Can someone please answer my question as im going crazy!
if your husband is being really honest and tells you that a few yr ago he asked our friend if she would sleep him?
Bare in mind im married to my husband and this women was (at the time) married to my husbands best friends.
Why would someone ask this sort of question?????

my husband had also told me a few months back that he had a thing for her, and before i was in d picture they played footsie and lots of eye contact!!

Im so sad

biggsie

I think there are things that most smart husbands don't tell their wives --

This is probably be one of them -- Don't know what good can come from it

Most people who are married -- stop being as romantic in many ways

Telling a wife shes fat -- Is not a good way to get on her good side

flower81

Thanks for your reply
I feel so walked all over

when i told him why did u tell me he said - coz i feel i can u tell you anythin
and when i asked why did he feel d need to ask her he said - i just wanted to know not sure why as it was not going to mean anything.

Am i being thick - i dont get it!

i cant express how im feeling - but betrayed is one of them

Allheart

Hi Flower81 -

I am so very sorry for the hurt you must feel. I would feel the exact same way as though a big huge brick entered my heart and sank it to the floor with a good bit of nasuea to boot. So you are not alone.

Flower81 - Not quite sure how a conversation like that happens. In what type of setting does your husband ask your "friend" to have sex with him??

Yes, honesty is always wonderful but there are times where a man's mind and I am sure a women's too wonder and think what it would be like to sleep with someone other then your spouse. But the thoughts are usually fleeting and I seriously doubt ever verbalized in the way your husband did. Doesn't make it right that he asked someone to have sex with him, because he told you. That would be like a someone robbing a bank and telling the police they did it and all is well. Doesn't work quite that way.

The most important thing for you now is to heal. Flower, I have a very strong feeling that your husband loves and adores you and truly feels he can tell you anything and you want to make sure that line of communication never gets clogged up. It will be hard for you to express the deep hurt that you are feeling so why don't you try and write him a note expressing how you are feeling. You could start off with the fact that you are glad he feels he can always be honest with you and you want that to continue.

If you decide to write your feelings down to him, be sure it is just that. An open and honest letter from you with a desire to understand and be heard of how this revelation of his has made you feel.

Flower, we are always here for you and I hope you heal quickly and I hope your husband is able to understand fully how all of this has made you feel without making him regret the fact that he shared this with you.

My very best to you.

flower81

your words made me cry. Im crying as i write this.

He asked this girl - if she wud sleep with on new yr eve maybe 4 yr ago apparantly!!!!!
them 2 were standin up chatting and me and her husband were a few feet away sittin down chatting!

I expressed my feelings to him on text msg.
he said im strong. which i am but im not made of steal.

Allheart

Oh Sweetheart I don't want you to cry. I am so sorry. Although sometimes crying can help get it out.

It was 4 years ago...so that's a good thing. But your hurt is right now. Text messaging really can't convey your hurt. It's too swift and instant. You need to sit down and type up a letter or handwrite it.

You have an awful lot of hurt inside you that has to heal. Getting his understanding of how this made you feel and a sincere apology will help the healing begin.

Flower it was 4 years ago and thankfully nothing came of it and his being honest with you
are very positive points.

You want to get the hurt out, be heard and understood, but you don't want to hang on to it and carry it with the both of you forever. That's why it is important to take care of it and then leave it behind you.

Your sad heart is understandable but work with your husband in helping to put this behind you both.

It probably was very meaningless to him and more then likely driven by the alchol consumption of New Year's Eve (assuming he was drinking).

You hang in there girl...this will be okay . That's a promise!!

flower81

Thank you
I will do that right now

biggsie

Have you ever suspected your husband is a cave man?

Guess what? He is.

But I didn’t mean that just figuratively, I meant it literally. He shares many of the same brain characteristics of his more primitive ancestors.

If you take a few minutes to understand some of these characteristics you have the opportunity to use them to your advantage and live with your cave man rather than fighting him.

» Marriage Help: How to Understand Your Husband’s Crazy Brain Full Tilt Marriage.com

Marriage Help: Why Your Man is a Jerk

Allheart

Flower,

You can write it, then read it and put it away for alittle bit. Then go back and make sure
it's exactly what you want to say.

Sometimes just doing this exercise helps us feel better.

Want to give you a hug ***hug** and a smile

Choux

I think you learned a good lesson here.... no one should know *everything* their spouse is thinking about, specially sex with others! lol

It seems to me that you two are a good match! Relax.