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    Why can't my boyfriend make me orgasm anymore?

    Asked Aug 17, 2013, 12:30 AM 4 Answers
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and before I would always orgasm from him but for awhile now, I have been having troubles. For over 2 months now my boyfriend haven't been able to make me orgasm. I was very stressed out with school and thought that was the problem but after I finished my exams I still couldn't orgasm. I also recently figured out how to masturbate and have been doing it quite often. I have no problem touching myself until I orgasm, but when my boyfriend tries touching me down there he usually can't make me orgasm. I sometimes think it is because I masterbate too much. I can't get orgasm from him, but that's just my wild guess. I need help very badly! I don't want my boyfriend to feel less manly now that he can't make me orgasm from touch or by sex.
    Last edited by talaniman; Aug 17, 2013 at 11:00 AM.
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    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 21,389, Reputation: 2427
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    #2

    Aug 17, 2013, 03:12 AM
    Your guess about masturbating is probably correct. You have become accustomed to bringing yourself to orgasm, so it doesn't work with your b/f.

    Suggest you stop masturbating for now, it is too predictable and you know what you like!
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,090, Reputation: 10293
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    #3

    Aug 17, 2013, 11:12 AM


    You were brought to orgasm before because you wanted to be and were turned on, but now that you have learned to do it yourself, it not so easy and you have become complacent and expectant of him doing it as before. He hasn't changed anything has he, but you have.

    You just aren't as turned on by the same things as before and you must adjust to feeling and thinking differently and showing him what he needs to do differently. Its like that for most of us and we have to keep learning new tricks, and trying new and different things.
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    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 7,279, Reputation: 3476
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    #4

    Aug 17, 2013, 12:02 PM


    What else has changed? How often do you see each other? Have you changed where you are having sex? Are you comfortable with where you are having sex? Any pregnancy scares? Any arguments/disagreements that haven't been fully resolved or let go?

    Have you been taking time to get aroused before your clothes are off and you are in bed?

    Masturbation isn't the issue if this started before you started masturbating.

    Masturbation can help you learn what feels good to you but more importantly for a female it can help you explore what turns you mentally. Physical stimulation is only a part of the overall experience. What have you tried to get your mind stimulated?

    The female orgasm actually begins in the mind and the body follows. Distractions, pressure, stress, etc. can keep the mind from allowing the feedback loop to form. If you are trying too hard to reach a goal, you may be moving the finish line without realizing it.

    How you like to be touched when you are masturbating may be different from what turns you on when your boyfriend touches you. Instead of saying touch me here and there, let him explore and give him feedback for when it feels good and when it doesn't. Remember that your entire body is an erogenous zone and don't concentrate on one spot or area. Don't forget to try different pressures, tempos, textures, sounds, odors, etc. Mutual exploration and full sensory stimulation (not over-stimulation) can be fun and rewarding.

    Because arousal and orgasm begin in the mind, try talking to your partner about fantasies. Building a fantasy world together can help you discover what you both like and what might be fun to try. Some things can be great fantasy concepts but you wouldn't want to try in real life. Talking about them can help focus your mind and get you both on the same page.

    Stop putting pressure on yourself to climax. Enjoy the journey instead of racing for the finish.
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    priscilla3155's Avatar
    priscilla3155 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 17, 2013, 11:10 PM
    Yea I think it maybe that.. we are kind of new at these things and haven't experimented with different things yet. I will try to just let loose and go with the flow . Hopefully this helps out ! Thank you all for your feedbacks : )
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