Aug 12, 2009, 05:16 PM
I am new to this but at my wits end. My husband and I have been married 10 years and dated about 8 years prior to getting married. The problem is his best friend. They have been friends since high school, they are now close to 50. The best friend has been divorced every since I have known him. All women are bad, money hungry witches just like his ex-wife. He has had more mini relationships than I can count but no one will put up with him. He has very few male friends except for my husband. I have tried over the years to get him to accept me or us at least be able to tolorate each other. I have invited him to family gatherings, had him a birthday party and encourage golf trips a couple times a year, which they take. He still constantly puts me down even in front of my husband and my husband says nothing. Later when we are alone he explains "that is just how he is". I gave up several years ago and suggested my husband just see him without me. My husband feels bad that he has no family to speak of(his kids will not have anything to do with him), so he invites him to all of our family functions, which ruins holidays for me. He thinks I am after my husbands money which is so untrue. I had my house before we married and he lived with his mother to be close to his children after his divorce which I have never had a problem with. I have always made about 3 times what my husband makes and I told my husband tell his friend that and maybe he will stop some of this. My husband will not tell him because he says if he knows what kind of money I make he will just bug him to take even more guy trips. My husband does not have the same amount of vacation time his friend does and he has a family he likes to take vacation with. My husband and I only argue about this person. If I say anything my husband doesn't speak to me for days. I have recently found out he not only trashes me to my husband but to our adult kids and my husbands family and that he is always after my husband to leave me. He shows up at our house unannounced because he knows it bothers me. My husband gets mad because he is caught in the middle. Most people like me and I have never done anything to this man to be treated the way I am. I realize he will not give up his best friend but how do I get my husband to talk to me about the situation and realize how much this hurts me or am I fighting the inevitable?