Okay so I didn't know whether to put this is Dating or Adult sexuality so I figured this would be my best bet.

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 10 months now.
We are not just each others "better halves" but we are best friends.
I have never met someone that I had so much in common with, and that I feel so close to.

Anyway to get to my question:

Why does it bother me when he watches porn?
We have talked about it many times and I have always told him that I have been cool with it.
But for some reason I get this pain in my heart every time I know that he is.

Today I was on his computer and I went to type "Google.com" into the URL box and it came up with pre-searched items... many which included sexual things.

Out of curiosity I clicked the items it came up with and was a bit upset with what I saw.

I know that it's natural and, hell, I even do it once in a while.
But it's almost like I am so uncomfortable with my body that I don't want him looking at other girls because I feel like he does that because he hates the way I look naked.

I'm not a skinny girl. I have gain a little in the past couple of moths due to heavy stress and I am just not that comfortable with the extra weight on my body.

It's not even that he is looking at a man and woman have sex, it's that he is look at pictures of girls. All lonesome and by themselves.


I want, so badly to just be okay with it all.
I hate hate hate the fact that this bothers me.

He doesn't hide it or anything. I mean, he doesn't have anything to hide!!
And it's not even that we have a bad sex life! It's amazingly wonderful!

I don't know what's wrong and I really am uncomfortable with myself for this.
I really don't want to talk to him about it because then he will think that he has done something wrong and he hasn't! I don't want him to stop watching porn just because it upsets me.

I would rather just get a better understanding as to why I am upset rather than for him to change.

I hope someone can help... I feel horrible =(