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ginger
Apr 28, 2004, 09:51 PM
Hello. I am new to this site. I have an 18 year old whom just moved out. All we do is argue. He calls me terrible names. He treats me so badly that I had to kick him out. I just don't get it. I helped him get a car twice and even let him be quoted on our insurance. He works full time and has no bills. Doesn't pay rent or anything. He owes me money and has been slowly payibg me back. Now that he has moved out he says he forgot he owes me? Spent all his check. He doesn't seem to care about his family or responsibilities he has. I have tried so hard and now he treats me worse than ever. So what do I do now?

mtybaldone
Apr 29, 2004, 06:14 AM
Ginger,
Sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds very painful for you.
I think you did the right thing by kicking him out, though. If he's eighteen and working, he should get no free ride unless he is respecting you.
I would say that this is just what 18 year-old boys do, they hate their mothers, but it does sound like he is going above and beyond normal behavior.
Is he drinking or doing drugs, where is his father and could that be an unresolved issue for him?
I know it hurts, but it sounds like you need to just leave him alone for a bit. If he is not paying his debts, then cancel his insurance, just stop supporting him altogether. Let him try to make it on his own.
Let him know that you love him and are here to help him, but that he must treat you with respect, and if he can not, then these are the consequences. No different from when he was four.
I hated my mother at that age. At sixteen I moved out of her house and in with my father because I couldn't stand being near her. I felt like she was always on my case about something and she felt like I had no respect for her. It took until I was 27 until I finally came around to really love and appreciate her. She's still a pain in my butt, but I've accepted that she says and does those things because she loves me and wants the best for me.
As long as he does not have issues with drinking or drugs, then I'd say it is all part of growing up. Boys need to separete themselves from their mother's arms to become men. It is painful for both, but it will take him some time until he realizes how much he loves his Mom, that is why you need to disconnect and let him find it on his own.
Best of luck.

EVS
May 30, 2004, 11:22 PM
Hi there

From my experience, your son may make out that he hates you at present, but he is only 18 years old this is typical of teenagers at that point in their lives.

I would look for something that he is hiding from you... You have touched a nerve somewhere that he does not like at all.

You are going to have to adopt TOUGH LOVE attitude with him abd carry on with your life, as if he does not exist... This is hard, I know.

However, if I can help further please do not hesitate to contact me.

Regards
Peanuts

tree
Jul 11, 2004, 06:31 PM
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with your son.
Take the advise about cutting your son off financially, unless he makes his payments to you on time. If he is late then cut him off. He will respect you more for holding to your word. I was in the same situation with my daughter. She did not talk to me for almost three months unless she wanted something. I would not give in and she has finally come around. I hope it works for you.

Jahiem28
Jul 30, 2004, 10:27 AM
Kids sometime rebel for crazy reasons. You can be the perfect parent( ;D) which I have not met one). And they still mess up. If u truly want your money take me to court and embarrass him. You deserve better than that. A child of your has no right to disrespect you like that. Also I would stop giving him any money. This is what you call tough love. GOOD LUCK!!
In the end kids realize there mistake they just have to be man or woman enough acknowledge they were wrong.

artistall
Sep 7, 2004, 06:08 PM
What you need to understand is that he does not really hate you! He has personal issues that he is trying to resolve within himself that are very difficult for him as he is not mature enough to understand the complexities of these issues. Unfortunately you are the target of his misdirected aggressions. Understanding his problem is the first step towards the healling process! However, maintaining your own emotional well being right now is of greater importance. Once you can discontinue reacting to his behavior you can begin to repair this problem. Always remain calm when dealing with your son. Never let him think that he is pushing your buttons or is in anyway controlling the conversations. Try to get him to own up to his problem and suggest counseling with the understanding that you can no longer cope with his behavior. He is your child and you will always love him therefore let him know that. Give him a smile no matter what! Helping him out is not the problem and is not fueling any fire. Many parents spend fortunes on there children without disastrous results. Your son has a problem which is beyond your capacity as a parent. You need the advice of a professional counselor that you can find locally in your area. Go to your Church or call a family mental health clinic or call AA for a meeting of "Families of Abusers" you will be surprised how many people like yourself go through the same thing. You will meet others that can share with you and hopefully you will find a solution. For now it's up to your son to find the answers to his problems and peace within himself! Don't blame yourself! Good Luck!

flipz
Jan 29, 2005, 07:24 PM
Sorry if this post is too long but here it goes. Maybe I could give you a better view from a person my age (your son). From birth to about 15-17 years old our relationship was fine and nothing could be better. At about 17-19 years old we started getting into the biggest fights over nothing and words were exchanged that were horrible. At around these ages, between school, work, friends who you thought were your friends ditch you, relationship problems and just all the pressure on what you want to become in the future. I did not want to admit that to my parents because it would make me feel weak and not a strong indvidual so I ended up taking out all my problems on my mother and even father at times. Within seconds of talking with my mom we got into a fight that turned huge and then we avoided each other and made up but it always felt fake because we knew the fight would happen again. I also got a full brainspec test done and it came up that I was bipolar,anxious,adhd and other possible things which also triggered my horrible mood swings and attitude. Maybe have a generalized test done to see if it's a mental problem or just a phase (research shows that most people don't relieze they have a disorder until after high school when reality hits them... but don't get me wrong I am not saying your son has a disorder or anything, just a opinion based on how you described him and how I felt because I was the same). I'm 21 now and we don't fight anymore (maybe a little bicker once a month that we laugh about and don't let it go into a fight) and its just a phase a lot of teenagers go through because its hard time for them and it turns into taking it out on people who they feel cannot or will give the least punishment (who they could get away yelling at most). At the time I did drugs socially but it didn't effect the fighting because it would happen regardless anywhere we were and if I was sober or not. I know this post is really late but it just signed up to this place and a question I asked came up with your post. Take care... jason.

sad mom
Feb 9, 2005, 02:48 PM
Hello

I can't believe that my life has come to me posting about my son hating me. I am devastated. He won't speak to me, he won't pick up the phone... nothing.

He left our home just after he turned 19 and he moved into the home of his 15 year old girl friend. This is NOT my son, but the girl's parents, who are teachers, encouraged the relationship.. I won't go into all the details.. just suffice it to say that he has told me that:

He hopes I die in a car accident
He wants to bash my head against a steering wheel


This is all after his girlfriend's parents called the police on me because I told that that I was going to have to contact the Teachers Federation if they continuted to counsel my son in the direction of not speaking to me.

I later found out that he told that that I have physcially abused him throughout his life.

He told his bes friend that I verbally abused him

Why is telling these terrible lies? Why does he hate me so much.. he will not tell me... that is part of the pain...

I don't know.. I am not OK right now and maybe I am not making much sense.. there is so much to tell...

Sad Mom

ab-solute
Dec 10, 2005, 03:54 PM
Hello. I am new to this site. I have an 18 year old whom just moved out. All we do is argue. He calls me terrible names. He treats me so badly that I had to kick him out. I just don't get it. I helped him get a car twice and even let him be quoted on our insurance. He works full time and has no bills. Doesn't pay rent or anything. He owes me money and has been slowly payibg me back. Now that he has moved out he says he forgot he owes me? Spent all his check. He doesn't seem to care about his family or responsibilities he has. I have tried so hard and now he treats me worse than ever. So what do I do now?

I have a 19 year old and it's very challenging at times. I think you did the right thing by having him move out. I didn't appreciate my mother and all she did for me until I had to start doing everything on my own. Teenagers think they know it all and are very self-centered. But, time will pass and most all of us grew up and made it.. so don't worry about it too much. Just keep moving on with your life. He should come around.

ishhaa
Dec 13, 2005, 07:14 PM
Hello

I can't believe that my life has come to me posting about my son hating me. I am devestated. He won't speak to me, he won't pick up the phone...nothing.

Sad Mom

Dear Sad Mom,
I could tell you stories for days about the pain my son has caused me, about how much he's broken my heart after 20 years of love and effort on my part. Was I perfect? Nope. Did I do everything I did because I loved him. Absolutely. Does it count for anything? Not a bit; not in his head. So what do you do? You have to live. You only get one shot; you only live once. My opinion is that I already wasted 20 years. Why should I waste anymore? This opinion came after YEARS of mourning, heartache, and counseling.

Here's a little snapshot of the most recent things he's done.
My son joined the Army after he flunked out of a semester of school because he was drinking and partying. I'm against the war, so what a great way to get me. Now? He's in Iraq. The Army hasn't done much for his emotional maturity! He sure has learned to be a numb, cold, jerk though. He wouldn't speak to me for over a year. A girlfriend of his (who we were letting live with us - VERY long story) got into his email and bank account because he was cheating on her. I told her this was a bad idea. To cover her own butt, she lied and said I told her to do that! Did he talk to me about it? Nope. He didn't speak to me for over a year. Is this why he's mad at me? Who knows. He was already being a jerk LONG before that!! Will he tell me what he's mad about? Nope. I found this out from his... wife... and I didn't know he'd gotten married either! (By the way, he's already separated because he cheated on her... with this other girlfriend he'd already been cheating on, who he cheated with on another girlfriend. What a sad person!) On top of that, he didn't tell me he was deployed either time he was deployed - I found this out from the wife I didn't know about, too. Enough of a story to get who this person is?

In fact my son hasn't bothered to be nice to me or his father in probably four years.

My solution? After TONS of counseling, I have made a choice. I choose not to be abused, and that is what his behavior is. He is an adult. This is abuse, plain and simple. I am 100% clear that the more time I spend chasing after him, the more time I'm wasting, and the more I will be hurt. I am 100% clear that there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to change his behavior.

So Sad Mom, the #1 thing that you can do for yourself is recognize that there is absolutely nothing you can do except take care of you.

Each of us is in charge of our own behavior. It takes two people to work on a relationship. If only one of you is working on the relationship, nothing's going to change. My advice? Move on, no matter how hard it is. Get a really good counselor/psychologist/coach, tell them the whole story to get it off your chest, and then find a way to move forward a little each day. It's worse than mourning; I know. The person isn't dead - they're still walking around hurting you more. I've spent many many days wishing I was dead so I'd never have to think about him again, so I'd never have to be hurt by him again. I've wished I would have had another child. I've wished I would have had an abortion. I've wished all kinds of things, but in the end, it is as it is.

Both of our sons are going to have bad lives until they come back and deal with their momma issues. All we can do is hope they don't hurt too many other people before they figure this out - a boy treats his women the way he treats his momma. Girls, stay away from the boys who have momma issues!

I'm so sorry, Sad Mom. It's really hard to have this in your life when everyone else has kids they're proud of that come home from college on the weekend, or call to let you know they're okay. It sucks, but the sooner you accept it for what it is, the sooner you can have a life again. You deserve it.

Take care of yourself.
CJ

sad mom
Jan 24, 2006, 07:15 PM
Thank you for responding to me. I am sorry that your son is like this as well.

My son comes around now.. but he isn't the person he used to be. Sometimes I feel like he might be back a little, but every time he has anything to do with this girl he is really nasty. He is still with her. It makes me ill.

I am taking care of myself though now.. I've changed my way of life, and I exercise 6 days a week and just generally take better care of myself. I've moved on with my life.

I pray for the day when he will be my son again, but I now know that I have to live.

Thank you for your kind and wise words.

AKaeTrue
Feb 6, 2006, 12:34 AM
Dear sadmom,
Seems like you need to build a relationship with your son. Start from scratch. Forgive all old debts (are they really worth fighting over?) Call where your son is living just to see how he is doing. If he talks to you, just ask how he is doing and nothing more. If he will not talk to you leave a message that you were just thinking about him and wanted to know how he is doing and that you love him, and leave it at that. Remember, you are his mother and because of that he loves you regardless of how he perceives his upbringing , he is just angry and confused at the moment, but time heals all wounds if no new ones are created. I believe if you go about this in an unselfish way, he will come around.
Also, people tend to remember and dwell over all the negative things in their past whereas the positive things go un thought of and forgotten. It's sad but true. If you said one unkind thing to your son in his life, he'll remember that before he remembers the thousand good & kind things you've said to him.
I hope things work out, and truly believe working on a relationship is a good first step.
Good luck!
-Kae

starlight38us
May 6, 2006, 03:35 PM
I also have a child that just moved out. I always had sole custody of my 16 year old son. The past year we grew apart. He is very self-absorbed. He was disrespectful to me and we argued a lot. He didn't like my interference in his life. We were going to counseling and with the counselors advice, I started setting rules which he didn't like. With the help of my ex, my son moved out breaking my heart. Now I've been served court papers for him getting sole custody with no visitation for me. They are treating me like Im a bad mother. My son doesn't even miss me. I spent the past 16 years trying to raise my son. Sure I had my faults, but I always tried my hardest for him. Now he is telling people that it was bad living here with me and he couldn't handle it. He caused a lot of grief for me when he was here. I was advised by my counselor to stay away and not to contact him. It's only been a month and its hard. I have also been treated for depression. Good luck to you. I realize now that we need to take care of ourselves. On my sons website, he has a quote"take care of yourself first, the others will live", which is yet another selfish remark. I don't know if my son will ever realize how much he hurt me. I hope he grows up and realizes that he needs me in his life. Good luck to you..

ElaineT
May 6, 2006, 03:45 PM
:)
I also have a child that just moved out. I always had sole custody of my 16 year old son. The past year we grew apart. He is very self-absorbed. He was disrespectful to me and we argued alot. He didnt like my interference in his life. We were going to counseling and with the counselors advice, I started setting rules which he didnt like. With the help of my ex, my son moved out breaking my heart. Now I've been served court papers for him getting sole custody with no visitation for me. They are treating me like Im a bad mother. My son doesnt even miss me. I spent the past 16 years trying to raise my son. Sure I had my faults, but I always tried my hardest for him. Now he is telling people that it was bad living here with me and he couldn't handle it. He caused alot of grief for me when he was here. I was advised by my counselor to stay away and not to contact him. It's only been a month and its hard. I have also been treated for depression. Good luck to you. I realize now that we need to take care of ourselves. On my sons website, he has a quote"take care of yourself first, the others will live", which is yet another selfish remark. I dont know if my son will ever realize how much he hurt me. I hope he grows up and realizes that he needs me in his life. Good luck to you..:)
:)

christinewest-stephen
May 6, 2006, 05:36 PM
Hey ginger one thing I can tell you is that my brother was a lot like your son and my parnts had to do the same as you did but try not to worry too much as my brother got older he got better and now at 23 years old he has settled down and is more respectful to my parents he has also suddenly remebered the money he borroed form my mom and dad and is payong it back.

luvlylin36
Sep 20, 2007, 10:41 AM
Hello. I am new to this site. I have an 18 year old whom just moved out. All we do is argue. He calls me terrible names. He treats me so badly that I had to kick him out. I just don't get it. I helped him get a car twice and even let him be quoted on our insurance. He works full time and has no bills. Doesn't pay rent or anything. He owes me money and has been slowly payibg me back. Now that he has moved out he says he forgot he owes me? Spent all his check. He doesn't seem to care about his family or responsibilities he has. I have tried so hard and now he treats me worse than ever. So what do I do now?
Hello . I am new to this site too. My son is 15 and is going to be with his dad for one school yr. to see how it goes. His dad hates me and my whole side of my family. I have a family reunion this Saturday and I am suppose to see him there and suppose to see him once a month , is how I had the court order made up. The guidance councelor at his new school (school I went to as a kid) told me that my son does not want to see me or talk to me. Now I get a letter from his dads attorney that was sent to my attorney and it said that my son wishes to have no further contact with me his sister, his two younger brothers and all of his cousins. My sons dad has always run me into the ground and has run my whole family into the ground since both my son and daughter were little. My daughter was strong enough to stand up to her dad.so in the new court order she only has to visit her dad if she wants to.

I am a mess over this, no-one understands why he feels this way besides his real dad putting crap into his head. I always done everything I could for him and let him know I loved him. I just do not understand this at all. His real dad reminds me of manson or hitler.

baseballmom14
Oct 2, 2007, 02:46 PM
Hello. I am new to this site. I have an 18 year old whom just moved out. All we do is argue. He calls me terrible names. He treats me so badly that I had to kick him out. I just don't get it. I helped him get a car twice and even let him be quoted on our insurance. He works full time and has no bills. Doesn't pay rent or anything. He owes me money and has been slowly payibg me back. Now that he has moved out he says he forgot he owes me? Spent all his check. He doesn't seem to care about his family or responsibilities he has. I have tried so hard and now he treats me worse than ever. So what do I do now?
He's trying to spread his wings, just ignore for for a couple of days, be rude back him. Always say treat others as you want then to treat you.. when he gives you that what's wrong with momma look or ask what's wrong with you. Let him know . My heart goes out to you. Ive been through it , but after a month, its gotten better!! Now he calls more, talks better with me and shows repect.

luvlylin36
Oct 6, 2007, 12:54 PM
hes tryin to spread his wings, just ignore for for a couple of days, be rude back him. always say treat others as you want then to treat you.. when he gives you that whats wrong with momma look or ask whats wrong with you. let him know . My heart goes out to you. Ive been through it , but after a month, its gotten better !!! now he calls more, talks better with me and shows repect.


I really don't think he is going to come around and me being mean back to him won't change things. Then his dad will just put more false crap in his head like he has since he was little. At least I raised him for his first 15 years of his life. And he got his sweet side from me. I went to his school parent teacher conference ( 3 hours away from me). And the teachers said how he is a good kid and that he is so sweet.

Well guess I will see how things go. I still have not talked to him. His dad discourages him from talking or seeing any of my family. He even kept him from the family reunion my whole side of the family has every year.


Lin

N0help4u
Oct 6, 2007, 05:56 PM
I agree with Akaetrue
Let what your son owes you go if you can afford to. Maybe don't say you are not holding him responsible for paying you back but don't mention it again. When moms hold things like that over their kids head they think they are teaching them responsibility when more often than not the kid is learning and hearing resentment and nagging mom. You are getting him to learn responsibility by making him get out on his own.
Don't mention the money any more at all and if he hands you some money here and there fine. If he doesn't be more careful in lending him any more.
My younger daughter always thought she knew better than me about how to deal with life in general and she treated me like I was stupid or something. Now that she is on her own she sees it isn't as simple as she thought. She still doesn't want to spend time with me but she now realizes and tells me that I did the best I could to raise them with what I had.
Give it time and be more of a friend that is there for your son rather than a mom trying to make him do the right thing so he sees you in a different light and he will come around.

luvlylin36
Oct 6, 2007, 06:29 PM
My son does not owe me money. He is 15 years old. His dad kept taking me to court for years trying to get custody of him and of my daughter. My son and my husband did not get along very well once my son hit the teen years. And my husband was a bit hard on him at times, but then my son did not always listen which is because his real dad would tell him to not listen. He would tell my son that "hay son, don't take any **** from him.(which is my husband).

Finally, I just got tired of it all and of him dowgrading me and my whole family in front of the kids. So, I made a deal. The deal: My daughter would not have to visit him anymore and that my son would see me once a month, on family reunion day, and on every other holiday. That's the new court order right now.

Now, my dumb ex won't let my son see me. I have not seen him since August 10th, 2007.
Right now there is a contempt hearing set for Nov. 1st 2007. And I hope they nail him for this. My mom is my sons only living grandemother left and his dad is turning him away from us all.


Sick and tired.

augustsun
Oct 27, 2007, 06:28 PM
Hi, the answers here are really strange to me because I am going through the same scenario. My son acts like I don't know him and never did. He calls me shameful names, tells me to bury myself in possessions and that I am a lying pig, a lying pig?? He broke into my house and broke the external windows. The month before, I had to call the cops so he would stop harassing me in my own home. He moved out. This month, I had to pick him so so he could use my car and he freaked out saying I was 15 minutes late. I wasn't. He said that I apologized for being late the next day. I didn't. He freaked out and it's come to this.

The reason why I say that your answers are strange is that your sons are 18. Mine is 23. Does this mean he's a late bloomer or that he is psychotic for sure? I'm really serious. It's very scary. We don't talk to each other at all... mainly because he hasn't made one attempt to do so and because I am way too shocked to even attempt to.

I think the advice here is correct: Let them be. No contact is the best. I can honestly say that I don't miss him... I'm too shocked to feel anything. I just hope he comes out of this soon. It's really sad because before this, we were very, very close. Perhaps that is the problem. Nevertheless, I have no guilt about this at all. I'm done with guilt. I'm a good person who just happened to be surrounded by a sick family and I'm just becoming able to pull myself out of it. Me thinks that I am alone in my survivorhood. Take care all...

sadmomincalif
Dec 22, 2007, 03:42 PM
[QUOTE=augustsun]Hi, the answers here are really strange to me because I am going through the same scenario. My son acts like I don't know him and never did. He calls me shameful names, tells me to bury myself in possessions and that I am a lying pig, a lying pig??
The reason why I say that your answers are strange is that your sons are 18. Mine is 23. Does this mean he's a late bloomer or that he is psychotic for sure? I'm really serious. It's very scary. We don't talk to each other at all... mainly because he hasn't made one attempt to do so and because I am way too shocked to even attempt to.

I think the advice here is correct: Let them be. No contact is the best. I can honestly say that I don't miss him... I'm too shocked to feel anything. I just hope he comes out of this soon. It's really sad because before this, we were very, very close. Perhaps that is the problem. ****

I am new to this site as well. I am so sad right now, and cannot cry because I am the caregiver to my terminally ill mother. I am truly sandwiched. My son is 21, 22 in March and he has for the last 5 years been a stranger to me. This year he started to act more like a human being again, but it doesn't take much to set him off. He and I cannot be in the same room and talk over 5 minutes without the energy going to negative.
I feel so sad and alone. I know that others are going through this as well, but I feel like I have done everything the last 22 yrs. Totally wrong. I am not sure what to say anymore.

augustsun
Dec 22, 2007, 04:13 PM
Hi Sadmom... I'm sad too. It's hard to take, isn't it? How can you raise someone that you loved so much, sacrificed so much for and yet they can't stand you? My son responded to an email about my having some stuff that he left here (he has his own apartment now), all he could do is be beligerant and accusatory, wanting so much for me to admit my wrongs. I was very calm and kept to the subject, as I really have no guilt in my raising him. But no matter what, it still hurts worse than any pain that I could ever hope to suffer. I just want you to know that I am with you in this. I wish I could just talk it over with you, be there, because a pain like this, only a mother could understand. Let's just try to have the best new year and pray that they will have the best new year too. 1ove...

sadmomincalif
Dec 22, 2007, 08:14 PM
I am sitting in my mothers home. I am 49 yrs old and she is terminally ill. I have a 21 yr son, who hates me. This afternoon I went over to our condo to just get a break from here, and he has a cold. So, I asked him if he wanted me to cook some food for him, he said no. He asked what I was doing there. I said I needed a break, and if he was not still mad at me, maybe we could talk a bit, if not I just wanted to watch some TV in my room and rest. He said nothing so I went in my room and of course, then he talked. I own my business and he works the store for me when I am helping mom. He really wants to grow the business, yet he refuses to accept that I am the one in charge of making the decisions that affect the bottom line. I let him have lots of freedom, and when I tell or share or write or any other way of communicating the goal or reason for my decision, he argues and then the fighting starts.

That is what happened yesterday, he was at the store, and he kept calling me and wanting to talk about the bookkeeping. I said write down your questions and comments and I will review them and we can talk about them one item at a time. He said I was disrespecting him and after a few heated calls, he informed me he was closing my store and good luck. He left. I had to secure my mom, and then I went down there and picked up the money and made sure the door were locked. They were. I then called a former employee and offerred her 3 days a week after the holidays.

Well, this morning, he was once again, telling me what a mis-managed person I am and that he saw the problems and had "solutions" he proceeded to go on about his solutions. Never once mentions that he is a problem. He said I was not to interuppt him and let him talk for 30 min. After about 10 minutes, I said, "it is impossible to have a conversation with you. I cannot keep up with all the items and then be able to discuss one, because you are on to ten other things. " He said I was slow and not smart. Mind you, I have a BS degree, a contractors license and raised him alone. Father left at conception.

I took a deep breath and he continued, I finally said, "this is not your problem, because I hired Elenore." At that point, he got so angry. I said you walked out yesterday and told me you were not coming back. This is not the first time you have walked on the store. What did you think was going to happen. I am not held hostage to your tyranny. He said I was using him, that I was mentally ill, that I had abused him his whole life, that is why he could trash me so easily. He said I was a whore, don't know where that came from, but it got thrown in the mix of verbal abuse. I finally said, I cant listen to this anymore. I went in my room and started to break, then I just decided to leave. I have not been back. I feel so sad, so tired of this. We were close. Were being the key word. Now he cant stand me and I miss him until things like today happen and once again, we are not family, that's how it feels.

If I knew the pain having a child would bring, I would have had an abortion and had my tubes tied. I am such a loser. I failed.

sadmomincalif
Dec 23, 2007, 07:16 AM
It is the next day.
He called me last night and apologized.

That was good. It seems that human beings are more complex than just the simple sad/happy/mad emotions.

I am educated in child development, yet, I am hurt and stunned when my adult (according the number of birthdays=adult) treats me.

I read on sites like these, and the 12 step program seems to pop up, the serenity prayer applies to every situation and for the most part, even with all the information available, the answer is "this too shall pass."

So, dear readers, for today, my "situation" has passed. I am sure there will be more, hopefully and it seems to be less frequent.

As parents, we must stay strong when that is the last thing we want or can do. As guardians of the future generations, we must keep our eye on the goal- To raise fully functioning adults.

I am tired, thank you for letting me share. Thank you to this site for being here for me.