Could you please help me?

I am in the same situation as maybe lots of other women. I am in love with the married man. He is my doctor. I know he has a wife and 2 children With my mind I know I should forget him, but every time I see him my heart beats violently and I dream of him every minute of my life. I can't forget him. I even confessed my love to him. p.ls. Help!

To answer your question you really need to tell us what he said after you "confessed your love to him"

How about going out and meeting other men?

How about reminding yourself that he's not for you, and that no matter how much it hurts, YOU need to get over it?

How about remembering that his wife and kids would be devastated if you were selfish enough to go forward on this? How can you be so selfish?

Go find an AVAILABLE man.

You may not be able to help your feelings, but you CAN help how you act on them. I'd get a new doctor, and not see yours anymore, because your feelings for him are highly inappropriate.

Excellent post by Synnen above! I agree. You need to get over it!

I do just want to add, that I have dated and also been in love with a number of women. Do I still love some of them? Yes. Are most of them now married? Yes. I don't have a problem with still being in love with them. I'm sure that some of them still feel the same way toward me. However, for one reason or another, things didn't work out. We all just simply moved on.

You also need to move on...

I now feel that I should not have confessed my love to him, since then he somehow distanced himself. I have never slept with him, but he always tries to make body contact with me.

You're correct. You should not have confessed your love to him.

He somehow distances himself from you and yet he always tries to make body contact with you. What exactly do you mean by that?

He used to be more attentive to me:
Now it's only light kiss, touch, cuddle

he used to be more attentive to me:
now it's only light kiss, touch, cuddle

He's married. What would you expect?

You need to get out of this situation as soon as possible. He is now cheating on his wife. What makes you think that he wouldn't cheat on you?

Thank you, I understand

Yet I feel as if no other man exists in the world except him.

How old are you, please?

30

What ever happened to going for what you want??

30

Originally Posted by ladygirl
he used to be more attentive to me:
now it's only light kiss, touch, cuddle



Originally Posted by Clough
He's married. What would you expect?

You need to get out of this situation as soon as possible. He is now cheating on his wife. What makes you think that he wouldn't cheat on you?


Originally Posted by ladygirl
Thank you, I understand

Yet I feel as if no other man exists in the world except him.


Originally Posted by Clough
How old are you, please?


30

Thank you for answering that.
Have you dated much in the past?

Not so much

I was thinking that might have been the case.

What kind of things are you interested in?

Well, I am interested in world politics, reading interesting books+ sports, etc

Are you a member of any social groups in your area? Do you go to church? I am just trying to get an idea as to where you are socially in your life.

I am sorry, what is your profession? Are you a phychologist?

No, I'm not a psychologist. If you would like to know about me, then please read my profile. It is on the following link. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/clough.html

I am a leader of groups of people. Because of what I have done for a living, I have come into contact with all sorts of people and have had to deal with all sorts of situations as well as problems concerning people. I also know the correct people to pull into a post such as yours who can be of help. If you are seeking professional help, then you need to find it outside of this site.

Lol he makes your heart beat violently? Sorry had to laugh at that. I pictured you becoming a hypochondriac or something just to see him more often. Lol seriously, get a new doctor! I think you've mistaken this for a crush.

See, now. More people are going to start to respond to your post. I like to set things up so that those who are most able to respond appropriately will be able to do so because the pertinent information has already been given.

Okay, I can see that you are offline now from this site. We know that you need to get out of the situation of being in the presence of your doctor who is already married. I hope that you read the original post that I wrote to you as well as the one by Synnen. If not, then they are below.


Originally Posted by Synnen
How about going out and meeting other men?

How about reminding yourself that he's not for you, and that no matter how much it hurts, YOU need to get over it?

How about remembering that his wife and kids would be devastated if you were selfish enough to go forward on this? How can you be so selfish?

Go find an AVAILABLE man.

You may not be able to help your feelings, but you CAN help how you act on them. I'd get a new doctor, and not see yours anymore, because your feelings for him are highly inappropriate.


Originally Posted by Clough
Excellent post by Synnen above! I agree. You need to get over it!

I do just want to add, that I have dated and also been in love with a number of women. Do I still love some of them? Yes. Are most of them now married? Yes. I don't have a problem with still being in love with them. I'm sure that some of them still feel the same way toward me. However, for one reason or another, things didn't work out. We all just simply moved on.

You also need to move on...

Socially, you need to get out and be involved in groups where you will be able to meet available men in whom you might be interested and they also in you. These might be in any number of a variety of places. That is why I was starting to ask questions about your interests and the things in which you might be involved.

The choice is yours...

You need to find a new doctor. He's married. Don't open yourself up to the hurt of being "in love" with a married man. You don't need that heartache.

Find a new doctor.

The_Anti : what ever happened to going for what you want??

That only works if you're not going to hurt innocent people. Think about it--the guys who flew planes into the World Trade Center were going for what they wanted, too--so, was it okay for them to do it because of that?

I have a feeling that you're someone's pseudonym, since you have no posts of your own, and that you exist solely to be able to give people "disagrees". I hope that's not the case.

Are u in LOVE or in LUST?

Just because he pays u some attention and touches u here and there does not mean u are in LOVE. Probably u are attracted to the attention u are getting from a man, what more a doctor who is considered to be high on career status.

U feel special and feel like u will be the one to move his heart to either leave his family or keep his family but treats u like his queen. It's not going to happen. U read that a lot here. Married men are best left as that--MARRIED.

And u better not let him use u! He is probably married but bored and wants to have a fling. U happened to be at the right place and at the right time. Even better, he knows u think u love him. What a great target!

ADULTRY! It is a sin!! You will reap what you sew. That is a fact!

could you please help me?

i am in the same situation as maybe lots of other women. i am in love with the married man. He is my doctor. I know he has a wife and 2 children With my mind i know i should forget him, but every time i see him my heart beats violently and i dream of him every minute of my life. i can't forget him. i even confessed my love to him. p.ls. help!
Do what u feel like doing but NO REGRETS LATER!!

AMA - Position Statement (http://www.ama.com.au/web.nsf/tag/amacodeofethics)


"Avoid engaging in sexual activity with your patient"



What he is doing is unethical and unprofessional, even if he were single.

Thank you all for your feed backs, I need some time to think over it once again and try to make the rigth decision

If you love him, you will want him to do the right thing. He should not be your doctor and your lover because he has a conflict of interest in the care of your health. This applies likewise to every professional person. Romance has a way of fogging our mind in its search for truth. You should change doctors and go No Contact with this man for a reasonable length of time, say 3 - 6 months. I think you will understand more about being infatuated with someone.