I have a 18 year old teenage step daughter who lives with my partner and i. She left college this year and has had a car insurance mot and tax paid for. She has had 2 jobs of which she has left due to falling out with people there.She falls out with everyone.holds grudges lies about everythin and anythin she pays no board but refuses to do any house work sayin she has been busy..if busy is lieing in bed till lunch time then ok.she refuses to follow house rules which are be in forr 11pm in week and what ever time at weekend.she constantly tells lies to ppl anf grandma and her dad about wot ever . she has no repect for me or her father.Help

There seems to be one in every family that drives us to distraction. What I came to find out was that that person had issues that evolved into rebellion against everyone and everything. That's best case when they aren't mature the worst is getting involved with drinking and drugs. Sorting out the two sometimes is difficult
Is there anyway you can get her directed into a self help program? Are there any parent groups that you can join that deal with parents of "legal" age teens living at home?
good luck

we have sat down with her and explained tht her actions are hurting a lot of people and she just says ther nothing wrong with wot she doing sher can do what she likes she is 18 we even offered to arrange for her to see a councellor again she just says that it is us lot that make her that way and we have asked why she feels this and she just says cus im 18 and i can do wot i like. she sees that she does no wrong and we cant physically drag her to councelling but it is breaking down my an my partners relationship because he still gives her money and things and doesnt see tht she has to earn this..am i in the wrong for saying dont buy or give her money if she cant show the tinyest bit of respect in the house and cant hold down a job because she gains enemies easily

What is his reason for giving her money and things. That enables her to be irresponsible and at her age, she needs encouragement to be responsible in that is she always going to depend on someone else to support her.
Is there someone else a Family support group that you can contact in your area? Having someone help you is just as important because we tend to get to close to the situation and as frustrated as the others :) mothers want their children to succeed and meet societal standards. The children tend to do this at their own pace and we may want them to speed it up:) When they speed up and then stop and then go slowly it does become frustrating trying to figure out what they are doing good luck

You and your partner have to be on the same page if you are going to affect any change.

He can not enable and reward her nasty behavior by overlooking it and giving in to her whims.

She has no reason to change,she is spoiled and as long as she does not have to suffer any consequence's for her behavior it will continue.

Discuss a plan with your partner that he can stick to and do not waver from that plan.

She may be an adult by law but the bottom line is ,your house,your rules.

If she doesn't like it,serve her with a proper legal eviction.

Father should be made aware that he is doing her a grave injustice by allowing her behavior to go unchecked.

That is not how it is in the real world and he is not preparing her for an independent life if he continues.

It is the lazy way out to give in to her and its all to avoid conflict.Sometimes you need a little conflict to resolve conflict.

Dad needs to step up to the plate and show some backbone.

Well said ArtLady. I didn't get to the part about how her partner is underming her but you said it sooo well