Check out some similar questions!

miss0bates · Jul 7, 2010, 07:38 AM

I'm 20, my boyfriend is 21,so both our sex drives should be high right? I want sex everyday, my boyfriend doesn't seem that bothred, he's just happy fallling asleep. When I do try it on with him, by kissing his neck etc... I get a gentle shuff to tell me he doesn't want it. And if I get lucky (once a week if lucky) its basically him pleasuring himself next to me. Not very romantic, and that's it nothing else. Its over. Yet I find porn on his lap top all time. And before people think it mite be because I'm not attractive, I'm not a big headed person, but I'm a size 8, flat stomach cup D boobs long blonde hair, so I'm not hidious. He does have a physical job, OK, but at the weekends at least... do I get any no. I have spoken to him about it, and then it's a quick fondle and that's it. I want the heat the passion back, but I don't want to be puttin the effort in all the time, I want to feel desired, wanted, sexy... any advice would be great, because I'm starting to feel depressed... thanks

jmjoseph · Jul 7, 2010, 07:45 AM

We can't tell for sure by what we've been given. Only he knows that. But for him to choose to masturbate instead of having sex with a pretty lady like yourself, then he probably has an internet porn problem.

It wouldn't be the first time that internet porn has ruined a relationship.

How does he treat you otherwise? Is he attentive to ANY of your needs?

Is he worth trying to work things out with?

If not, then maybe you should move on.

Good luck.

CravenMorhead · Jul 7, 2010, 08:06 AM

I imagine that you're not hard on the eyes.

He is in a physical job and is tired. When a man wants to sleep he will, forgoing sex. How stressed is he? Other common libido killer. Does he drink/smoke/drugs a lot? Physical job so chances are he isn't too over weight.

The porn shows that his libido is there somewhat but when he is horny, those brief flashes, you're not available and he takes care of business. That or it would take up too much time, IE he wants something that will take 5 min not an hour.

So what is the advice. I think you chatted with him, but you didn't talk to him. Not in bed, at the kitchen table for example, talk about it and express how you're sexually dissatisfied. Put it in terms of yourself.

As well, consider if you want to put up with this for the rest of your life. Will your extremely mismatched libidos cause friction or infidelity? Will it cause mental pain and anguish of both your parts?

Love isn't enough. Sex isn't enough. A good and healthy relationship is reliant on many different things. As soon as an imbalance in one part occurs than the rest will become unstable. Talk it out. If nothing changes, dump him. It will be better for your sanity. I guarantee it.

smoothy · Jul 7, 2010, 10:54 AM

Not all guys are horndogs, we do all (well, 99.99% of the straight ones anyway) like to see naked women. Even old farts who can't get it up any more.

You might have a guy with a natually low drive... of course assuming what you have given us are all the facts... known or not.

Porn would generally get him more frisky... not less.

miss0bates · Jul 8, 2010, 06:22 AM

Thanks guys spoke to him the other night, and he tried blaming it on me that I never make the effort, but I think that's because he was hurt by what I said, he calmed down then apologised and that he does find me attractive etc... so hopefully will all change from now on

CravenMorhead · Jul 8, 2010, 07:20 AM

Good luck! Expecting and waiting for a person to change is a fools game though. A person will only change if they want to. Give it a set time frame, say a month or two, to see if there is the willingness to change.

I don't think he is accepting his role in this situation, so change may or may not come.

Good Luck!