Well lets start here I'm 18, and lost my virginity at 15 by my boyfriend at the time and when I first had sex it didn't really hurt and I wanted to try it again because I thought I might start to enjoy because I heard so many people saying they like it. We had sex about 7, 8 times after that and I felt something but it wasn't "pleasure", we did every position possible but I got nothing out of it and I was not willing to do oral sex just because it always seemed like a disgusting thing to do but anyway I can orgasm by rubbing my but that's it.

Last year I had a boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex with him, but I was afraid I wouldn't get anything of that and I would just be adding an extra person on a list. I'm not the kind person who just wants to have sex with anybody, but my hormones are at a all-time high right now and when I start having sex again I want to enjoy it, and I masturbate often and it makes me mad hearing some girls talking about having sex with their boyfriend, I really want to feel what their feeling.

Often if you 'aren't getting anything out of it' It could be 'something telling you' the LOVE really isn't there. Wait for somebody you REALLY love.

Let me apologize in advance by saying I never give a short answer when the issue is complex.

There's a little maddening feedback cycle...

You need be both mentally prepared and in the moment for good sex, and you need the physical stimulation to heighten your mental state. Some think being "ready" and wanting an orgasm is enough... that being attracted to your partner is enough to satiate the mental side. Not always true.

My partner loves sex, thinks I'm attractive, loves me to touch her. But there have been times when I've looked at her while doing "all the right things" that I know she craves, and I can just see its going NOWHERE. Her mind isn't lost in the moment... she might like the sensations, but she just isn't mentally being controlled by the physical sensations.

So the feedback cycle sucks when your mind is in the way of your body and your body isn't overriding your mind.

Wanting an orgasm is fine. Being excited about sex is great. But are you able to relax and really enjoy the moment? Rushing to get to the big "O" often isn't going to get you anywhere.

Also... I think you are in middle ground. You are young. You aren't stating you want to have sex... you want to feel what your friends are feeling, and that's not the same as saying you are prepared to enjoy sex, with all the consequences and baggage that comes with being sexually active. If you aren't fully ready (this doesn't mean raging hormones) to take all this on, it also can be a mental block.

Other mental blocks that can hurt libido and hurt your ability to lose yourself in the moment are depression, sickness, stress, past "failures" in bed... which just sucks... failure to reach orgasm makes it harder for you to reach orgasm. Twisted little game.

So you need to do all you can to mentally be relaxed and to also treat sex differently. When you approach sex and a means to have an orgasm alone, anything less is a failure. The journey is no longer enjoyed in its fullest.

That said, there's nothing wrong with trying to get to that orgasm if you can approach sex as an experience, not just a means to get off.

So physically what can you do?

I'm never going to tell you to do something you aren't comfortable with... but your aversion to oral sex will probably limit you. I can tell you my experience is oral sex performed on my partners has always been the absolute "best" way to bring them to orgasm (meaning more often it works) or to prime them for more pleasurable intercourse. Doesn't mean you need to do it or let it be done on you, just means you are cutting out a sexual method that I think works for many, many women.

That leaves you with self stimulation and intercourse. Have you tried self stimulation while receiving intercourse? There are positions you can take that allow you to have more control, like girl on top, and that also allow you to use your fingers to self stimulate while he is inside you.

Don't be shy about this. If my partner grabs at her breasts, drags her nails over her neck or her arse, if he reaches down and fingers her cl!t, I think its absolutely sexy. She wants to hit that high so badly that she's willing to let go of any inhibitions... and that's powerful stuff.

The fact that you can get yourself off means you might be able to get off if you talk to him, help him understand what stim you like, and self stim some. There are positions with my partner that only work for her with self stim.

Also, read about sex. The more you know, the more you understand. I've been talking up and down about "she comes first"... primarily aimed at making oral sex for the woman more pleasurable by understanding how a woman's body is innervated, especially understanding the cl!toral complex (its much more than a "button"). Great read for a guy or girl. Even if you don't read that one, read about sex.

Women's bodies, in my opinion, can be more complex concerning getting to orgasm. What worked for one lover would have the next lover smacking me upside the head. One liked more pressure, one needed butterfly kisses. One loved her breasts kissed early on, one hated it early but loved it late to push her over the top.

You've got work to do... don't get too frustrated. It might take time for you to find what works for you...

And please don't pressure yourself too much about sex. If you aren't ready, even if the hormones are kickin', you might create a stigma about sex that isn't healthy.

Be safe and have fun. Sorry such a long post.