n/m

You stop seeing him completely period, he is married and you are not being supportivte of him trying to make his marriage work, IN fact you may be a major reason it is not working.

You need to walk away and try and hope he will have a good life with his wife and his daughter. And you are not emotional support for him, you are poison for him and his marriage.

It is obvious he has little moral values having a wife and then sex with you. ( which is most likley what he wants most) and then I won't even go into the issues of killing two babies though abortion and not even having a second though about it.

I would say that you are going down a road that will never be happy and lead to more heartaches than you can ever think.

Also I am ashamed of you calling this other girl anything, you are far worst than she could ever be with your actions.

Leave this man alone and let him get on with his wife and his baby and his life. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Stop seeing him right away, and don't ever see him again, for any reason. He's not good for you. Because of this relationship, you've already had two abortions, and you're feeling guilt and sadness. An affair with a married man is just going to bring you MORE and MORE guilt and sadness.

If he doesn't want to be married to his wife, then he needs to end the marriage... and have time to heal from it... before he jumps into another relationship. Now is not the time for the two of you, and there may not ever BE a time for the two of you.

Walk away, don't look back, and find someone who wants to be with ONLY you, and isn't already committed to someone else.

The poster messaged me, mad that I would dare to tell them I was ashamed of them and they shoul be ashamed of thierself.

I guess they had some mistaken value that a pastor would see no problem with a person helping to break up a marriage.

I see the poster deleted all of their post. I expcet they believed everyone would feel sorry for them ( not sure why) people often don't like to hear the truth.

Once it has been discovered what's happening, you'll experience way more trauma than the joy you are feeling now. Take it from someone who's been there. Emotional pain is the wost feeling there is to experience. You will definitely regret the consequences of your actions later on.

Good evening...
As I cannot see any prior posts but I get the idea of what you have said. I have decided to post because I am surprised by the few responses I can see. Clearly, most of us have strong opinions on any given subject, or we wouldn't be on here.

Though I can appreciate the opinion, I cannot always appreciate or respect the tone in which it is delivered. Have some of you forgotten this is a help desk? A place that everybody should be able to come and ask whatever question, is on their heart. It doesn't matter if you are a nurse, plumber, teacher or even a pastor! What does matter is that your profession can help to give a closer, more accurate, response.

However, in this post a couple of you have been downright harsh, very critical and extremely judgemental. This young lady is obviously troubled by the situation, which is why she made the post. Instead of making her feel worse and approaching her with the, holier-than-thou attitude, try stating your thoughts in a more neutral way.

All this does is chase away people from sharing burdens they have and trying to get help or direction. Don't you see that? Unless you guys are perfect and have led the life of the second coming of Christ, I would rethink your approach.

We all make mistakes, all of us. Please try to keep an open mind, along with an open heart. You don't have to agree with what she has done but you can offer your thoughts in a more gentle way.

To the young lady who first posted the question, I commend you for being brave enough to be honest and to ask for guidance. Situations like this one, when you let them go on, can get you all turned around and confused about which way is up, down or out. The heart is a funny thing sometimes. It can look past right from wrong and make it feel okay. That's where the head can take over and justify any action you want it to.

Which is where you have to stop, take a deep breath and find sturdy ground. Once there, turn around and look at the situation from that more distant place. Things seem to make more sense and become clear when we take a step back and put ourself in somebody else's shoes. Maybe that's what you need to do.

Whatever you decide to do, you have to be true to yourself and remember this isn't about anybody but you. That is not to say be selfish, continue on, who cares about everybody else attitude. What I am saying is that you cannot let yourself get lost along the path you are on. You have to follow your head, heart and true center equally. If you do that, while removing the emotion for just a moment, you'll know what to do and what's best for you and your personal belief system. If you let one of the three have more power that's when it can get you turned around, confused, hurt and feeling overwhelmed.

Good luck to you...

LIFE1973HAPPENED - you have to take this website for what it is. An open forum where anyone can ask or answer any question. People will get answers they would like to hear and vice versa. Of course people will be judgmental, it happens off line so why would it not happen here.
It is a lot easier to talk about wrongdoings when they're not your own. Everyone is fallible and same with some of their responses on here.
But you can't expect to receive sympathetic responses from EVERYONE on here. This is more of an opinion forum than a place to find the precise answer to questions.

n/m

Ah. Good for you. Something to be proud of.

I know... he's your soulmate... wait... no, its destiny... wait... no he is in a terrible marriage... wait... no... he is separated just not divorced... wait... no... he didn't tell you he was married and you fell in love and it can't be helped...

Blech.

Heard it all before here.

I know... I'm a jerk who is insensitive, inconsiderate, and mean to others. Sounds like I might get along with your "bf"

Only you get to decide who gets in your pants. Your choice. Your call. Your decision. Live with it.

life1973happened disagrees: How you you make comments like this to girl? Though you may have heard it all already, she is living it, and asking for help.

Actually she chastised one of our long standing members for giving his opinion... which is KIND OF THE POINT if you go to a message board.

How dare you.

Shall I pass all opinions past you first?

If someone doesn't like my opinion, they can ignore me. Get over it. What a bunch of pansies this country has become!

How can I judge a woman who is dating a married man... hmmmm... lets see... I respect marriage, and I think people have free will.

Is that so hard to deal with?

Look... I know how hard it is to walk away from someone you love... I've had to do it. But I did it.

So how dare you.

A person comes to a public forum and they should be open to all opinions... not just the ones you agree with.

Good evening kp2171...
I am well aware of the idea of an open forum. I am also well aware of pompous, self righteous men like you, that feel you are saving the world, one sarcastic, mean-spirited post at a time.

Though you think capitalizing your words, and emphasizing others, helps prove your crazy notions and judgmental rituals, it can be delivered in a more graceful manner. Here I'll say it in a way you might better understand, it's called RESPECT!

So to answer your question, so you can go on saving the ritual of marriage...

If all your posts read in this manner, than yes, you should run your opinions by me first. I can review them for you and make the corrections that are necessary. Goodness knows there will probably be quite a few, so please give me some additional time on the ones in which you chastise, putdown or outright spit on others mistakes.

Good Day!

* edited *

Tired of being ticked in this thread. Done.

Even though the OP is LONG gone---why don't you take this discussion to a Member's Discussions board?

hiya syn!

yeah, its getting off topic.. and you know my temper about disagrees that get tossed around when it's a matter of opinion...

but keep in mind, in three of your last 4 "disagree" ratings you chose to challenge the rater in the original thread. Just saying... it's a distraction, but even the mods do it. =)

even in their sexy sweatpants.

I know--I'm bad about it too. But as a mod, I try like mad to NOT give out reddies, too.

I can't boss you around, this isn't my forum. Just making a suggestion, more than anything.

kp2171...
You are right I don't know you, nor have I read enough of your posts to have a clear idea of the person you are. The name calling was terribly immature and I'm sorry.

I do think you were harsh with your words to this young woman. I do appreciate the power of opinion and think I am open-minded. However, I could have responded much differently to your comments, regarding my response to her situation, but instead lashed back.

It is clear we agree to disagree, but could have done it with respect. Again, I apologize for making a general assumption about you, and my sarcastic words that followed.

Back at you...

Lets blame the crappy weather. Oh, and my irish temper. Tend to hit first and buy drinks later.

Your point is not lost on me. I have a soft approach sometimes, but I also don't pull punches in some cases, especially infidelity. And I get all punchy about "disagrees" on opinions.

There. See there syn? We hugged and made nice.

Got to love a happy ending... well done!

So why is everyone crucifying the girl, what about the MARRIED man?

rambunctious : so why is everyone crucifying the girl, what about the MARRIED man?

Believe me... if he were here id have him against the wall and the girl wouldn't be the object of my anger. He is the first one to step out of line... but a person who dates a married person is just reaching for trouble out of their own bad judgement.

If the thread were "im a married man but i like another woman" you'd better believe wed napalm his arse ten times worse than we did her.