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I think my daughter is being sexually abused by my boyfriend of 7 years

Asked Jun 23, 2012, 06:04 PM — 48 Answers
I was 18 when I me my boyfriend he was 24, I had a one year old daughter from a previous relationship, he accepted my daughter & 6 months after dating I became pregnant with another girl, my oldest started calling him daddy since her biological father wasn't in the picture....well everything seemed fine for the first couple years, after 4 years of dating he introduced me to meth but I never got into it cuz my kids mean more to me, when he would get high he liked to masturbate a lot. One time I remember waking up & he wasn't in bed he was in my daughters room in an empty bed cuz both my girls fell asleep in same bed, he was masterbating to porn & said that was the only place he could get signal which we didn't get good signal he got up when I told him too & I told him that's not right & he said he wont do it again. He is an alcholic and druggy which he wasn't when I first met him... Well 5 years later we had another girl & he got high one night & I was sharing my bed with my 3 girls cuz we fell asleep watching a movie & my oldest fell asleep at the foot & I woke up to him trying to lay by her at the foot it looked like he was playing with himself so I woke my child up & made her get by my middle child .... It was my 2 month old, me, middle child then oldest in my king size bed I fell back asleep when she got close to me, then about 30 minutes I woke up to hearing her say I'm tired real loud then jerking her hand away and rolled onto her belly. I immediately jumped up and yanked the covers and saw her pants pulled down just pastd
her butt & b4 I could say anything I was crying & he was saying what's wrong baby, your tripping. I made the girls get up & we went to my parents I didn't tell anyone in my family but a few days later I went to detective & had her interviewed & they said she didn't say anything happened so they closed case & said I can go back home. Now he is a registered sex offender for sleeping with a 14 yr old when he was 19, his brother is in jail for being accused of raping his girlfriends 7 yr old daughter but his isn't true cuz the girl was told to say that, but I have seen things with my own eyes an I feel disgusted & I never asked her cuz I'm scared I do love him but I am going to protect my kids. He seems to only have interest in my oldest though, he gets drunk everyday just about & he stares at her weird & when i catch him he looks away quickly, He denied everything but doesn't seem to be honest! Please tell me what u think I should do. We have been together for 7 years now, my oldest is 8 our kids we have together are 5 and 7 months.
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48 Answers
Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,965, Reputation: 37221
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#2

Jun 23, 2012, 06:08 PM
I think you are a sad excuse for a mother. Having kid after kid with a drug addict and then after issue after issue, picking to stay with him and not leave. After what was obvious abuse, just because a poor child could not tell a police officer it happened, ( what did you see remember) you go back.

I think social services should have came in and taken the kids away from you long ago, and most likely will if you dont get yourself out and away from him.
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LadySam's Avatar
LadySam Posts: 1,377, Reputation: 1328
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#3

Jun 23, 2012, 06:15 PM
Strange behavior indeed, even stranger that you have continued in this relationship after he started doing meth, let alone got caught masturbating in the room where your children sleep.
I would say that if you now want to protect your children you will get yourself and them far away from him.
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Adodge's Avatar
Adodge Posts: 16, Reputation: -1
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#4

Jun 23, 2012, 06:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
I think you are a sad excuse for a mother. Having kid after kid with a drug addict and then after issue after issue, picking to stay with him and not leave. After what was obvious abuse, just because a poor child could not tell a police officer it happened, ( what did you see remember) you go back.

I think social services should have came in and taken the kids away from you long ago, and most likely will if you dont get yourself out and away from him.
I was 18 when I met him & he wasn't on drugs or drinking at that time, he started drinking 2 years after we dated, he didn't bring meth around me until after 4 or 5 years cuz he knew I was against it, I wasnt raised around it so I didn't know he was on it cuz it wasn't a everyday thing and the drinking and getting high part is just recently getting heavier. He wasnt always a drunk until AFTER we had our 3rd child. I AM a good mother & I take care of my kids I am just seeking help cuz I was half asleep when all that happened & though maybe I was tripping. But I think about it everyday & I do not let him around my kids alone! I am looking for advise because this is a scary situation. Oh & he called me stupid & worthless and makes me feel like I don't have anywhere to go all this is recent. So along with the verbal abuse I never been In this situation and I didn't ask to either but I am & all I was doing was asking for advise
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Adodge's Avatar
Adodge Posts: 16, Reputation: -1
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#5

Jun 23, 2012, 06:33 PM
And it was hard to leave after 5 years because he is all I know & I loved him. But now I am packing my stuff and getting the kids out but I am scared of him, that's why it's taking me so long. Now another question is if she didn't saying anything to the cop then how am I suppose to do anything if he has been abusing her!
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LadySam's Avatar
LadySam Posts: 1,377, Reputation: 1328
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#6

Jun 23, 2012, 06:36 PM
If you are suspicious enough to not let your kids around him alone then I think you have your answer.
Get those girls the hell away from him.
And I strongly suggest getting a good lawyer as he will probably want visitation.
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Adodge's Avatar
Adodge Posts: 16, Reputation: -1
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#7

Jun 23, 2012, 06:44 PM
Thank you, I didn't realize it before that all he does is abuse me, he has made me quit every job I had to "stay home & be broke" I had to be home when he is home, he spends all of my child support after he blows his check and I get nothing & he is so far behind I. Bills. He won't see my oldest daughter again cuz she isn't biologically his, but I wont take a chance on my other kids
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WisperWill70's Avatar
WisperWill70 Posts: 258, Reputation: 381
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#8

Jun 26, 2012, 09:04 AM
If you're accept this guy in your life..... with his abuse, isolation, drug use, alcohol use and possible sexual abuse of your kids - you need COUNSELING ASAP!!! You should not have children in your care. It's OK to bring yourself down to disaster by staying with this guy and ruining your own life but you're involving your children, risking their safety and teaching them lessons about how to treat themselves they can never unlearn. If they survive this - your relationship with them will never repair and they will hate you for permitting this stuff to happen in their lives. wake up.

Get help now before it's too late.
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JudyKayTee's Avatar
JudyKayTee Posts: 46,152, Reputation: 23855
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#9

Jun 26, 2012, 08:25 PM
He's bad; you're worse.

Someone needs to save the children. Is it going to be you?
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smoothy's Avatar
smoothy Posts: 15,697, Reputation: 10813
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#10

Jun 27, 2012, 10:08 AM
Hell, I'd like to call CPS on both of you. Those kids deserve better.
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