I am 25 and have a beautiful 6 month old boy with my boyfriend. He is a wonderful and loving father and splits parenting duties (such as changing diapers) with me sometime picking up my slack. My boyfriends father is a drinker and his father was one too. I had a very difficult childhood and have craved a little nitche for myself and found my happiness and inner strength. I hate how disruptive my life has become when I only want love and happiness.I am so confused because my boyfriend and I broke up years ago because of his addiction problem. Years went by and we met back up and I became convinced that he had changed. Oh I was wrong. He drinks and not everyday but he has strong tendencies to get too drunk and defensive and mean and rude and nasty name calling, but only to me. We have a had a long road together including the loss of a baby. After our loss I drank too for a few months. All we did was fight and it was ugly. I stopped and got my act together because it was so unhealthy. I am sorry this is not a very organized piece but I am so fed up with his bs and lies of stopping.
He is going to his school for his masters and I for my undergrad. I want to leave him and take the baby. I have now realized that I do not want to shoulder the responsibilty of being with someone who struggles with such a serious addiction problem. He has since not used drugs but when he talks about them he gets a smile I never see on his face and he gleam in his eye. Sometimes he can go for weeks without drinking but since he is also taking Paxil for depression, when he drinks with his meds it just makes things so much worse. I came home the other night after being out with friends for a birthday ( I never go out anymore) and my baby boy was screaming and yelling and crying on the kitchen floor and my boyfriend was passed out on the couch. They had fallen asleep with the baby on his stomach and he had rolled off and hit the floor. No one knows how long he had been on the floor or if he had been knocked out. I am and was furious. this is an extreme case he is not always like this but to me this is unacceptable. He has also pushed me around while holding the baby making him cry.
I know how sad it will make him but I know I deserve better and a chance for love and respect. I know first hand how bad it is growing up in a house of abuse no matter what kind, vow I will not subject my boy to it. i do not want him seeing his parents fight and his mom cry and his dad staggering around.Please can I get some advice? How do I leave him? We live together and if I moved out, I would want to leave the state. How do I sitck to my guns because I have said this enough times before and I want to feel happy and good about myself again. He has drank every night since the accident and still feels embarrased but does not think drinking has anyting to do with it. I love this man but no longer am in love with him or have any desire for him nor do I see any of the good qualities that once made me so happy. Help!:confused:

i am so sorry about your position right now but i have some what of the same story. i was with my ex, my oldest daughters dad, for five years and he had a few habits. it took me so long to find the strength and courage to finally leave but he did something unspeakable and i just couldn't take it anymore- so i got pissed- and i had to close myself off to him- and i mean no pity cuz i fell for it every time (he was a crier), and when he wouldn't leave- i took myself to my mothers and just waited it out. in the long run it's all about will power and this is when i found mine. your baby's already been hurt, no matter what- GET AWAY!! if all else fails- the YWCA is the safest place you can go.

Thanks for the support. I have been so stressed lately I dropped a class that I was doing really well in because I could not handle the work load with so many personal problems going on right now. I have not been sleeping. This is not like me but I do not have the first clue as to what steps to take to leave this man. I am sure that he will be nice to me and not get stupid drunk for a week or two and then it will happen again. How do I leave and where do I go???? It is sad because it is not my ideal situation to bring a child into the world and then split up. He is a wonderful happy baby and I want him to not be sad because of parental fighting.

why do you think i stayed with my ex for so long? the terrible thing is that out of everything else, he was a decent dad. only you can decide the best way to leave, every relationship is different and only you know him well enough to decifer how he'll likely react. i would just suggest you do it before he drinks again and after you do, he'll probably go on a binge so stay away for awhile. if i were still in your position, i would stay with friends and apply for assistance until i got back on my feet. either way sweets, i wish you the best of luck and i'm begging you not to go back.

honestly the advice i might give you is: just leave him!!!!!!In your position and having a baby with that guy the first thing I might think is my baby.That guy is not setting an example to the baby as a father cause of the inmature way he's acting........as a mother you have to think about rising in a healthy and responsible manner to your child..remember what you child saw is what he'll probably do when old!think about your child first........