My bf and i live together and i have just started working sundays so i dont spend much time with him on weekends coz when im home he is on the computer..
and one morin before work we got it on but i didnt have time to make him lol if you no what i mean but he didnt care..the next day i was on the computer with him and i was looking up something on google and the sex thing came up i was like what the hell... he went all red and he was like lets talk about it i kept doing what i was doing ..but i couldnt sit there anymore and went off and cryed lol he said he was sorry and would never do it again he said i lefted him horning so he wanked off but sunday night i asked him did you wank off today he said no... so he lyed to me ..he said he loves me but i dont no anymore ..he tells me all the time that he love me ..he knows pornos wrong when you have a gf...i feel like he wants to be with someone else i must bore him but we get it on all the time so whats his deal i dunno how to take this ..this is my first time on this site so i hope this isnt to long lol ..tell me what you think

Synnen

Well, I think that LYING was a bigger problem than the masturbation.

Forbidding masturbation in a relationship is only going to make lying happen. Sorry, but it happens.

Maybe you should address WHY he wanted to masturbate. If it was just a spur of the moment thing, and it's not really affecting your sex life--then where's the problem?

However, if it DOES affect your sex life on a regular basis...then it needs to be addressed.

I would talk to your boyfriend, and tell him that the lying bothers you, and ask him why he couldn't just TELL you he had been masturbating. Try to do this in a non-confrontational way, because you won't get any answers if he is on the defensive.

I think that the more open communication about this may make for better communication in your relationship overall.

Synnen

Reposted from a PM, so that the details the OP provided can shed light for anyone else answering.

Honey...if you and he can't agree on what place porn should have in your relationship, then you're in for a LOT of trouble. Personally, I'm of the mind that porn is about fantasies, and not about what a person REALLY wants. Just because he likes to see it doesn't mean he wants to try it!

If you feel this is disrespectful of you, and he can't see your point of view, you will either need to get over it, get counseling, or get out of the relationship. If you let this simmer, and let it continue to bother you, and he makes no move to change, then there is more going on than just "he likes porn and I hate him liking it".

Just remember that watching porn doesn't necessarily mean he wants someone other than you, or wants you to do something you're not willing to. It just means that he fantasizes about something occasionally that he may not want to do, for the express purpose of getting off. Not because he wants to date those girls, not because he thinks they're beautiful (ask him to describe one sometime...bet his description comes closer to you than to her), just because they're doing something sexual and guys are visual creatures, so it turns him on.

Beckylee

yeh true that has helped heaps ...i just have to get over it lol

Dennis777

Hello.

Take it from a Guy, We all wank off hehehe its part of life and many of us look at porno of one type or another. Because he looked at porno doesn't mean he Loves you any less. Thats like saying if he looks at a girl walking past him at the mall, he likes her more then you. He is going to look and so do you. We all Do. In fact if a Man says he doesn't look he is a lier or dead hehehe.

Now if he starts spending money you don't have on porno thats wrong. If he starts ignoring you for the computer thats wrong. If the only way he can make love is on the computer it's wrong.

Relax and don't worry about it. He still Loves you and sees you as the special lady you are. Maybe have some fun and wank off with him now and then, many couples enjoy it.

Good Luck
Dennis777

bigdreamer85

um are you mad because he materbates or because he lied or becasue he's looking at porn? You know men think about sex ALOT, like every 5 minnutes or something... I agree with dennis, if he starts buying it or ignoring you for it, then hes got a problem. It's ok, It doesnt make him love you any less. He's just a dude. Maybe ask him to think of you instead of those girls when hes doing it or let him take some erotic photos of you for his pleasure....

bigdreamer85

I totally agree, Why don't you tell him to think of you or let him take some erotic (digital) photos of you for his pleasure, after all your the one he wants to lay down at the end of the night.