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I'm a 25 year old women, and for most of my life i've lived the traditional way, knowing that inside i felt the total opposite. when i was younger i was attracted to girls, i never let myself follow what i felt due to fear of what people would say, and think, not of me, but of my family. So i did the most common thing i knew what to do. not to follow my feeling, i thought it would go away, but it now it hasn't, so what did i do? i got married to a man, and now going on five years, he is great, he is what any girl would want, that is why i feel so torn inside. i feel so bad for doing this to him. oh i might add we don't have kids, i'm guessing that is a good thing?? please if anyone has any help, from the bottom of my heart i would be greatly appresiative,
First, yes, it is a good thing you do not have kids.
Secondly, it is NEVER too late or a wrong time to be TRUE TO YOURSELF. It will take a lot of courage. Expect to loose some people you care a lot about and not everyone will be understanding and supportive. Most importantly, even though you feel guilty about hurting your husband, it is an even greater injustice for you to live a lie with him.
I hope you find the courage and strength to live upto your own potential and be true to the person you really are, instead of what society and other people want from you.
Do you want to try and supress these feelings and work on your marriage, that is one choice ( and there are always choices) Are you happy in the life you have ?
If not have you discussed this with your husband, what does he feel about it, Talking with him about it, would be first long before you give up on the relationship.
I would try a separation from your husband to give you both time...
then see if your bond is strong or a divorce innevitable.
if you are gay you're gonna grow more and more frustrated and when you leave your husband is gonna need time to restart his life. if you wait, you're robbing him of time.
if you are confused, see a therapist ASAP. but you don't sound confused.
life ain't easy.
but the truth always comes out in the end.
I think that if you were gay you would know for sure by age 25. Either you are in denial, or you are not gay. Why don't you have kids? If iyour husband wants kids and you are not ready (for no specic reason) that is possibly another sign that your are in denial. You are married, you have to think about your husband in this situation. I know you don't want to carry the burden of being gay. If you are gay and reveal it to your husband it will crush him. I know it would crush me. I would rather my wife leave me for another man than another woman.
"Kriscool disagrees: YOU DON'T THINK SHE IS CONFUSED READ WHAT THE LAST THING SHE PUST. ITS THE WORD *****CONFUSED*****"
Ayy, yay-yay....Kid, all i meant was she seems resolute about her sexuality. and not about her domestic moves. That's to what I was referring. i think you misunderstood what i was referencing when i spoke of "confusion" but thanks for the NEGATIVE comments....
As i said before, I think there are better places for a 12 year old, but i'll leave it at that. :-)
Do You Want To Have Sex With The Same Sex..... If The Answer Is Yes, Then Your Gay, And Thats Cool. Dont Beat Yourself Up!!!!
So Now The Question Is, Where Do You Go From Here. There Are Alot Of Gay People Out There That Are Married And Living A Straight Life. I Am One Of Those People.... I Have 2 Children And I Decided A Long Time Ago That My Obligation To Them Are Well Above My Own.. Now Perhaps When There Grown And Gone Things Might Change, But For Now, My Focus Has To Be On Them.
Your Situation Is Different.... I Wish You The Best And Hope For You Happiness Regardless Of Your Decision!
I think you should follow your heart.
I know your married but if he loves
you and is a good a guy as you
much as you say he is
well honey he'll want you happy..
Be your self and live with love
in you heart not a burden..
I agree that you will definitely know if you are gay. i think that the fact that you married a man says that you have been able to supress this in your life to such an extent to suggest that you are in fact bisexual.
Firstly, you tell me are you 100% sure that you could fall in love with and have "sex" with a woman ONLY from this point on (if you split with your man?) if the answer is no then you are not gay/lesbian. If yes, well then you will both be hurting sooner or later. perhaps discussion about your "tendancies" with your husband may help, perhaps it really is only a bi-curious situation-only you can really tell us as only you know yourself.
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