Hey all! Question for you guys, heres the situation, I'll try to keep it short:

My gf maybe a couple months ago made me think that she wasnt honest with me, I didnt want to pick on her with my own insecurities, so I left it alone, never even mentioned it to her. It was because I asked her if she had fun one night after she was hanging out with friends. She replied "yes I had fun, yea I was so tired last night I'm glad I got a lot of work done" To me that speech pattern and what she said made no sense about anything, so it seemed that it was some sort of lie to cover up what she really did that night. But as I said I didnt say anything about that and left it alone.

Recently I just get the feeling that she talks to (possibly more) other guys. She still logs on to the dating site that I met her on. She has been there at least 3 times a week for the last couple months. Actually I hacked into her account to see if she was talking to anyone, she hadnt sent any messeges to anyone, but she did send winks, and there is an option to choose if you think youd match well with someone, her and a couple guys have clicked that to each other. I got suspicious because why would she keep going on that site, we have been together for 7 months now. So today I created a fake profile, pretending to be someone else. Now she lists her contact info if you want to chat with her, so it was easy to start chatting with her as this other guy.

So far she has revealed to me that she doesnt have a boyfriend, and is "fishing" around, since shes "just got out of a 7 year relationship". She went into detail to me about what kind of guy she likes etc. So as you can imagine I am pissed off.

My question: Is she cheating on me already? Should I break up with her? Tell her that I caught her? or maybe keep up with the fake profile to get more proof? how do you all think I should deal with this issue? I appreciate all of your help in other posts, and I respect you guys opinions

Genuineforce

please some advice?!

smoothy

Are you in what is supposed to be a close relationship or are you just casually dating. It may be time to have a talk as to where your relationship stands. And move on if she feels you are exclusive and does this. Be glad its not your wife doing it. You can walk away easier.

kp2171

first... you might want to be a little patient. not all the members log on between 11:39 and 12:21.

second... she may not be cheating but shes at the very least living out a fantasy that takes energy away from your relationship.

so at this point she, at best, lies to you and lies to strange men on the internet, one of whom is you but youve misled her about that.

you create fake accounts to test whether you can trust her, creating a situation where she cant trust you, but in reality, you actually cannot trust her.

i really cant tell if you two were made for each other or if you two should run away. i know thats harsh. and id probably stoop to some lows too if i thought my partner was cheating.

the reality is your gut doesnt trust her. even if she isnt cheating, even if her chats are just made up lies. i dated one girl who wrote out fantasies in a notebook. i opened it, not knowing what it was, because i was going to leave her a note. talk about a bomb. turns out most of it was made up crap... she just got a rise out of playing out these fantasies on paper. and she was able to prove at least a couple of the things never happened.

but i never quite trusted her again.

so... would you be happy if she went out with her friends and took off her wedding ring (i know youre not married)? no. even if she comes home to you, it seems disrespectful.

on the girls side, they might say the same thing about men going to strip clubs. a little fantasy that gets them guys but still they come home.... see how easy it is to get into murky waters here?

so, since you dont know whether she is planning on cheating or whether shes just hooked on internet attention, you really dont know where you stand...

and on your side, youve violated her privacy. if i rummage through my wifes purse to look for evidence of misbehaving, is it right? is it better if i find something or not?

so.... big trust issues on your side with her, and she really cant trust you, but doesnt know it, and maybe she deserves it.

doesnt sound like a plan for a long term relationship.

Genuineforce

I appreciate all the advice given. I agree its probably hard to tell me what i should do, but everything said has been helpful, i am going to see her in person and ask me why she is still active on the dating site, i wont accuse her of cheating but i'll tell her that i find it disrespectful, and i'll just mention that i made up a fake name to talk to her with, and show her what she said about not having a boyfriend, what shes looking for etc

Any other thoughts on this? thanks guys