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View Full Version : How to properly place employees


magprob
Jun 22, 2008, 07:58 PM
1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.

2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.

3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.

4. Then analyze the situation:

A. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.

B. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.

C. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

D. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

E. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

F. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

G. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

H. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

I. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

J. If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.

K. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

L. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.


Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

frangipanis
Jun 22, 2008, 09:02 PM
That all makes perfectly good sense magprob :)

I liked this about job interviews:

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

- An applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
- An applicant wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
- An applicant fell and broke his arm during the interview.
- A candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office.
- An applicant explained that her long-term goal was to replace the interviewer.
- A candidate said he had never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
- A balding candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
- An applicant said that if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
- An applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
- A candidate brought a large dog to interview.
- An applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed while standing up.
- One candidate dozed off during interview.

magprob
Jun 22, 2008, 09:20 PM
I believe every one of those things happened and I believe those are not even the worst of it.

frangipanis
Jun 22, 2008, 09:31 PM
I can believe it.

ISneezeFunny
Jun 23, 2008, 02:54 AM
- A candidate said he had never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

... they said the interview was going to be kept confidential.

... lawsuit!

twinkiedooter
Jun 23, 2008, 01:30 PM
That was truly hilarious. I love the bricks scenerio. Love the interviews also. Can I stop laughing now before my boss catches me?