emberandashes
Oct 26, 2009, 07:42 PM
im having the hardest time of my life. I am gay....and dont be all like.. you dont know if your gay, or its just a choice, and stuff like tht.... cuz trust me.. it is NOT a choice and i can assure you tht you are born with it. i have no doubt in my mind. but i digress.
I have tried to accept it. but i cant. i hate myself and dont know how to live with it. everytime i look longingly at a guy i want to punch myself... i would give anything in my life to love a girl... anything. being a christian, i believe partly tht god made me who i am, but i cant see why he would do this... im not sure if god sees homosexuality as a sin or not which is a big part of me hating it. but i still hate it either way if it were or not.... i pray every day for god to take me, but i do not want to commit suicide not only cuz its a form of murder but also because i could never do that to myself...i guess i dont really have a question.. i just am so sick of myself.. and i just need help at the moment
I have tried to accept it. but i cant. i hate myself and dont know how to live with it. everytime i look longingly at a guy i want to punch myself... i would give anything in my life to love a girl... anything. being a christian, i believe partly tht god made me who i am, but i cant see why he would do this... im not sure if god sees homosexuality as a sin or not which is a big part of me hating it. but i still hate it either way if it were or not.... i pray every day for god to take me, but i do not want to commit suicide not only cuz its a form of murder but also because i could never do that to myself...i guess i dont really have a question.. i just am so sick of myself.. and i just need help at the moment





