Ok my man gets hard just fine but sometimes when we go to have sex it goes limp after like 30 seconds and I don't understand why.

How old are you? What type of BC are you using? Condoms?

We need more details, especially age.

I am 27 he is 31. I am taking the pill. No we are not using condoms. Its strange because it doesn't happen all the time he will go for a few weeks were everything is OK and then all of a sudden we can't have sex because it won't stay up during sex or we will h

Pleasure use the "answer this question" to add details.

What is his stress levels like? Does he keep different hours than you? Medication? Drugs? Alcohol? Smoking? Does he have any medical problems? Heart problems? Weight problem?

At this point in time he has a high stress level. THe hours are only a few hours different. HE smokes . He doesn't have any of the other that I know off.

The stress could be it. Smoking and stress could be it as well. The interaction of stress hormones and the chemicals in smokes can cause lack of erection.

A good starting point might be getting him to stop smoking and go for a full check up. It seems that you're managing the problem a little. Maybe check to see if he can lessen his stress levels a bit.

Nothing beats going to the doctor though.

How long have you been together and has this problem been occurring the entire time or is it a fairly recent development?

Since this doesn't happen every time, have you noticed a pattern in what has been going on in his life when the problems occur such as higher stress level, less active, smoking heavier, minor disagreements, etc.

We have been together for 4 months. It has happened most of the time. It started this way then it got better for a few weeks and know it is happening again. I say its me and he swears up and down that its not. He is very stressed out. He says this has never happened before. He gets really ticked off when it happens. I just don't know what to do

When is the last time he's had a complete physical?

Its been awhile since he has had one.

Its time he got a physical... besides stress etc... there are a number of medical problems that can cause ED as just one of the symptoms. Some can be life threatening... and no age is too young for them to occur.

Damn straight it isn't you. You're not responsible for him not being able to get it up. Only take blame for things that you're responsible for.

Be supportive. He really needs to find a way to de-stress. It is hard to be sexy if you don't know if you'll be able to afford rent. In the end he needs to figure this out. He should go to both a medical doctor and a psychiatrist. He needs to get to the root of this problem. Until he realizes this and decides he wants to get it fixed nothing will happen.

I seem to be giving this bit of advice more and more. You're only four months in. That isn't a lot of time invested. You might also need to evaluate the relationship to see if it is fulfilling your emotional and physical needs. Is this something you're willing to live with? If it is, more power to you.

Don't blame yourself for this. He needs to get a check-up. I'm sure the doctor can help him out. Either by a prescription, or a health program.

I am wondering the same thing. I've been gone for a month and half working out of town. And came back and it's really been about 4 months since we have done anything and we went to make love and of course he made me very happy I start coughing really bad and had to sit up and then he was soft he said when I started choking and he went limp. I have noticed it before but know I don't know what to do. I asked him if it was me or me having gained weight he said no it wasn't me. I want to make him happy but I can't do a blow job, I gag and throw up, I have tried to make myself and all but I just can't and he totally understands, something bad happened to me when I was young. So please help me, I know marriages bust up because of this kind of stuff, he told me one day he just don't think about it no more. And before he always pinched my butt or my boobie or something, but I can't get nothing out of him anymore. He says he loves me very much.

Here's my email, cause I don't know how I ended up here. I just need answers. I really think I am losing him, I have never been able to have a orgasm justby making love. He's always took care of me in that dept, I feel like I am failing him. I love him so much. I will do what I got to.

Thank you for the help if your able to.

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Sheri