talaniman
Aug 23, 2008, 07:20 AM
Growing Old (http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-396676-222787)
A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays.
During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each.
Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world.
The fairy waved her wand and boom! The wife had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn and the fairy assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart's desire.
He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, honestly, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand and kazoom! The husband turned 90!
A Woman's Dream (http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-396677-743703)
A woman is sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, middle-aged man enters.
He is so striking that the woman can not take her eyes off him. The man notices her overly attentive stares and walks directly toward her.
Before she can offer her apologies for rudely staring he leans over and whispers, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do for $20... But, on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asks what the condition is. The man replies, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considers his proposition for a moment and then removes a $20 bill from her purse, which she presses into the man's hand along with her address.
She then looks deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully says, "Clean my house!"
Toilet Paper (http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-396678-548005)
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Not sure because it never happens.
Wanna Play House? (http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-396679-865334)
A little girl and a little boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Johnny, wanna play house?"
He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replied, "I want you to communicate."
He said to her, "That word is too big. I have no idea what it means."
The little girl smirked and said, "Perfect. You can be the husband!"
A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays.
During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each.
Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world.
The fairy waved her wand and boom! The wife had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn and the fairy assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart's desire.
He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, honestly, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand and kazoom! The husband turned 90!
A Woman's Dream (http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-396677-743703)
A woman is sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, middle-aged man enters.
He is so striking that the woman can not take her eyes off him. The man notices her overly attentive stares and walks directly toward her.
Before she can offer her apologies for rudely staring he leans over and whispers, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do for $20... But, on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asks what the condition is. The man replies, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considers his proposition for a moment and then removes a $20 bill from her purse, which she presses into the man's hand along with her address.
She then looks deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully says, "Clean my house!"
Toilet Paper (http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-396678-548005)
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Not sure because it never happens.
Wanna Play House? (http://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-396679-865334)
A little girl and a little boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Johnny, wanna play house?"
He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replied, "I want you to communicate."
He said to her, "That word is too big. I have no idea what it means."
The little girl smirked and said, "Perfect. You can be the husband!"