my name is lewis and i am 13. i have a mum, dad and sister. my mum and dad are both alcoholics and my sisters 15 and the age where she keeps arguing with my mum and dad.
i am fed up and am so miserable i cry myself to sleep. then when im doing my homework they always argue and my grades are dropping. please help me, i have no one to turn to. i cry as i write this hoping that someone can help

please...please...please..........help me!!!!

Please contact your counselor at school. This is a very dangerous environment for you to be living in. There is no reason that you should have to live like this. Some of the arguing that happens is norm, as your sister is a teenager. However, the added alcholoism most likely takes it to the level that you are finding to be unbearable. I am sorry that you don't have peace in your home and I hope that you are able to find it soon.

thank you for your response, it helped a lot. unfortunately, im a bit too shy to speak to anyone face to face

write a note to your teacher/counselor or principal and let them know what is happening and that you are asking for help. Can you speak to your parents to let them know how this is affecting you?

i could try to ask my parents but it's hard to find a time when their not drunk

Also, i would just like to say that im really scared because my mum was in a comer 3years ago and it started with liver enlargement. she recently went for a scan and she has slight liver enlargement as well as a 90% risk of heart disease and im really scared that history will repeat itself


thank you for all your responses and they really helped

If you want assistance for yourself and your family, you are going to have to talk to someone outside of that social circle.

Sometimes it is very difficult to share our problems/unfortune with other people, but believe me that there isn't anything to be scared of vocalizing to another adult you feel confident with. You and your sister are trying to handle an adult situation that is beyond your control.

There is no shame in asking for help. It shows alot of maturity and strength to seek counsel when you are in a situation that you alone can not handle.

You have been put in a very stressful situation, through no fault of your own. To live with such upheaval, and stress, is unhealthy, and not at all acceptable. You have every reason to expect a better, more stable life, with sober parents. Their actions are their own, and are not a result of anything you have done.

It is important that you realize you have choices here. One is to remain silent, and continue to be adversely affected by a situation you have no control over. That will result in more sadness and upset for you, continued falling grades, depression, and physical problems resulting from poor sleep, poor nutrition and inadequate support, nurturing and love.

When people drink, to the extent you have described, they choose to take that path that alienates them from their responsibilities to their children. They choose to drink, and in so doing, everybody around them suffers as you are experiencing. These choices satisfy their needs, but not yours. You are at the mercy of when, how much, and the aftermath of what their drinking consequences are. Your silence will not make your life better.

One choice you have is as others have said, talk to a trusted adult, teacher, counsellor, even your family doctor, a mental health clinic, Alanon, a relative, a friends parent, a church pastor, the Children's Protection Agency, an 800 teen help line.

What you will find is that your concerns are valid, and you are in a dangerous situation where you basic needs are not being met. You cannot have two alcoholic parents, and a safe environment at the same time. What you need is information, guidance, and options, and in order to get that, you have to speak out.

Before you feel any worse, or continue to live the way you are, please, call somebody, go and talk to someone face to face, let it all out, and gain the understanding, perspective and wisdom you need to make choices, and/or, learn how to cope without losing yourself in the process.

It really is up to you.

thank you for all the responses that everyone has given

I hope you will post again and let us know how you are doing. Sometimes a start is just talking, and there are many good people here who have experience and insight into the problems you have described.

Keep in touch if you can.

i will

my dad is an alcoholic and you can NOT talk to him.. he also does drugs... its hard to tell them something when they dont want to listen they are too busy down and out worrying about their own problems... than worrying about their kids .. i felt the way you do i dropped out of school because of it...=/

hi, things have gotten to a whole new level :( my dad is getting a lot better but my mum is gettin worse. she calls the police because she thinks that my dad is trying to hurt her and he is only looking out for her safety and guiding her where she needs to go. she has recently been in hospital again because she had 3 fits in the car. :( my dad is doin everything he can but its not enough and we are preparing for the worst. we need some place to take her, anywhere, we have tried rehabilitation but that only stopped her for 7 and a half weeks. now its spiralling outa control. i need help from someone.

there must be someone, somewhere



i need help :(

Please talk to a counsellor. It's been said before but its true. Let us know

Hi, I am really sorry you are going through this, especially as you are so young. I had alcoholism on both sides of my family so I completely understand what you mean. The mood swings (nice as pie one day, terrible as the devil himself the next), the constant living on a knife edge, drunken arguments etc.

Have you a relative or close friend's parent whom you know will keep your confidentiality initially while things may improve? This will at least be an outlet for you for the time being.

Its a very positive step that your dad is taking, but at the moment his priority I guess is your mum. I'm afraid, that again, I have been in this position and if I could give you a huge hug I would. Heres a cyber ((((hug))))

Take care and you are doing brilliantly,

K

thanks, all my relatives think im exagerrating so thats out the window

(((((hug))))) bak
thx for all comments