Hi, my name is Paula. I am currently involved in a realtionship with a man that I have known for 9 months now. About 8 months ago, he revealed that he was an alcoholic and has been trying to stop drinking by going to AA meetings on a regular basis. He has been drinking since he was a teenager. Had a horrilbe childhood, suffers from bouts of depression, and is a perfectionist with certain things. He is 50 years old and very handsome. I too am 50. We love each other very much but since we have been together we have had sex 4 times. He totally avoids any kind of sexual contact. As a matter of fact, the last time I slept over his house he actually asked me if I wanted to read. I thought that was outrageous and I got quite annoyed with him although I hid it quite well. I will also tell you that I am a breast cancer survivor and I had a double mastectomy 7 years ago. At the end of January, I am going to undergo reconstructive surgery. He swears that the mastectomy has nothing to do with his lack of desire. If I bring up the subject, he totally changes the topic of conversation. He gives me no sexual inuendos ever. He shows absolutely no interest in making love to me and has accepted the decision that I have made not to sleep at his house anymore quite well. All we do when we go out is go to a movie, dinner, and then I drive him home and he goes his way and I go mine. Can the drinking be destroying his sex drive? He is sober for about 3 weeks or so and then falls off the wagon again. I am really turned off by the lack of interest and of course the drinking. I cannot figure this out. I will tell you that I am positive that he is not gayand that he isn't cheating. I have also asked him if he masturbates and he said that he doesn't although he did tell me that about a month ago he did. I was shocked and upset. He made light of it and said that he really didn't enjoy it at all. I am a very attractive woman and he always tells me that he loves me and that I am beautiful. He also never even looks at other women (I love that). Can you please tell me what you think? I really need some feedback from an expert.