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View Full Version : Nice guys ? Should we be a nice guys or not ?


Simple Asian
Dec 30, 2007, 02:52 PM
Just like every nice guys out there... I am one... and if you no that most of us.. have been thought rejected server times b.c :( " sorry you are such a nice guy....i dont want to hurt you .." or "sorry you are a really good friend..and really nice to me ...and i just can't seem to see me dating you and end up hurt you .."

So... hahaha my questions are what so bad about nice guys ?:confused:

And should we countinues being a nice guys ?

Or we stop being a nice guy.. meaning... being a jerk ? But also meaning like just don't be too nice ? :p


Go and express your feeling guys?. this is open topic... guys and gals all welcome... :D

N0help4u
Dec 30, 2007, 03:34 PM
I think some girls just don't like guys falling all over them and putting them up on a pedestal
Many girls don't want to be treated to either extreme they just want a guy that is genuine and to be treated as an equal.

nicespringgirl
Dec 30, 2007, 05:33 PM
Be that nice guy please!
Not all girls like jerks... I don't!

George_1950
Dec 30, 2007, 07:14 PM
Always conduct yourself in a way that would make your mother proud. Getting dumped is similar to getting fired from your job in that your boss can fire you for wearing the wrong color sox; she doesn't want to hurt your feelings (as if she cared anyway), so you get 'nice guy' or 'friend' status. Please!

JohnnyP409
Dec 30, 2007, 08:40 PM
Being a nice guy pays off later in life. Continue on.

Simple Asian
Dec 30, 2007, 09:13 PM
So as far as pplz saying here... girls don't like guys b.c nice guys don't have confident..

So girls end up with a**hole ? Jerk ? b.c they have confident to beat you girls... yell at you girls and cheat?.

oneguyinohio
Dec 30, 2007, 09:29 PM
Your post reminded me of the girl who gave me the line that I was such a nice guy that she loved, and something bad always happened bad to the nice guys that she loved, so she was dumping me... She went on to tell about a friend and a brother that she loved and lost... It all seemed like baloney to me... not wanting to lose someone so you get rid of them... OK?

I have seen her twice in my life since then and heard an update via a friend... over the last 22 years... seems she has never married, been with many partners both mail and female, and has no children...

What all of that has taught me is that when people break up with you using those excuses, it reveals more about them than it does you. If you are happy with the way you act, don't try to be anything different. Would you respect yourself for being nasty to someone, just because they stayed with you?

If they don't want you, because they choose the bad boy, then they are making that decision based on their personality... which may not seem wise in the long run, but many people only look at the short term.

Keep looking, and also think about the types of girls you are looking at. Have you noticed anything about their personalities that attract you to them? Something that might reveal their interest in the bad boys??

Simple Asian
Dec 30, 2007, 10:01 PM
That I post this is just to find out how pplz... think about nice guys overall...

As everyone saying... girls like guys who confident...

But most of girls like... oh you such a nice guys... and turn them down.. b.c they think that nice guys don't have confidence... but how you girls so sure that them bad boys have confidence ?

oneguyinohio
Dec 30, 2007, 10:13 PM
Evidently, a person who smacks someone else and gets into trouble does it because they are confident? That has to be wrong. Assertive might be a better word choice.

p3nn
Dec 30, 2007, 10:19 PM
Trouble seems to be that many of the jerks have mastered the art of looking like a nice guy in order to score.And of course those burnt by these end up a little cautious which I can't blame them for. But from one nice guy to another I'd say just be yourself. If she isn't interested in you for you then don't despair. Sooner or later you'll find that someone. I believe in the old do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. So if you want to end up with a nice girl, keep being that nice guy ;)

ordinaryguy
Dec 31, 2007, 06:21 AM
Nice is good. Real is better. True is best.

Where nice often goes wrong is being so focused on the Other that you forget to be Yourself.

p3nn
Dec 31, 2007, 06:31 AM
Nice is good. Real is better. True is best.

Where nice often goes wrong is being so focused on the Other that you forget to be Yourself.

Agreed. Oft we become so focused on being true to the other that we forget to be true to ourselves. And as the ole saying goes: "If you can't be true to yourself, you can't be true to anyone." For us nice guys this means don't worry about seeming nice or not. Just be you and let it all come from the heart;)

Silent Breeze
Dec 31, 2007, 01:09 PM
Not all girls want macho man with the brain of a baby! Do you know what most girls really want? They want someone to listen to them, someone to rely on, someone to hold them when they're scared and greet them when they're happy and to be treated as an equal.
Girls/guys who are still in school have no idea what they want in their spouses.. they hardly know who they are!
Many girls are so afraid to get into a relationship because, as p3nn said before me, the jerks are pretending to be nice guys and girls are falling for them, so when the truly nice guy comes, she's been heartbroken one too many times to let herself take the risk.
So if you're a nice guy, stay that way, the right girl for you is sure to find you and give you a chance. Either way the jerk is bound to lose the girl, but the nice guy will later on surely be discovered.

N0help4u
Dec 31, 2007, 01:13 PM
so as far as pplz saying here....girls dont like guys b.c nice guys dont have confident ....?

so girls end up with a**hole ? jerk ? b.c they have confident to beat you girls....yell at you girls and cheat ? ...



as a matter of fact that i post this is just to find out how pplz...think about nice guys overall.....

as every1 saying ...girls like guys who confident ....

but most of girls like ...oh you such a nice guys ....and turn them down ..b.c they think that nice guys dont have confidence .......but how you girls so sure that them bad boys have confidence ?

Where do you see anybody here saying this??

It looks to me like EVERYBODY here is saying be true to who you are and treat a girl decent.

Simple Asian
Dec 31, 2007, 02:58 PM
And this topic is just for pplz to discuss about nice guys... why they get kicking around and no love...

So if I have any misunderstanding.. please forgive me b.c my english I can not really express myself pretty well...

So my oppions so far about NICE GUY are

_The person every girl will compare their would-be boyfriends to, for they possess every trait a woman desires. However, for whatever reason, women avoid them like the plague.

_nice guys always listening.. caring... and always be there for the girls... but never get the girls..

_ NICE guys finished last?.

N0help4u
Dec 31, 2007, 03:07 PM
I see what you are saying a lot, but the truth of the matter is they do not have a quality relationship that lasts in the long run. Many end up living together for a year or two and then the girl gets fed up with the abuse and leaves and keeps in a cycle of repeated abuse. Within ten years a girl that likes 'the bad guy' can go through at least 8 to 12 relationships.
Treat a girl like an equal and show consideration. Maybe hold back a little of your nice guy personality to keep her wondering but D0N'T resort to bad guy cause in the long run quality is better than a vicious cycle that takes you down a path that leads nowhere.

cerisa
Dec 31, 2007, 04:30 PM
"nice guys" guys who are kind, gentle, sweet thoughtful-Those guys are always welcome . The guys who do not last are the ones who are unsure of themselves, don't have opinions they can articulate. Say 'whatever' and go along with things instead of having a plan. Those guys may think they are being 'nice" but actually they are being weak, and weakness is unattractive in men and women.

Simple Asian
Jan 2, 2008, 03:01 AM
And stop being a nice guy.. be a good guy with EDGE...

As a far as I no now that nice guys don't get date nor girls nor anything..

.b.c why ? b.c they are just too insurcure

And when they get the girls they treat the girls likes queens... and that a turn off... so what you have to do now is still be a nice guy but don't be too nice... treat pplz nice and everything.. always be there for them but not every time... just the right time.. and listen to what they say..,.

You are the man to give comand don't ever tell her what she want.. you the one making the choise... and don't treat her like queens.. treat her like other pplz.. still care about her but not over caring.. still love her but not over loving... still be there for her but not all the time .

You have life too... go do your things... and never call her too much and saying like I so love you miss you and I want to see you.. give her space .let her miss you and let her say it .

Simple Asian
Jan 2, 2008, 03:03 AM
And the topic nice guys vs jerks ? We been seeing that hearing it times to times

It not the jerks that good at getting the girls... it the nice guys that don't no how to get the girls... so from now on... atcually we can never blame anyone about it...

Just saying...

brown_eyes_3546
Jan 2, 2008, 03:23 AM
hey hon. Nice guys don't always finish last but you are right that girls are attracted to confidence. You don't have to be a jerk to be confident and don't think you do. The jerks always act like nice guys to begin with and then they end up hitting you or something stupid like that and a lot of girls get afraid to leave because they were their first or w/e. I promise there is someone out there for you. My boyfriend was a nice guy and I thought he was too good to be true because he went out of his way to make sure I was happy and helped me deal with the things my jerk of an x did to me. It paid off for him because I saw that he was sincere and really did care instead of pretening to. Keep being a nice guy for the girls around you sake!

N0help4u
Jan 2, 2008, 09:42 AM
Even if nice guys finish last it is like the tortoise and the hare.
The tortoise WON in the end!

ISneezeFunny
Jan 2, 2008, 09:54 AM
Actually, in real life, the tortoise probably got ran over by the car while the hare moved out of the way.

I am that nice guy. I really am. I've been rejected by many girls. And I figured it out. Girls want... excitement. They don't want a guy that'll get them EVERYTHING they ever want. Then it's boring. They want to be treated like a princess at first, but also want a little bit of a fight left in the guy. I'm not talking about arguments, I'm talking about being decisive.

You go out to eat, you ask the girl WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT? That's being a nice guy. You're putting the girl first. That's fine. But every once in a while, say, I WANT TO EAT HERE. Or... IT'S A SURPRISE. WE'RE GOING TO DINNER. YOU'LL FIND OUT WHERE WE GO.

Little things like that.

Granted, I've gone off the deep end and have become a cocky and arrogant jerk, but oddly, a lot of girls find that attractive as well. Don't confuse jerk with a mean person. I'm not "mean" to the girl... but I will make jokes and make fun of her every now and then.

Essentially, I've become dr. gregory house.

cerisa
Jan 2, 2008, 11:15 AM
Girls can't see into your wallet, they don't know what you can afford. No one wants to appear to be a gold digger. Saying "where do you want to eat" may seem nice, but she is left to decide with no information of your finances. Instead ask, "do you like Chilii's, or Black Angus", which gives her a guidline of how much you want to spend. Or "pizza or burgers".
Having a set of guidelines works well in a relationship because it gives both of you some structure. Being endlessly available means you have nothing of your own important to you. Always doing things for another, without any return means you are being used, NOT GOOD! Dump that relationship now. Discusions should be polite and productive, if she has something valid to say, listen. She should do the same for you. Nice guys conversations can be akward because they are unsure of their opinions. Or unsure of how to articulate them anyway.
Make a plan, have a goal in life . Girls who fit in with your plans are the ones you are compatible with. "nice guys " actually do finish last, so what? Take your time, enjoy the ride.

depressedhelp
Jan 2, 2008, 05:38 PM
just like every nice guys out there...i am one ...and if you no that most of us ..have been thought rejected server times b.c :( " sorry you are such a nice guy....i dont want to hurt you .." or "sorry you are a really good friend..and really nice to me ...and i just can't seem to see me dating you and end up hurt you .."

so ....hahaha my questions are what so bad about nice guys ?:confused:

and should we countinues being a nice guys ?

or we stop being a nice guy ..meaning ...being a jerk ? but also meaning like just dont be too nice ? :p


go and express your feeling guys ?...this is open topic ...guys and gals all welcome....:D
in my opinion [and experences] that girls like nice guys..

I mean I think those girls are saying "your such a nice guy" as a nice way to reject u?

well if a girl will be like that.. then there not for you.

well simple math nice guy + nice girl = committed relationship =]

Simple Asian
Jan 3, 2008, 04:31 PM
NIce guys... all the way... PROUD TO BE A NICE GUY...

b.c we won the race in the end

Silent Breeze
Jan 4, 2008, 01:32 AM
NIce guys ....all the way ......PROUD TO BE A NICE GUY ......

b.c we won the race in the end
Exactly! :) :)

red_cartoon
Jan 4, 2008, 01:46 AM
so as far as pplz saying here....girls dont like guys b.c nice guys dont have confident ....?

A nice guy is also a confident guy. He is not bullying around like jerks because he knows what he is. And he does not need to dominate people around him, people naturally treats him well.

A jerk might look very confident due to his demonstration of physical or other sort of power. But deep within he is very nervous and knows that he is no match for the nice guy. That's why he would try to harass the nice guy to make the nice guy look like a loser.

Simple Asian
Jan 5, 2008, 12:03 AM
To red_cartoon : true.. nice guys have confident... hell they are confident guy... but girls always think that.. oh he is nice guys... he must be shy.. and don't have confident.. you no

red_cartoon
Jan 5, 2008, 04:28 AM
Those are the immature girls. They have a lot to learn from the world around them. They eventually learn it, through some bitter experiences usually.

Simple Asian
Jan 6, 2008, 02:14 PM
Lol... in other words... girls have to dated jerk.. before come to the nice guys...

After they got dump I meant