Hi i am aracelis and I am 19 years old and me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. He is in the military and ever since then he has cheated and i have taken him back. i had a child with him about 2 years ago and i have gained weight and ever since then i feel like he doesnt even find me attractive any more. we just recently moved in together and now were barely having sex. when were long distance from each other we would have sex all the time and now i can barely get him to touch me. hes always compiling that he's tired or that its to late. i dont understand what am i doing wrong or is it because im fat? he told me he wants me to lose weight and ive tried but it always seems to fail. i find it weird that he rather watch porn all night then to have sex with me. can someone help me and tell me what should i do?

Mom of 2

Honey, you need to get rid of this guy. He is doing nothing for your self esteem. The fact that he cheated on you should be a red flag that this is not the guy for you. He sounds like a complete idiot. You are still young and have a lot of living to do. If he cannot love you for who you are, then he is not worth it. Whenever someone asks you to change anything about you and demeans you in any way, that is wrong. I feel that you are being emotionally and psychologically abused. I would start saving up money in order to move out and move on with your life.

statictable

Yes the heart grows fond as the distance increases. You use the word "cheat" but say your not married. Best to practice safe sex in the future.

Choux

I get a vibe that you are in a depression of some kind. What you are needing, your boyfriend doesn't have. He may be using you. That will make your depression deeper.

You must take care of yourself and your child first! Time to go to a good therapist to help you find your issues and begin to work on them so you can treat yourself lovingly and raise your daughter in a positive environment.

Best wishes in 2008,

Depressed in MO

It does not matter if you are married. If you are in a committed relationship and your partner sleeps with someone else, it is "cheating".

PDXLady

I agree. Once a cheater always a cheater. Sweetie, if a guy is telling you to lose weight there is something wrong here. If you feel you are over weight, then you need to do something about it when YOU are ready and not someone else. He should be more supportive of that, and even help you do it. But if hes not having sex with you because youve gained weight you need to get rid of him. If hes not satisfied because you have gained a little weight, then hell never be satisified with you. Even if you lost the weight im sure hed find something else. Not to sound mean. He should love you for who you are and not what you look like. FInd someone who treats you like a queen

aquamarine15

look guys are idiots sometimes. and sex is not everything in a relationship. just have confidence.