Here are reasons why i'm doubting my ex-bf is gay:

1. he is insensitive, passive and can hardly show emotions like excitment, worry, pain, happiness (aside from laughing at jokes)
2. his uncle is gay and he told me his uncle is successful and that if he can't find a job, he would just ask his uncle to let him manage one of his salons
3. his younger brother is gay and he gets offended if we ask him if his brother is gay , he says he is not (he's like denying it even if it's obvious)
4. he assured me when we were new in the relationship that a break up will only be possible if i initiated it and it will never be because of him and that third party will never be an issue on his part (although he is really good-looking)
5. he jumps from one relationship to another and has an average relationship-span of less than 2 years before the girl calls it quits
6. he tells me things i want to hear and follows what i tell him and couldn't seem to compose his own words (like if i say i love you, he says i love you, if i say i hate you, he says , i hate you...)
7. when i said "im calling it quits coz im tired of this", he also said "fine! im tired too" and didn't have further questions and his bestfriend told me he seemed very unaffected by our break up
8. he hates all her ex -gfs or thinks it was all their fault and not his fault why the relationship did not work out
9. he never went down on me not even once but always asks me for a bj if we have sex
10. we only have sex at an average of 5x in a year or once in a quarter and then it's always one round
11. he doesn't seem to know how to do foreplay, our sex is like 20 mins and it's done and he sleeps
12. he seems to enjoy more the company of his friends than me
13 he has never planned any date for our special occasions, just normal dinner and then meet up with friends after
14. he always asks me where to go, what to do adn couldn't seem to decide on his own
15. generally, he is a very quiet person who seems to have a lot of emotions going on inside him
16. he has been on the same job with his bestfriend for the past 3 companies, and it has always been his priority to work in the same company as his bestfriend
17. he has a problem communicating with his family , he hasn't engaged in any deep conversations with his family except his bestfriend
18. we never had passionate kissing, for the past several months it was just smooches and smacks and hugs
19. he implies that as long as he is not cheating on me , it's okay, and keeps asking me "what more do you want?"

---i know it's a long list...but IS HE GAY or confused? and then if he is in denial, what is he going through right now? could it be that the repression is the cause of him being incapable of showing emotions? i noticed that he really has a strong bond with his bestfriend and when i talked with his bestfriend, he told me that he is also doubting if he is gay coz he seems to have a lot of things at the back of his mind and that despite their closeness, he hasn't seen him show emotions of pain. and that sometimes, if he is not around, the rest of his friends would joke that "he might be gay coz he isn't even aware he is dating all the hot girls we want to date, and then he turns down his gf sexually".

IF he is gay and is in denial, is he going to be that for the rest of his life? EMOTIONLESS?

doubfulGF

yeah...i know that i'll be happier eventually if i am able to finally move on without him, and although sometimes, i feel that he has taken away my happiness but i know ill have it back once i have moved on...i know i still love him, but right now, i have already made my final decision to let go and move on.

doubfulGF

i actually am willing to support him, it'sjust that he is denying it with himself...and thinks there is no problem with himself and that we simply got tired of each other.
and i've been thinking about that, if he was jsut honest to me, and told me that's why he couldn't satisfy me even if he really wanted to, was bcause he is gay...i would have really accepted him and didn't reject him...although i will back out a little as a lover, but i will never leave him as a friend.

E3317

He probably is gay, but you can't prove it unless you catch him. If it is that bad let it go move on, life is too short for that crap

smoothy

Like ASH123 said....he is too into himself.

He doesn't care what others think, he believes the world revolves around him. In effect he thinks he is right and everyone around him has to conform to his way of doing things as he is right and perfect.

There are both men and women like this. I try to avoid them.

doubfulGF

thanks, smoothy..i know im really on the right track.

kepi

It sounds to me like is just an egotistical jerk. But like it was said before, there isn't a "gay test" you could administer. I think his lack of interest for him performing oral sex on you is a bit puzzling, but a lot of guys don't care about the partner, sadly.

I would suggest you talk to him- only way to find out for sure.

doubfulGF

luckily, he's an ex now...and we don't communicate anymore...ever since the break up...i never texted him and he did the same too