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I walked in on my husband maturbating

Asked Sep 18, 2008, 04:51 PM — 36 Answers
I walked in on my husband masturbating the other night. I was so pissed I mean I totally understand that most people masturbate but here's the thing my kids were asleep and I was there downstairs. I could've easily had sex with him instead of him taking that route. So then I'm left feeling like crap like what's wrong with me? He says I blew way out of proportion but he didn't reassure me that there's nothing wrong with me. He did'nt say that he was attracted to me or anything along those lines any suggestions?
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36 Answers
jjwoodhull's Avatar
jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 1210
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#2

Sep 18, 2008, 04:54 PM
I think your over reacting. Everyone masturbates.
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jjlash's Avatar
jjlash Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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#3

Sep 18, 2008, 04:59 PM
I just said I understand that everyone does it! Does this mean that he's not into our marriage?
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J_9's Avatar
J_9 Posts: 37,466, Reputation: 25825
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#4

Sep 18, 2008, 04:59 PM
Yup, you are overreacting. Everyone masturbates, and if they don't they should.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jjlash
Does this mean that he's not into our marriage?
Not at all. Sometimes men need to release some stress, this is the easy way to do it. Has nothing to do with you.
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ylaira's Avatar
ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 641
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#5

Sep 18, 2008, 05:05 PM
I think your point is why not just ask you instead of doing it by himself.

Im not a man but I think that moment, he may just want to realease and doesn't necessarily want to go through that kissing and foreplays before the bomb.
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jjlash's Avatar
jjlash Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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#6

Sep 18, 2008, 05:10 PM
Yes thank you that was what I was trying to get across we don't always go through all the foreplay because we have two small children and sometimes we just want to get off real fast before one of them wakes up
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J_9's Avatar
J_9 Posts: 37,466, Reputation: 25825
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#7

Sep 18, 2008, 05:15 PM
Girl, if you knew how long it's been since I had sex, you would have a heart attack, and it's not cause I have small children (only one little one and a teen left at home), but because I work 7pm - 7am and my husband works almost the exact opposite.

Sure, I've caught him masturbating, I just close the door and walk out. It's his time. He's caught me too. And we have a VERY healthy marriage. Marriage isn't all about sex, it's about partnership, friendship, love, compassion and understanding. Sex plays a small part.
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Xrayman's Avatar
Xrayman Posts: 1,176, Reputation: 1007
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#8

Sep 18, 2008, 05:25 PM
Guess what, most of us do it-and often! With a response you gave to him, I am not surprised he wanted some time for HIMSELF. Lighten up, perhaps if you do so-he would want to be with you a bit more often.

Perhaps you could have offered to do it for him, join in or just let him be. I don't know, just back off with the "disgust and shock" so much.
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ylaira's Avatar
ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 641
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#9

Sep 18, 2008, 05:26 PM
Just ask him then and believe whatever he says. Say like " Why don't you just call me so we both can have fun?" then wink.

Whatever you hear, do not bring it up again.
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Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,965, Reputation: 37216
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#10

Sep 18, 2008, 07:21 PM
All it means is you were down stairs and he was up stairs,
I guess instead of getting mad why you did not just join him at the time. You are making way to much out of this,
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