. You will be more lubricated and he can enjoy it longer with a little less friction.

sergie
Jan 2, 2010, 10:38 PM
If you love oral, its not necessary that he must love oral as well. The thing is... he may not at all interested in giving oral or he may totally dislike the idea.
Well as for me I am also a man, but I dilsike the idea of giving oral to any woman, but I like woman giving oral on me, that does not meant, I have to force them, it all depends upon whether they like it or not.
Nobody can change others opinion just for the sake of own happiness or satisfaction.
Talk to him and express your needs, if he still don't performs as you want,. there are 101 guys waiting out, who like doing oral.

jmjoseph
Jan 3, 2010, 06:07 AM
If you love oral, its not necessary that he must love oral as well. The thing is.....he may not at all interested in giving oral or he may totally dislike the idea.
Well as for me i am also a man, but i dilsike the idea of giving oral to any woman, but i like woman giving oral on me, that does not meant, i have to force them, it all depends upon wether they like it or not.
Nobody can change others opinion just for the sake of own happiness or satisfaction.
Talk to him and express your needs, if he still don't performs as you want,............ there are 101 guys waiting out, who like doing oral.

Do you not feel that this is one-sided? And quite selfish? To deny the one you love that special pleasure, yet receiving it? YOU like it, don't you think that SHE would like it as well?

I guess that I am fortunate to enjoy giving almost as much as I do receiving.

scid
Jan 4, 2010, 01:02 AM
Yeah that's selfish not to give her what she wants.

What I would suggest is getting some flavored lube and put that on yourself and have him go down on you. Also, shave down there!

Synnen
Jan 4, 2010, 05:07 AM
Yeah that's selfish not to give her what she wants.

What I would suggest is getting some flavored lube and put that on yourself and have him go down on you. Also, shave down there!

Do YOU shave off your pubic hair before receiving oral? I don't know of that many men that DO.

And frankly, I think women have a better chance of getting a hair down their throat than men do.

Trimming is fine. Everyone should be neat.

But no woman should have to shave her entire pubic area just to get oral sex.

Cat1864
Jan 4, 2010, 05:37 AM
We've been dating for a while, since he doesn't really like to use his fingers.. I'm not usually ready to go in, and when hes done most of the time I'm not..

If he went down on me, it would probably complete my sexual need..
but i have to use a vibrate to make up for the part that isnt filled..
or I'll have him go a few times..

I was going to wait until the op came back and gave her age, but I have decided to make some observations.

1. This isn't about oral sex. This is about an inconsiderate partner (aka: Lazy Lover) who is getting what he wants and not caring about his partner's pleasure.

2. If he won't use his fingers, then why do you think he will use his mouth?

3. There are two different ways to look at sex. One is as a journey filled pleasure and discovery where both people find enjoyment in giving and receiving. The other is as a goal where the only focus is climaxing/orgasm and it is all about getting to that point.

4. This male seems to be all about 'his' climax. That needs to change.

5. He may have hang-ups about the female body. He should be mature enough to discuss his issues.

5. Oral sex may be great but it isn't the answer to all your problems. If he barely uses his fingers which would take little to no effort on his part, he probably wouldn't do much better using his mouth.

6. As one of our experts, Synnen, says, 'If you can't talk about it, then you shouldn't be doing it.'

7. What do you mean by 'I'll have him go a few times'?

smoothy
Jan 4, 2010, 06:31 AM
Here's a point nobody even brought up... and maybe he didn't even tell the OP.

Does she smell bad down there? If she's been out and about all day sweating and whatnot... a woman as well as a man can get pretty funky selling. Wash the dinner plate before you expect someone to chow down.

Even if you showered that morning its normal over the course of a day to develop odors. And even if you wash if you have certain other issues going on (low grade yeast infection and others) they can contribute to foul odors you won't even notice until you literally put your nose right on it.

Personally I will not go down on cavewoman... I'm sorry, if you can shave your armpits, you legs, pluck your eyebrows and use makeup... then jeeze louise... how about some grooming down there. If you don't polish the floors at least mow the grass. If you did NONE of the above then you weren't going out with me, I'd find someone else that did. And I always did find others who believed in grooming.

As Synnen mentioned... its fair too, guys need to groom for the very same reasons for the woman to groom. Nobody likes stray hairs in their mouth... and a dense bush holds funky odors as well... man or woman. If you don't groom then don't expect oral favors... unless cavewoman and cavemen are your sort of kink.

jmjoseph
Jan 4, 2010, 06:34 PM
Here's a point nobody even brought up...and maybe he didn't even tell the OP.

Does she smell bad down there? If she's been out and about all day sweating and whatnot....a woman as well as a man can get pretty funky selling. Wash the dinner plate before you expect someone to chow down.

Even if you showered that morning its normal over the course of a day to develope odors. And even if you wash if you have certain other issues going on (low grade yeast infection and others) they can contribute to foul odors you won't even notice until you literally put your nose right on it.

Personally I will not go down on cavewoman...I'm sorry, if you can shave your armpits, you legs, pluck your eyebrows and use makeup....then jeeze louise...how about some grooming down there. If you don't polish the floors at least mow the grass. If you did NONE of the above then you weren't going out with me, I'd find someone else that did. And I always did find others who believed in grooming.

As Synnen mentioned...its fair too, guys need to groom for the very same reasons for the woman to groom. nobody likes stray hairs in their mouth...and a dense bush holds funky odors as well....man or woman. If you don't groom then don't expect oral favors...unless cavewoman and cavemen are your sort of kink.

I thought that too, about hygiene . But she stated that she "keeps herself very clean ".

smoothy
Jan 5, 2010, 04:50 AM
I thought that too, about hygiene . But she stated that she "keeps herself very clean ".Yeah I know she stated that, but that usually applies to obvious washing. Douching is not recommended on a regular basis by experts in the field so I am not referring to that either. What I mean is some women can have a foul odor even fresh out of the shower. They may be completely unaware of it too. Like I said when your nose is buried in it you will notice even a weak foul odor.

And yes I have been with a woman who was obviously freshly showered that as soon as I started an odor hit me that had me wretching... I'm serious, I almost puked and fought to keep it down... she was mortified, that odor is burned into my sinuses to this day many, many years later. I can't say for a fact WHAT caused it, and no it wasn't the right after her period odor either that lingers for a couple days, and she was a very clean woman. I never saw or heard from her again. Just pointing out it IS possible that the woman isn't aware and few guys would say anything but artfully dodge the subject and avoid that act.

Or as also has been stated... he might be one of those guys who just do not enjoy the pleasures of dining at the "Y".

Cat1864
Jan 5, 2010, 05:38 AM
Smoothy, you bring up some good points, however, this male doesn't even 'really like to use his fingers'. That's why I don't think it is a grooming, smell, taste, etc. issue, but more of an 'all about me' or 'hang-ups' issue.

smoothy
Jan 5, 2010, 12:01 PM
Smoothy, you bring up some good points, however, this male doesn't even 'really like to use his fingers'. That's why I don't think it is a grooming, smell, taste, etc. issue, but more of an 'all about me' or 'hang-ups' issue.True... that does really make it sound like its issues HE has... heck even if he isn't into sticking his nose into it most guys still would love to play with it...